Do you feel broken after infidelity or betrayal? What if you aren’t “broken” and need to be fixed, but have been “broken open” for good, and called to evolve? Like a seed, your evolution begins by being broken open, and depending on your perspective and choices, you can either flourish and thrive, or wither and die. Learn the pivotal difference between being broken and being broken open, and how to gently nurture yourself, and strategically plant “seeds” for your future growth.
Top Take-a-Ways:
- **Transformation Through Trauma**: Discover how to convert painful experiences into opportunities for personal expansion and deeper self-understanding.
- **Power of Perspective**: Learn techniques to reframe challenges, emphasizing the importance of choosing thoughts and actions that foster positivity and resilience.
- **Embracing Growth**: Understand the metaphor of the seed — breaking to grow — and how this applies to personal development stages following betrayal or hardship.
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About Lora:
Attorney, speaker and Burnout & Betrayal Recovery Coach, Lora Cheadle believes that betrayal uncovers the truth of what’s possible when we stop focusing on what was done to us and start showing up unapologetically for ourselves. She helps women rebuild their identity and self-worth after infidelity so they can reclaim (or find for the very first time) their confidence, clarity, and connection to source and create their own kind of happily ever after.
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Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile! Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!
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Transcript
Lora Cheadle [00:00:02]:
Hello, and welcome to Flaunt. Find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Lora Cheadle, and today’s episode is called, are you broken or broken open? And let me tell you, there is a difference. There is a big difference between broken and being broken open. Before we begin, I’d like to tell you a little bit about me. I was cheated on by my husband of 23 years, and it completely destroyed me. I thought we were best friends. I thought we had a playful, fun, loving relationship.
Lora Cheadle [00:00:53]:
I thought I was so secure. Everything in my life I thought was on the right track. Did we have problems? Of course. We had all of the normal problems. We would get busy. We would divide and conquer. I would get distracted. He would get distracted.
Lora Cheadle [00:01:14]:
The kids would have things going on. Families would have things going on. We’d have some arguments over money or holidays or things like that, but nothing was wrong. It was all normal. It was all normal stuff. So when I found out that he had been cheating on me for 15 years with 5 different women. I too felt broken. And I say I too, because it is my guess that you felt the same.
Lora Cheadle [00:01:49]:
It shattered my past. It shattered my memories. I kept thinking back to when my kids were in preschool and elementary and holidays and anniversaries and trips and all of the things and was like, what is real and what is not real? It shattered the plans I had for my future. I was about to become an empty nester, and I was really excited and looking forward to getting back to just us again. And, you know, it destroyed all of that. Now fast forward a little bit over 6 years later, we are back together. Yes. We did separate for a little bit.
Lora Cheadle [00:02:35]:
We are happier as a couple. We are stronger as individuals, and I wouldn’t change who I am for anything. Did I enjoy this journey? No. I did not, but I am grateful for this journey. I am deeply, profoundly grateful for this journey, and here’s why. I am deeply and profoundly grateful for this journey because it broke me open. It didn’t break me. It broke me open to growth.
Lora Cheadle [00:03:15]:
It broke me open to the truth. It broke me open to a new perspective. It broke me open to deeper love, to deeper intimacy, to deeper connection. It broke me open to joy. It broke me open to all of these things that I wanted that I needed, but that I didn’t know how to get. I always say the betrayal uncovers the truth. Betrayal uncovers the truth, sure, about what your partner did, about what the other person did, but that doesn’t really matter. I mean, that’s great to know whatever.
Lora Cheadle [00:04:01]:
What matters is what it uncovers inside of you. It uncovers wounds that need to be healed. It uncovers thought patterns and beliefs that it might be time to update. It uncovers fear. It uncovers fear both of, like, all of the things that you really want to have happen, but that haven’t happened and that you’re afraid will never happen. But it also uncovers, like, the fear of being alone, the fear of wasting time, the fear of wasting your life, the fear of never finding love again, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not being worthy. All of those fears are wounds that you can address, that you can grow through. It pushes you to forgive things that you don’t think are forgivable.
Lora Cheadle [00:05:10]:
It pushes you to accept. It, pushes you. This is a big one to let go of the outcome and to just be in the flow and be in the process. And that’s a really hard one and it uncovers all of that. And it breaks you open so you can embrace all of that or not. We just got done in my Facebook group with my spring awakening challenge, and you might know I am a huge proponent of working with the wisdom of the seasons. Winter is a time for resting, going in within self reflection, death, dying, solitude, darkness, quiet, all of that. Spring is the time to plant seeds.
