Can Astrology Help You Heal After Infidelity? Birth Charts, Moon Signs & Soul Lessons (with Vanya Banks)

Lora Cheadle [00:00:01]:
You're listening to Flaunt. Find your sparkle and create a life you love after Infidelity or Betrayal. A podcast for women who've been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim themselves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside, no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal Recovery toolkit@betrayalrecoveryguide.com. Have you ever wondered about what the stars might say about you and your situation? And why, after doing things right, after trying so hard, you are faced with a challenging experience such as infidelity? Well, today we have an amazing guest, Vanya Banks. She is a professional astrologer, and not only is she an astrologer, but she. She understands the psychological pieces of astrology and how it impacts.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:09]:
What I really love and appreciate about her work is she's grounded, she's real. She brings to life and embodies all of the things that I find so powerful about ritual and earth and energy and connection. And it is with such great honor and pleasure that I would like to welcome her to the show today. Today. So welcome, Vanya.

Vanja Banks [00:01:38]:
Thank you so much for that lovely introduction. Lora. I'm so happy to be here. I really enjoyed our chat on. On my podcast on Astral Bloom podcast, and I was just really excited to continue speaking with you.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:51]:
Let's kind of start right there. I know some people out there might think, well, what is astrology? And what, you're just going to read me a horoscope? And what does that even mean? So could you share a little bit more about.

Vanja Banks [00:02:05]:
Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:02:06]:
What it means and what you do and why it's so beneficial?

Vanja Banks [00:02:11]:
I think in a nutshell, the way that I see astrology is it's really an energetic language. So astrology is about studying the movement of the planets, including our sun and moon, which are called planets, but they're actually luminaries through the sky and through the different signs and understanding how these energies influence us as humans. And also just life on Earth and general. Right. They also influence plants. They influence all sorts of things. So it's about looking at those patterns, understanding the energy or the energetic language and understanding how that presents certain opportunities or challenges for you in your life. And so any moment in time can be read as an astrology chart.

Vanja Banks [00:02:58]:
And so every person has an astrology chart. So, yes, you might identify with being an Aquarius sun, but you also have all of the other signs and planets in your chart. So, yeah, that's in a nutshell, astrology. And you know, the way that we use it really is to feel empowered, I think, in our lives, you know, to understand, like, what is going on in my life, why might that be happening? What is it showing to me around my own patterns, my own subconscious mind? Where can I sort of take an empowered stance from what I know? Right. And the embodiment piece from that comes from. Yeah, living your life in alignment with that, or living your life in awareness of that.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:44]:
Yeah, a couple of words that you use that I really like. Influence. It's an influence. I mean, same thing like birth order can influence the way you show up, the way you're raised can influence the way that you show up in life, the way that you deal with life. And I think, especially in situations like my audience, where they've had some infidelity or betrayal, we want to look back and we want to see what caused this. Like, I know that it wasn't me, I know that it's not my fault, but what caused this? Why? Why might my partner have done this? What might have been some of the influences, you know, and often there's a trauma background, there's attachment issues, and then we look at ourselves. Why did I resonate with this kind of a part? What am I here to learn? And I think one of those facets is astrology. Again, not to be like, oh, he was just destined to cheat on me, because it's not that, but it's some of those deeper, like those transits.

Lora Cheadle [00:04:47]:
And then what are you here for? And what is this revealing? Okay, so like you were saying, astrology gives us kind of that, that overview, that broad level understanding. What, what does that usually look like for people? Can you say a little bit more about what is the information that people can glean from studying some of this astrology?

Vanja Banks [00:05:13]:
I mean, the possibilities are kind of endless, to be honest. But I can speak to, like, what an initial reading with me might look like. And we can totally take a look at your chart too. I would say that, you know, the traditional horoscopes that most people are aware of and, you know, like what you're describing, that's really based on your sun sign usually. So that is your, like the, you know, the month that you were born in. And that's just one facet of your chart. Right. So it's not to say that it's not accurate, it's just not incredibly precise.