Lora Cheadle [00:06:13]:
It’s the time to awaken to what’s possible, to awaken to what is possible for you in the next chapter of your life. And what I love about the gentleness of spring and that awakening is it’s not do, do, do, do, do, do it now. Do it now. You’re planting the seed now, and you’re picking out what seed that you want to plant. If you’re planting a garden and you want carrots, you plant carrot seeds. If you want zucchini, you plant zucchini seeds. If you want strawberries, you plant strawberry seeds and on and on. So what seed are you going to plant? And here’s the thing.
Lora Cheadle [00:07:06]:
It’s okay. If you don’t know it is so okay. If you don’t know, you don’t have to know right now. You can explore My first steps coaching program, my affair recovery, clarity, confidence, and calm along the way is all about figuring it out. It’s all about exploring all the different options and figuring out how do I want to be on the other side of this. What plant do I wanna plant? Because there’s nothing worse than being pressured to know answers you don’t know, and you’re not ready to know, and you’re not supposed to know quite yet. Have you been broken? Yeah. If you’ve been cheated on, you probably feel broken.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:03]:
Let’s talk about that. What does it mean to be broken? If somebody falls and breaks a leg, it’s a bad thing, and we have to fix the leg. If you drop your phone and you break the screen, it’s broken. Oh, no. It’s a shame. It’s a bad thing. We have to replace it. We have to fix it or we have to live with the break.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:27]:
The first thing that so many of us think when we think broken is bad. I’ve been broken. It’s bad. And then what does that lead to? What does being broken lead to? It needs to being leads to needing to be fixed. If your leg is broken, it needs to be fixed. If your phone is broken, it needs to be fixed. If something is broken, we need to fix it. Right? Because it’s bad.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:57]:
It’s wrong. It’s not normal. It’s not what we want. Sit with that for a minute. Do you feel broken? It’s okay if you feel broken. I felt broken. But what does it mean to be broken? That’s what I want you to explore. What does that mean to be broken? Because I just gave you all these examples where what it means is that something is bad, that something is wrong, that something is damaged, that something needs fixing.
Lora Cheadle [00:09:36]:
But what if being broken was not bad? What if being broken was not wrong? And what if you didn’t need fixing at all? I was just talking about spring and seeds and growth. When you finally decide what seed it is that you want to plant, You have to plant that seed and you hide it away in the earth and you cover it up and you water it and you give it some sunlight and fresh air and you wait. But do you know the very first thing that a seed does? The very first thing a seed does is breaks. Yeah. It breaks. What would happen if you knew that seed had broken and you rushed in to fix it? What would happen to that plant, to that growth if you ran in either with your super glue or with your liquid melted gold and you glued that seed back together again And then you covered it up and you put some water on it and you gave it fresh air and sunshine and oh, no. That seed, it ah, shoot. It broke again.
Lora Cheadle [00:11:22]:
And you did the same thing, and you rushed in and you fixed it because we don’t like things that are broken. You would destroy that seed. All seeds are encoded with the full potential of the plants that they are going to become. All seeds are encoded with the fullest potential of what they can become, whether it’s the mighty oak tree or the tomato plant or the flower with beautiful blossoms. All of that is inside the seed and it has to break to get it out. That seed has to break to grow. The breaking starts the flourishing process. The breaking open is what we want.
Lora Cheadle [00:12:27]:
Even think about some of our languaging that we use about it cracked my heart wide open. I had such a closed heart and seeing that baby or seeing that kitten or sing, sing humanity, doing all of this wonderful stuff. It cracked me wide open. It cracked me open and it filled me up. That’s a breaking. Opening your heart requires a breaking. You can’t fill yourself up if you’re already closed. So the first thing is to shift that perception around.
Lora Cheadle [00:13:09]:
Are you broken or are you broken open? And even if you feel broken right now, my challenge to you is to be willing to see it differently, to be willing to see yourself as broken open instead of just broken. And it doesn’t matter if you don’t feel it fully yet. It will come. How do you think that seed feels in the ground, in the dark, in this damp, dark place when it first cracks? It probably doesn’t feel that great either, but there’s wisdom that surrounds that seed that surrounds you, that you don’t have to know or understand. And that wisdom allows that seed to grow, to germinate, to reach up up through the dark soil and into the light where it starts unfurling and growing and thriving and flourishing and becoming what it was always meant to be becoming what it was always encoded to be. And that’s powerful and yeah, pushing up through the soil is heavy. It’s hard work. We’ve all seen that sometimes plants grow a little bit cattywampus or a little bit sideways, but they’re leaning towards the light.
Lora Cheadle [00:15:14]:
They are drawn towards the light, towards the sun, and so are you. And, no, that plant doesn’t know what it’s going to see once it cracks through the soil and you might not know where you are going to be either. And that’s what I was saying earlier. If you don’t know where you want to be, if you don’t know who you want to be, if you don’t know any of those things, that’s okay. You don’t need to. Eventually, you will need to. But for right now, trusting is enough. Right now, letting yourself move towards the sun is enough.
Lora Cheadle [00:15:59]:
Right now, being covered with soil or fertilizer in the dark, in the damp, in the cold, that’s enough. Even if you don’t feel broken open. My challenge to you is to just add that one little word, Add that one little word. Every time you think to yourself, I’m so broken, add the word open. Every time you hop online, whether it’s in my Facebook group or another group or anytime you send an email or a text to somebody and you say, I’m so broken, go back and add, I’m so broken open. And you don’t have to feel it. Like I said, you don’t have to feel it yet. But the power of adding that one word is the power of affirming for yourself that this is for something good as opposed to for something bad.
Lora Cheadle [00:17:04]:
You get to choose which lens being broken for bad or being broken open for good. You get to choose. The choice is yours. Are you broken for bad and you need fixing and you’re never going to be the same again. And it’s permanently ruined my life and it’s permanently changed everything. And I will never be whole and I will never be the same. How does that make you feel? Hopeless, powerless, bad, sad, mad, bitter, resentful, hurt. If you wanna feel like that, feel like that.
Lora Cheadle [00:17:56]:
That’s your choice or shift the lens. You’re not changing your experience. You’re shifting your lens. You’re being willing to see it differently. You are being willing to see being broken differently. I have been broken open. I was broken open. I have been a broken open.
Lora Cheadle [00:18:26]:
I am broken wide open and I don’t know what’s going to come, but I trust because I know the breaking open is the first step. I know that breaking open is the first step of growth, and I trust that growth. I don’t know what it means. I don’t yet know if I’m going to bear fruit or if I’m going to blossom and become a flower or if I’m going to be a tree. I don’t know what I’m going to be. I might be a zucchini. I might be a tomato. I don’t know.
Lora Cheadle [00:19:03]:
I am just trusting the process of growth because I know I’ve been broken open and I know that’s the first step. How does that make you feel? How does it make you feel to know, hey, this is the first step. I don’t know what’s to come, but I know the first step has happened. Let me tell you a little story. This weekend, I MC’d a conference. It was a fabulous conference called the power of me, and it was a conference that was focused on transformation. And there were a variety of keynote speakers, and then there were several of the smaller, more intimate classes where people would share their experience. 1 of the keynotes, well, all of the keynotes were very powerful, but one of the keynotes, a woman shared her experience of losing her son to suicide.
Lora Cheadle [00:20:20]:
That’s hard to even say. That’s hard to hear. That’s hard to think about. Right? That’s awful. And she gave the most beautiful, incredible talk, not only where she shared her lessons from that journey, but she also bravely concluded that talk by sharing a slideshow of his life and asking us all to remember him. In her talk. She talked about evolution and how she has had to evolve through this tragedy, how it has made her a different person. And the slideshow ended and there was not a dry eye in the place, And I had to stand up as the emcee and bring on the next speaker.
Lora Cheadle [00:21:35]:
And it was like, how can I honor this? How can I hold enough space and honor for that experience? And then transition this entire room full of people into the rest of the evening, into a lighter, more celebratory experience. And whenever I am tasked with different things, I go within and I ask spirit. I ask my higher self. I ask source, whatever you wanna call it. God, Jesus, spirit, universe. It doesn’t matter. And I ask for wisdom to flow through me because what I want so badly is to serve, to help, to be the conduit of whatever wisdom needs to come through. And as I was walking up on that stage, the words came to me.