Vanja Banks [00:05:45]:
It's one aspect of your psyche. Right. So that is definitely useful in its own Right. But when we look at your entire chart, you know, we can look at anything from what gives you, like, how do you shine your light? Right. What gives you energy? That's your sun sign. We can look at what patterns, what habitual patterns live in your subconscious mind that try to create safety for you. This. So this is the moon sign.

Vanja Banks [00:06:14]:
This is a lot of the lunar work that I do. It's really about working on creating safety in the nervous system, understanding where some of those automatic habitual responses, responses come in that might have happened to us or been kind of primed into us from our early childhood experiences, from our early relational experiences. And we tried to kind of understand, like, are those serving us right. And. Or are they actually disempowering us? And so we bring them into consciousness. And that's a lot of what astrology does, is it can bring up things that are just kind of running on autopilot in the back of our mind, in our psyche. There's so even just. We're talking about the big three, you know, sun, moon and rising.

Vanja Banks [00:06:57]:
Right. The rising sign then tells us, how do we see the world? How do we, you know, what really, like, steers the direction of our life. And so it can be a compass in some ways if we're feeling maybe a little bit misaligned in life, lost in life. Right. Not really sure what our purpose is. But it can also serve as this tool of understanding. Yeah. Like, how do I break the patterns that aren't serving me? Right.

Vanja Banks [00:07:22]:
How do I live more in alignment? How do I live in a more empowered way? And also, then when we look at transits, like you were mentioning, what are like, the continual patterns that keep coming up for me in this life that I'm learning and all of that kind of stuff. Does that answer your question?

Lora Cheadle [00:07:38]:
Yeah, yeah, that. That's really helpful because I know sometimes people don't really understand how it can serve them or what it means or then what to do with the. And I think that's what makes you extra magical, is your ability to help people understand what to do with it. It's not just, well, this is the sign that you were born under, so this is the way that you are. How. How do I create safety for myself? How do I break some of these patterns? It's not just that you were born under the star and you're stuck.

Vanja Banks [00:08:13]:
Yeah, no, that's definitely the way we don't want to look at it. Like, that's. That's against everything I teach.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:20]:
Yeah, exactly.

Vanja Banks [00:08:21]:
It's more like, it's more, you know, this is what you were born with. This is the lesson that your soul chose in this life. Or these are the lessons. And like, how do you actually be. How do you move towards those lessons? Right. How do you accept them as like a gift in some ways, even though they can be challenging. Right. But it's the, it's about the wisdom that we extract from the, the challenges and the pain too.

Vanja Banks [00:08:45]:
And it doesn't all have to be painful. Like, it could also be like, look at this beautiful gift that you have that you don't even realize that you have. Like live from that, you know?

Lora Cheadle [00:08:53]:
Yeah. Just like you said earlier, it's about bringing the subconscious up into our conscious awareness so we can appreciate it and understand it more.

Vanja Banks [00:09:02]:
Exactly, exactly.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:03]:
I want to talk a little bit more about some of these soul lessons, some of these soul gifts and how to recognize and extract the wisdom out of it. Because really what it is, is it's conscious living. And it's. So in our culture, we are not trained to live consciously. We're just trained to show up and wash the dishes and get a job and pay the bills and take the dog for a walk. And you know what I mean, this is such a higher level of conscious living. And. And I'd like to talk a little bit more about that.

Vanja Banks [00:09:43]:
Yeah, yeah, I love that you brought that up. I mean, I think conscious living also comes from having privilege to live consciously. Right. And I think that's the first thing that kind of came up for me because I think many of us, especially women living in this day and age, and if I look back to, you know, my ancestry and my lineage, a lot of my ancestors didn't have really the choice to live consciously. Right. They kind of did the autopilot thing. They, whatever, went to school, they had kids or they became stay at home moms or. Because it was what you did.

Vanja Banks [00:10:17]:
Right. And you didn't question it because it was the norm. And I think in today's world, women have regained so much power and reclaimed so much power that we actually now can live that way. And of course, I'm not just talking about women like, it's just as a collective. We have more choice now. And so I think that's definitely a privilege and it's one that I'm incredibly grateful to have, but it also requires a lot of courage. Because I love that saying from Carl Jung, obviously one of my favorite teachers. He said, I think I don't, don't quote the exact words, but the concept is like, until you make the conscious or the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate, right?