Lora Cheadle [00:22:47]:
Some evolution we choose, and some evolution chooses us. And then at the end of the conference, during my final toast, that was the toast that I chose to the evolution we choose and to the evolution that chooses us. Because every woman at that conference was there for some sort of evolution. Every woman there was for some sort of growth, whether it was divorce or empty nesting or infidelity or just becoming a better version of who they were. Every woman there chose that conference because they wanted to grow. They were choosing their own evolution. But like doctor Liz, the woman who shared doctor Liz Wilson, the woman who shared her story, she didn’t choose that evolution. She didn’t choose that evolution.
Lora Cheadle [00:24:01]:
She did not choose to have her son commit suicide. She was broken, not for bad. She was broken open for good. And I invite you to lean into that concept of evolution. You did not choose to have your partner cheat on you. You did not choose this evolution, but it’s here. It’s here now. And what are you going to do with it? What are you going to make of it? There’s some beautiful stuff encoded in you.
Lora Cheadle [00:24:55]:
I don’t know what it is. You might not know what it is yet, but I know that it is there. I know that each and every one of us has a far greater potential than we are allowing ourselves to live. And I know that the first step in achieving that potential is being broken open. You didn’t choose this, but it is evolution. It just is in every sense of the word. Betrayal uncovers the truth. It uncovers the truth of the potential that’s inside of you waiting to expand, waiting to grow.
Lora Cheadle [00:25:47]:
And here’s an important part, waiting to be nurtured and nourished by you, by you. Your potential is waiting for you to be nurtured and nourished by you. When you’re ready, when you’re ready, your potential is waiting. Your next chapter is waiting. Everything is waiting for you because just like that seed, just like that seed that has cracked open that plant, that new growth can flourish and thrive or wither and die. You can plant the healthiest seed in the world. It can crack open and without water, without sunlight, put in dead soil. It’s not going to grow very much.
Lora Cheadle [00:27:07]:
It’s gonna be weak. It might not bear fruit, but given the right amount of water for what it is, some plants require more, some require less given the right amount of sunlight. Some require full sun, some require partial sun, some are shade loving plants, giving the right amount of fertilizer. Fertilizers all have different nutrient ratios. The nitrogen, some require, you know, manure. They’re all different. Some are acidic. You have to learn what you need.
Lora Cheadle [00:27:53]:
You don’t just take a seed and dump water on it and squirt some fertilizer on it and maybe pick up a bag of manure and put it on top and stick it in the sun and hope. You figure out, Oh, this is a full sun variety. No, no, no. This one requires shade, damp shade, no hot and dry. You figure out what that seed needs and you do what it takes to give it what it needs in order to grow and flourish and thrive. Is it work? Sure. Is it exciting? Yeah. It’s kind of cool, isn’t it? There’s a lot of information on recovering from infidelity and betrayal out there.
Lora Cheadle [00:28:43]:
And, you know, some of it’s good and some of it’s not. And the biggest reason that I started doing what I was what I’m doing here is because I couldn’t find what I needed when I went through my journey. I needed a mentor, somebody who had been there too, who understood what I was feeling, not somebody to give me their opinions, but somebody who had been there too. I needed somebody who would get real. There were, and this may sound rude, but there are a lot of middle aged white men out there. There’s a lot of middle aged men out there who have not been through this. And sure, they may be smart and everything, but they don’t have the experience. And I needed somebody who had my back, but also who had my heart.
Lora Cheadle [00:29:38]:
I needed somebody to support me. Also, I knew my journey was different. I know your journey is different. No two journeys are the same. I did not want somebody pigeonholing me. I need somebody to see me and to hear me and to honor me and to respect me. And I also really, really needed somebody to empower me. I needed somebody to empower me to become my greatest self through this journey.
Lora Cheadle [00:30:15]:
And there’s a lot of toxic people out there. There’s a lot of toxic people who are not there to support, but who are there to spread their own brand of negativity and defeat. And I did not want that. I’m a lawyer. I pride myself on the way that I can think and solve problems and get to the root cause of what’s really going on. And I couldn’t find anybody out there who was the same, who can help me think and evaluate and ascertain and discern and use knowledge and wisdom as well as art and spirit. I needed that balance of head and heart and support and love and trust. And I needed someone to help me rise up into the fullest expression of who I was so I could become everything that I have been meant to be.