Lora Cheadle [00:11:03]:
Yes.

Vanja Banks [00:11:04]:
And I think it really speaks to this, this thing around, like, also when you, when you finally see something, when you see a pattern like the opposite is true, you can't unsee it. Right. And so you have to live from that place of conscious awareness and that sometimes acting from that place of like, what you have seen, what you have uncovered, what you know is the truth versus what has been programmed into your or the subconscious place you've been acting from, you then have no choice but to act differently. And that takes courage because it usually means going against maybe some conditioned belief that you had before or some idea around what your life was going to look like or all of these things. And I think astrology can be a really useful tool in that because the more you study these cycles and the more you kind of reflect on what's happening in your life, what's happening emotionally for you, what's happening under the surface, you be. You kind of align yourself to this current of truth that lives beneath the surface, and you have to act from that place because not doing so would feel fake, right?

Lora Cheadle [00:12:16]:
Yes. Yes. And I share your love of. I share your love of that quote too, because it's so powerful and just, you know, same thing in this betrayal context, which is what most people, people listening are struggling with. They didn't know about the betrayal. When the betrayal becomes conscious, they are forced to act. Suddenly their reality is not what they thought it was. And it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:42]:
It feels like they're spinning. And that's when you want to kind of grasp at some straws. What, what is true? What can I hold on to? And I, I love also the concept of fate. It's not fate. It's that it's come up and now you have a choice. And I feel like that's where some of this. Yeah, okay, what are the patterns? Now I'm understanding this. And now I do have to make a choice because otherwise it's burying my head in the sand and staying stuck.

Vanja Banks [00:13:10]:
Yeah, and when you bury your head in the sand and you stay stuck, like, it is my, you know, it's my belief that all wellness begins at the energetic level. So when we hold emotions in, when we live out of alignment with our truth, with our soul, we become like, unbalanced and sick. Like, you can literally make ourselves sick. Right? So, yeah, I just think that it's, it creates this pressure for you to have to act. Right. Whether that is an external event that happens, right? Like betrayal, like you know something else in your life, or whether it's an internal shift that you all of a sudden feel and you have an awakening, or you realize, like, I'm not living the life that I want to live or whatever it might. That is all something bringing the subconscious to the surface. In some ways.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:01]:
I really appreciate that you said privilege, too, because there are times in our life where we just have to focus and we have to just dig deep and we have to put one foot in the front of the other, and things are expected of us. And yes, now we have way more opportunities, way more choices than our ancestors did. And sometimes it's interesting because that creates an even higher burden in a different way. Because now, oh, I gotta figure it out. I'm not just Dustin to be a housewife, a nurse or a secretary. Oh, my gosh. Now the world's opened up to me, and now it feels really confusing.

Vanja Banks [00:14:39]:
Yeah, exactly. It's like almost like there's too many possibilities. I don't even know which way to go. Right.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:44]:
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's what I'd love to do, because you had taken my chart before. Let's start with the sun sign. Let's go to the moon. Let's kind of walk through it. Let's just do a little bit in each area and then just kind of talk about, like, what can you do with this kind of information and what does it mean?

Vanja Banks [00:15:05]:
Okay, yeah. So you've got an Aquarius sun, which we did talk about briefly before. And your moon sign is in Cancer, and then your rising sign is Leo. So even if we're just taking kind of this, like, Cole's notes version of your chart, right? You know, we've got Aquarius sun, conjunct, Mercury, retrograde in Aquarius. So I would say right away, whenever there's a planet next to the sun, there, There's. There's kind of like this blending of energy that happens. Right. So your sun is how you shine your light, what gives you energy.

Vanja Banks [00:15:43]:
And conjunct Mercury, meaning that they're right next to each other. Mercury is the planet of, like, expression, of speaking your truth, of also being a student, a teacher, of communication, of sharing, intellect, thought, ideas. Aquarius in and of itself is, you know, very connected. It's an air element. So it's all about networks, right? Building networks, having kind of an impact also on the collective in some ways. Aquarius wants to break free from the norm. It wants to Break out of the constructs of society in some ways and make them better, right? And so this is all about. This shows up for you in your sixth house of work and sort of daily rituals.

Vanja Banks [00:16:28]:
And so it's very ingrained in your daily life and in how you are of service to others. So you're out. You're of service to others in the ways that also give you energy and light you up, right? And you help people break out of the box, break out of the norm, think differently. You know, basically try to. Because there's also an asteroid here called Eros that's really close to your son. And Eros is about, like, passion. And he's. He's sort of like the archetype of Cupid, essentially.

Vanja Banks [00:17:02]:
So there is a lot here around, like, romantic connections and intimacy and passion. And so you're someone who does this also with passion, right? And you're someone who's really passionate about what you're. What you're offering to people and how you're showing up. And I would say that because you're Leo Rising, this kind of creates a bit of an opposition for you where, you know, Leo is all about the self. Leo is about shining your light, being your unique self, taking up space, you know, allowing yourself to be seen. It's sort of the performer. It wants to be on stage, it wants to take up space. But we're having your son on the other side of the chart tells us that, you know, sometimes it can be like entering into relationships and things like that can be destabilizing for you because sometimes there's almost like this search for yourself and others.

Vanja Banks [00:17:59]:
And I mean, everyone has that right. We meet people and we're like, oh, you're my missing piece kind of energy. But for you, like, there can be this maybe shadow, you know, behavior that comes up where it's like an element of maybe codependency or like losing a sense of self in the other. And so that's something you want to be aware of, right, in your relationships, in. In intimate connections as well. And the other aspect of being a Leo Rising, you know, like I mentioned, a lot of the gifts of Leo are like, leadership and being brave and courageous and kind of like taking up space. But the other element is also, you know, performing to be seen, right? And seeking external validation to feel seen, to feel important. And so every sign has its light and its shadow, its gift.

Vanja Banks [00:18:52]:
And it's sort of, you know, more low vibrational energies that we want to be aware of so that we can choose the Light. Right. So you can live from the high vibration. Yeah, yeah. So I would like kind of. That's first thing that hits me when I look at your rising in your son. And then if we take a look at your moon. The moon is sort of my.

Vanja Banks [00:19:14]:
My first love in astrology.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:17]:
Yep.

Vanja Banks [00:19:19]:
Because the moon is how I kind of found my way back to myself. There was this whole other part of me that I realized I was ignoring for a really long time. And I was wondering why I was so uncertain of who I was or what I wanted in life. Really. Yeah. And it was the missing piece. So the moon in cancer. First of all, the moon is at home in cancer.

Vanja Banks [00:19:42]:
So it's quite strong there. So that tells me strong intuition, strong connection to also just that water element of, like, feeling of being connected to the undercurrent of life. Like, the things that aren't necessarily seen, but they are felt. Cancer is also the mother. And so it's just the archetype of the mother. And so that means that there's really this nurturing quality. Right. That comes through in.

Vanja Banks [00:20:08]:
Specifically in your. In the way that you serve the collective and in your friendships and your communities. Because your moon is in the 11th house, which is all about friendships, wider kind of human community. Yeah. Just your experience of, like, networks. And, you know, the moon is also, like I mentioned before, it's. It's more of this, like, autonom. Autonomic nervous system part of us.

Vanja Banks [00:20:34]:
If the sun is conscious, it's how we consciously shine our light. The moon is the undercurrent. And it's more what Carl Young called, you know, the subconscious mind. And so the moon actually tells us how we might have experienced the mothering energy growing up or the nurturing energy growing up. And what we need then to. To create safety for ourselves on kind of an internal level. And so moon in cancer does need. It needs to feel safe expressing its emotion or feeling its emotion, riding the wave of emotion.

Vanja Banks [00:21:11]:
Because like the. The ocean that it's connected to, you know, the crab has its little shell, carries its home with it, but it's. It. It has to be able to ride these waves and contain them in this hard shell. So sometimes, you know, cancer energy can be so sensitive that it takes on, like, a lot from other people. And we need to remember to have boundaries. We need to remember that our other people's feelings are not our own. Right.