Lora Cheadle [00:31:20]:
And that’s why I started doing this because I know what it’s like to be desperate and to be buried in the dark earth and to not know which way is up and to not know if you wanna stay together or separate or divorce this way or use mediation or do this or do that or give another chance or what it meant. I needed someone to look at me and to help me figure out how much water, how much sunlight, how much fertilizer I needed, not to tell me a formula that worked for somebody else because that somebody else wasn’t me, and their potential was not my potential. And that’s why I started doing what I’m doing, because this is too important of an experience. This is too powerful of an experience to not capitalize on. I was broken open. How often are we broken open? Not that often. If I have been broken, I wanna break myself open fully. I wanna go all the way.
Lora Cheadle [00:32:35]:
I wanna grow, baby. I wanna reach not only the sun, but the stars. I wanna lean in and I wanna embrace this experience that chose me because it chose me for a reason and it chose you for a reason too. And with all my heart and with all my soul, I don’t want you to say I’m broken. Let’s fix me and to fix yourself and then to limp along the rest of your life with amended heart, amended bone, amended, whatever. I want you to break wide open. I want you to break open further than you’ve ever broken so you can grow and glow and expand and rise and flourish into new Heights. That in the past, you may never have even thought were possible.
Lora Cheadle [00:33:41]:
And why do I know there’s more there for you? Why do I know? I know because otherwise this evolution would not have chosen you. It wouldn’t have chosen you if there wasn’t more. Just like the seed, you have been encoded with something. What do you need in order to rise? What do you need in order to thrive? And that’s what this experience is all about. Shifting the lens from being broken to being broken, open and being broken open for what purpose? I don’t know yet. I don’t know how much higher I am going to climb. I don’t know how much brighter I’m going to shine, but I’m willing. I’m willing.
Lora Cheadle [00:34:47]:
You might not know what’s next for you and that’s okay. Are you willing? Are you willing? That’s all it takes. Yes. I’m willing I’m willing to embrace the evolution that I didn’t choose, but that somehow some way is here anyway. It’s a lot. I know. I wanna move into some practical tools for the second half of the show because this whole first half is inspiration. It’s shifting the perspective.
Lora Cheadle [00:35:37]:
It’s letting you see things differently. And the next step is, okay. I get it. I think I get it. I’m willing to get it. Even if I’m not there yet, I’m willing to get it. The next step is how. My answer is slowly.
Lora Cheadle [00:36:00]:
My answer is with trust. You’re flying blind and that’s okay. Use the analogy of the seed. You’re in the dirt. It’s dark. There is light somewhere. You just have to move through the darkness long enough to find that light. So move through that darkness, move through the darkness, give yourself permission to move through, to grow the wrong way, to stop and to rest in the comfort of this dark rich soil, but to just be willing to keep moving, to keep trusting and to keep growing because the light is there.
Lora Cheadle [00:37:03]:
And here’s another analogy. Here’s another story I wanna leave you with. And yes, in case you’re wondering, yes, this book is coming. This book, the seed is all about moving from broken to broken open so you can flourish and thrive. And it’s coming not until next year, but it’s coming. Here’s the other thing. Do you think that little sprout always pops through the soil at the peak of day at this beautiful broad daylight, or do you think sometimes that little sprout pops through the soil and it’s night? Or it pops through the soil and it’s rainy or dark. It pops through the soil whenever, and it doesn’t pop through at the height of daytime, and that’s an important thing that I wanna talk about.
Lora Cheadle [00:38:01]:
We see transition. We see transformation. We see all of this growth as like, angels are singing and growth is happening, and I’m gonna get whisked away, you know, in this glass carriage with a prince. It’s not that way. The growth happens slowly in the dark and sometimes when we pop through, it’s still dark. Sometimes we have to wait for morning to come. Sometimes we have to wait for morning to come and that’s okay too. Because so much of it is around trust, trusting ourselves, trusting the process, and trusting the evolution, trusting that we’ve already been encoded with something grander, more brilliant, more powerful than even we think.
Lora Cheadle [00:39:09]:
So tools for doing that, tools for having trust. The first one is knowing that you can shift your perspective. The very first tool is choice. The power of choice. You can shift your perspective every single day, every single hour. Start noticing when you are choosing thoughts that bring you down and make you heavy. I am broken. I’m defeated.
Lora Cheadle [00:39:41]:
It’s dark. This is awful. And it’s not about beating yourself up for having them. We all have them, but it’s about choosing a different thought, choosing a thought that makes you feel better. The first tool is choosing a thought that makes you feel better. Write that down. Send yourself a text. Open up a Google Doc, whatever it is.