Vanja Banks [00:21:40]:
And also we need to remember not to close ourselves off entirely, too, when we are hurt or. Or provoked so that we don't like Crawl into our little shell and hide. Right. So there's a lot here around boundaries and learning how to stay open but not allow the world to just like, permeate into us. Right. And not close ourselves off so much that we don't let anything in either.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:07]:
Right.

Vanja Banks [00:22:08]:
And I would say the. A lot of the other thing with cancer to, to be mindful of too, is, you know, there is this really beautiful gift that you have of like, being this nurturer, taking care of others, anticipating other people's needs before they even know that they need. That they need something. But when we do that constantly and we don't treat ourselves the same way. Right. We can forget to take care of ourselves. And so there's a. There's that to be aware of, like giving versus receiving.

Vanja Banks [00:22:38]:
You know, is it safe for you to receive also care and nurturing and not just feel like you're the one that always has to provide it? And so this can mirror, like I mentioned, maybe the mother or the mother archetype growing up. Right. The experience of that energy and what you learned and how you learned to. To be in this more feminine yin. Subconscious energy yourself. I'll pause. I'll pause there in case.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:05]:
No, I. I love, I love that. Thank you so much for that. There's a few things around that when you talk about, you know, cancer and mothering and giving and nurturing to others and boundaries. What I can take away from that then is permission. I do have permission to do it for myself.

Vanja Banks [00:23:27]:
Exactly.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:28]:
And again, that's. To me, that's one of those gifts. It's like I can reject that. I can say that's just who I am and I am just going to keep giving and. No, no, no, no, no. I don't need a thing. I'm just fine. My boundaries are fine and I don't need anymore.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:45]:
You know what I mean? Like, but that, that's. That subconscious. That is that undercurrent, that, that is that shadow side of that. Yes. I need to take care of myself more. How I empower myself is, wow, I got the reminder and I have permission to do that. So thank you for the reminder on that.

Vanja Banks [00:24:09]:
You're welcome.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:11]:
You're welcome. And then similarly, on the Leo side, and I think my listeners know this because I talk a lot about performance versus presence. And in fact, a show that I released a couple weeks ago was on the difference of. With performance and perf. Presence, especially going into the holiday season.

Vanja Banks [00:24:33]:
Yeah, yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:35]:
You know, we want to create the magical holidays, and it's like Then we wonder, why am I not feeling the love? Well, I've performed.

Vanja Banks [00:24:47]:
Yeah. What is actually coming out of you authentically versus where are you reaching for something? Where are you reaching for validation? Where are you reaching to be seen? It's something I definitely have been learning a lot of recently, too. My own nodes in astrology are actually in Aquarius and Leo. So my north node, which is what I'm learning, where I'm going is Aquarius, and my south node is in Leo. So the south node is your past lives and your gifts, but also a lot of the shadows you pick up of that sign. And it is a lifelong lesson for me to take a step back, you know, and look at, like, am I doing this because it's authentic to me, or am I doing it because I think it will give me the validation, the praise, the attention that. That I crave, you know? So I think that's very in alignment with the presence versus performance piece of that.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:41]:
Yeah, absolutely. And what I want to point out on that piece, too, is it took me a long time to see. You know what I mean? It's one of those things that things would kind of come up and I'd be like, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm not in performance mode. I'm just a perfectionist.

Vanja Banks [00:25:57]:
Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:57]:
You know what I mean? And it takes a while sometimes to see our shadows. And that's okay, too.

Vanja Banks [00:26:03]:
I was just gonna say, because you did ask, you know, how do you then, like, what do you take away from this information? Right? How do you integrate it into. What do you do with it? Right? So I think a lot of the times when I do a reading for someone, initially, it's about opening the door to the subconscious is. Is the way that I see it. And so it's that aspect that we were just talking about around what you now see, right. Either gives you permission to. To. To follow a certain path, to act a certain way, to show up differently, you know, but it also maybe brings up things that you weren't quite aware of. And then that starts to maybe turn some things right, that.

Vanja Banks [00:26:41]:
That initiates potentially something new for you. Something new might emerge as a result of that within your subconscious. But then also, there are practical things that you can literally do to work with planetary energy. So a lot of my work that I really love to incorporate is even just balancing the elements in your chart. Learning to work with certain signs and certain elements. And so, for example, one of the ways that I first got started with, you know, when I first got Started doing readings. I was really focusing on the moon and helping people create like ritual and practice self care and calm and suit their nervous system and practice nervous system regulation through their moon sign. So I had these little like self care menus that I would come up with for each client.

Vanja Banks [00:27:26]:
And you know, your moon in cancer, if we just take that, even loves to be around water, you know, loves to maybe like baths would be huge. So Epsom salt baths, allowing water to be a healing presence for you. Also, working with water means working also with your emotions, right? And with that, like felt an intuitive part of self with the feminine. So it's like leaning into that, whatever that looks like for you, right? Giving yourself space to feel, giving yourself space to connect your intuition. It can also mean working with a lot of kind of ancestral energy, matrilineal type, you know, energy. So it can be reconnecting with your ancestors in some way, can be looking at patterns from your ancestry, especially of the women in your ancestral line. And when we talk about the energy and the boundary setting aspect of it, it's like energetic hygiene is so important with any water moon, it's setting energetic boundaries, it's doing reiki, cord cutting rituals, you know, all of that. So, yeah, those are just some ways that even just one placement in your chart, if you said, you know, I'm feeling really like in my masculine, I'm working all the time.

Vanja Banks [00:28:48]:
I'm feeling like I'm not really giving myself time to be. I'm feeling dysregulated, I'm feeling stressed out. We want to lean into the moon and those are ways that we would do it based on your specific chart.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:00]:
Right? And I love the emphasis on your specific chart because, you know, people are like, I want to heal, I want to heal from this. I want to get better. But we all heal differently. And so often people will say, like, well, I've seen a therapist and it's not working. You know what I mean? Or like, I'm doing this and it's not working. Or I tried Reiki, but I didn't like it and I tried. But that's because we're all different and we all heal differently and sometimes we don't know what we don't know until we try it, you know? And like, you're right. I've got a hot tub.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:32]:
I love the baths. I love the ocean. I need that water. But there are people too, who are like, I hate that. I don't want to sit in a bath of my own filth. That's disgusting.

Vanja Banks [00:29:44]:
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:46]:
It doesn't have to be. There's not one way to do it. And finding the unique, the unique way bodies for us. Yeah, that's, that's pure alchemy right there.

Vanja Banks [00:29:57]:
Exactly. And I think, you know, tying it back to what most of your listeners are dealing with, you know, with betrayal and with, you know, this big rupture in their lives, the moon is actually the perfect place to come back to because it's like healing all those childhood wounds of like that come up in our relational patterns. It's about finding, rooting in yourself and finding that sense security in yourself again. Because of course, when you've been in a relationship, no matter the length, you know, when you've been in an intimate relationship and something like that happens, there is a loss of like, self. That happens in some ways totally. You know, whether. Whether or not you have codependent tendencies or whatnot, you become one with that person that you're with. And so the, the self regulation aspect of it.

Vanja Banks [00:30:46]:
Right. You really need to relearn that again. You need to relearn how to self soothe. Because normally you would be reaching towards your partner for, you know, sometimes for things like that, for court regulation, for presence, for whatever it might be during those difficult times. And when something like betrayal comes up, it's like you can feel really alone in that process. And so it's about becoming like the parent for your inner child and for that part of you that is hurting and that needs the comfort. And you can really do that through your moon sign. You're connecting to that energy in your chart.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:23]:
Yeah, through that understanding. Because it is nervousness, system regulation. And when I can't regulate my nervous system in the ways that I have normally regulated it, then what? It's hard. And you talked about north node and south node. And I love when you, when you explained your lesson like your lifelong lesson, because I think that also just provides context to experiences. It's not, I am a victim of circumstance. He did this to me. They did this to me.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:56]:
Oh my God. What. What did I do wrong? This is karma. It's this lesson. And then it gives that frame. How can I move forward with this lesson in mind? It's not that you have to, but again, it's how can I. And what might this be teaching me about my solar lesson?