Lora Cheadle [00:40:06]:
Choose a thought that makes you feel better. It can be something like this too shall pass. It can be something like the cheating was not about me. It can be something like I love chocolate. Wow, look at the grass. Pretty clouds today. I gotta talk to my kids later on this evening. It can be small.
Lora Cheadle [00:40:39]:
It can be completely irrelevant. All I’m asking you to do is choose a thought that makes you feel better. What makes you feel better? I’m feeling good. I’m feeling better. Choose a thought that makes you feel better. I am broken open for good. I’m growing. I’m evolving.
Lora Cheadle [00:41:07]:
There is some reason that this evolution chose me. I don’t know what it is yet. I am choosing faith. I am choosing trust. I am choosing to capitalize on this experience. Because, really, what makes you feel better? I am broken and I am damaged and that person did it to me and this person did it to me, or, wow. I am choosing to capitalize on this. I am choosing to grow.
Lora Cheadle [00:41:39]:
I’m choosing to reinvent myself. I am choosing to be willing. That’s your first tool is choice. 2nd tool, and I talk about this a lot, but it’s so powerful. The second tool is choosing laughter, choosing laughter. Sometimes when you feel like crying, the only thing you can do is laugh. Sometimes you can’t laugh. I remember looking in the mirror after my d day, after my series of d days, and it was like, oh my gosh, whose face is this? I had so much grief and sadness in my face and my my whole demeanor.
Lora Cheadle [00:42:26]:
I just looked way down. But for some reason, I made that choice in the moment to laugh, and I kept thinking about this scene from this movie, and I cannot remember the name of the movie. It might have been Michelle and Romy’s high school reunion, whatever that movie was. But it was a movie about some girls that went to their high school reunion. And there was this woman with a saggy face, and then she kept pulling her face down. And the the 2 girls were like, oh, no. No. Don’t do that.
Lora Cheadle [00:42:59]:
Don’t do that. Don’t do that. And I think any of us over, what, age 40 have probably done that where we look in the mirror and we’re like, oh, I gotta lift this back up to where it’s supposed to be. Or after we’ve had babies, we lift our chest or our belly up, and we’re like, oh, this is where it needs to be. And we take our hands and we, like, move our body up. And it’s funny. And it’s funny. And I looked at myself in the mirror, and I’m like, oh, hang dog expression.
Lora Cheadle [00:43:29]:
I look awful. And I put my hands on my face and I started putting it back to where it should be, and it cracked me up, and I started thinking about that movie and just like, oh, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. And it was just a moment of levity that helped. And you too can always choose laughter. You can always choose laughter. And even if it’s not full blown laughter, it can be that little quirky piece of joy.
Lora Cheadle [00:44:03]:
You can always choose to go out and smile at somebody else. You can choose to go to a park with a playground and look at kids playing. You can choose to go look at animals or funny videos online. You can choose to read something funny. You know what lights you up. My father-in-law recently passed away. And when we were cleaning out his bookshelves, we found the complete collection of far side cartoons, the Gary Larson, the far side. They’re hilarious.
Lora Cheadle [00:44:42]:
We took that book home and I’ve been looking through it because it’s hilarious. And when I feel compressed, when I feel exhausted, when I feel drained, it just takes a few minutes of reading those, and it brings that laughter back. Why? Because I am choosing it. We’re gonna go see a comedy show on Saturday. Why? Because I’m choosing it. Because I’ve had a lot going on lately and I felt heavy and I felt compressed and I am choosing laughter. Just like you choose a thought that makes you feel better, choose choose laughter. Call a funny friend, watch a funny movie, check out a comedian.
Lora Cheadle [00:45:26]:
There are so many ways you can find laughter. Search it. YouTube it. Look at yourself in the mirror. Make a funny face at yourself. Choose laughter. Choose your thoughts. Choose laughter, have faith, be patient, and have trust.
Lora Cheadle [00:45:55]:
And then the third thing is choose to get help. Choose to get help. I don’t care what kind of help you get. Choose to get help, and we’ve talked about this before. Be picky about the kind of help you get. If you see a therapist or a counselor or clergy or coach or anybody and it works, wonderful, stick with it. And if it doesn’t, try somebody else. Try somebody else.
Lora Cheadle [00:46:26]:
You are not obligated to stay with somebody that’s not doing it for you. It’s not personal. It’s about you. Get help. Get help. We all need support. Get help. Do you think the plant can grow on its own? Usually, plants that grow on their own are weeds.
Lora Cheadle [00:46:53]:
Plants that grow on their own are weeds. They just spring up everywhere. They’re not cultivated. They’re not curated. They’re weeds. Are you becoming a weed? Get help. Curate. Cultivate.
Lora Cheadle [00:47:10]:
Let somebody in who can hold a bigger vision of you, a bigger vision for you as a person, a bigger vision for your relationship. Maybe only the relationship with yourself, maybe both the relationship with yourself and your partner, but this is about you. You’ve been hurt. Get help. Capitalize on this experience. Capitalize on the take advantage of it. It happened. Let’s move on, and let’s make it bigger and better.
Lora Cheadle [00:47:48]:
Oh my gosh. Don’t go back to what you used to be. Capitalize on this. And if you’re not sure how, get help. Reach out to me in one session. I can help you expand your vision. I can help you become willing. That’s the other thing that I wanna say.
Lora Cheadle [00:48:11]:
There are levels of where you’re at. I just did a show a couple weeks ago about the different levels and the stages of change. You don’t have to be willing right now. You don’t have to be all in right now. Be where you’re at. I’m sure some of you were like fist pumping in the air, and you’re like, I’m in. I’m ready. I’m calling you right now, Lora, and I’m starting tomorrow.
Lora Cheadle [00:48:36]:
Send me that weekly email right now. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. I’m signing up for your full coaching package, and I’m all in, and we’re gonna talk every single day. And you’re gonna be by my side, and I’m ready, and I’m willing. Great. If you’re there. Great.
Lora Cheadle [00:48:52]:
Call me now. We’ll start today. Call me now. We’ll start today. And there’s some of you who are probably thinking, I don’t know. I don’t know. This sounds kinda scary. I don’t know.
Lora Cheadle [00:49:06]:
I don’t know. I don’t know. Let me sit with this for a minute. Let me think about it. Let me try some things on my own. Let me read a book. Let me listen to some more podcasts. Let me interact in the Facebook group.
Lora Cheadle [00:49:20]:
Let me send you an email and then ghost you. Let me and that’s okay. That’s okay. Hang out, listen to some podcasts, read a few books, sign up for one of my small courses, do my Udemy course. That goes on sale for ridiculously low prices. Try it. When you’re ready, I’m here. I know I know you’ll end up with me eventually.
Lora Cheadle [00:49:46]:
That’s the thing. I know you will end up with me eventually. You all do. Do you know why? Because you’re all in different stages, and that’s okay. You’re honoring yourself by being where you’re at. If you’re not ready, it’s not the right time to work together. If you’re not ready, it’s not the right time. When you’re ready, that’s the right time.
Lora Cheadle [00:50:10]:
Evolution evolves at its own pace, but it always gets there in the end. You can evolve at your own pace, but you will always get there in the end. And that’s what I want you to know. You will always get there in the end. If you need time to think, think. If you need inspiration, get inspiration. If you need some education, get education. If you need time, take time.
Lora Cheadle [00:50:40]:
We’ll be together in the end. It doesn’t matter. If you wanna reach out, if you wanna talk, if you wanna ponder this, loracheadle.com, loracheadle.com.loracheadle.com.loracheadle.com. Sign up for an emergency session. You can just dive in and pick up one of the packages. I’ve got a link on the top that says a fare recovery. I’ve got 3 packages. Not hard to figure out.
Lora Cheadle [00:51:10]:
123. 1 is a fair recovery, calm, confidence, and peace along the way. The second one is after the affair, you can do it on your own or with me. And the third is rise up and reign. And that’s all of the packages and me by your side in your ear the entire way. We can pause if you need to pause. We can lean in and go faster. It doesn’t matter.
Lora Cheadle [00:51:40]:
And if you’re like, what about my partner? I do couple stuff too. We can do a couple strategy session. You can find out more about the strategy session at betrayal recoverycoach.com, and we can do a strategy session for both of you. But no matter what, this evolution chose you. This evolution chose you, and you have not been broken. You have been broken open. And here is to this next phase. Here is to your flourishing and being everything that you ever thought you could be and then some.
Lora Cheadle [00:52:27]:
LoraCheadle.com. Reach out. Let’s talk. Let’s connect. Let me prove to you if you need me to prove it to you. Let me prove to you how powerful this can be. And if you’re ready, oh, don’t wait. It’s spring.
Lora Cheadle [00:52:45]:
Let the growth begin. Have an incredible week. And as usual, always remember to FLAUNT! exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.