Vanja Banks [00:32:18]:
Exactly. And I think, you know, a lot of people when we talk about the north and south node, like everyone's got them in their chart. I was just looking at yours. Yours are in Aries and Libra which I can definitely dive into because it's so on point. But this north and south node are these two very. Not to get too technical about it, but essentially they're something that's used in spiritual astrology and everyone has them in their chart. And people that are born around the same time as you, within kind of like a two and a half year mark, have the same nodes. They're always an opposing sign.

Vanja Banks [00:32:50]:
So there's always a South node and a North node. And the north node, like I mentioned, is what we're reaching towards. It's what we're learning. And the south node is where we're coming from. And maybe some of the shadow tendencies we also have to recognize and transform. Transform. But what this tells us is, you know, how do we actually raise the vibration of our south node? A lot of people talk about the south node in the way that it's like you have to completely forget about it, you know, move away from that energy, move towards the north node. But actually the whole concept of opposing signs in astrology or any polar opposites in the universe, Yin Yang, you know, it comes back to that, to Daoism, is that the fact that, like, the seed of the polar opposite is contained within that thing.

Vanja Banks [00:33:36]:
And so actually to move towards our north node, we have to raise our south node to the highest vibration and vice versa, right? Like, we can't have one without the other. So for me that means, yes, I do have to be someone who is a leader. I have to take up the space. I have to, you know, share my authentic truth and my light with others. But I have to do it in service of the collective, not in service of my own ego or my own thing.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:11]:
Yes, yes.

Vanja Banks [00:34:12]:
And so for you, you've got your nodes in Aries and Libra, and so your north node is in Aries, and it's in the eighth house of, like, Scorpio Energy, which is intimacy, sex, transformation, death and rebirth. Like, it's like the deep subconscious. The south node is in Libra, in the second house. So this is. This is an axis of relationships, right? Libra is all about finding harmony, finding balance in relation to another. And Aries is all about being our independent selves, you know, being able to maintain our independence within partnership. And so the South Node of Libra has this beautiful gift of showing up in relationships, being able to create harmony, being able to create beautiful connections with people from all walks of life. But in that second house, to its very attachment, it attaches itself worth to the relationships that it is in and the shadow expression of Libra is also losing one sense of self within relationship.

Vanja Banks [00:35:25]:
People pleasing. Right, right. Fawn response, that kind of energy. And in order to move towards that north node in Aries, we have to recognize that, yes, we need, we need relationships in our lives. We're social beings, right. We want connection, what partnership. But how do we maintain our authenticity and our independence through that process and our autonomy, Right. And our connection to our creative and sexual energy, that eighth house.

Vanja Banks [00:35:58]:
And do that without abandoning the self. Right. So it's the classic attachment versus authenticity activity. Actually, access is Aries and Libra. So how have you learned in the past that you might need to abandon your authenticity to maintain connection or vice versa? Have you learned that you don't even want to let connection into your life because it means abandoning a part of your authenticity or your independence, your autonomy?

Lora Cheadle [00:36:29]:
Right.

Vanja Banks [00:36:29]:
So it's about finding that balance.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:31]:
Right. I love that. And, and I love what you said too about like, the seed is in it. Because with whatever it is, if we want to be healthily attached, I feel like we need to understand the whole gamut of that unhealthy attachment, you know, being left abandoned. Like, we need to understand it's that whole polarity, everything along that line. And it's not, oh my God, how stupid was I? And blah, blah, blah, it's, wow, I've experienced this and now I'm moving to another realm to experience that. And how can I encompass the whole? Because it is exactly the whole.

Vanja Banks [00:37:14]:
Exactly. You have to swing to both extremes to find the balance. Right. Like whenever, I don't know, you swing the pendulum, right. Like it has to go both ways before it kind of starts, settles in the middle. So it's. That's exactly what this is. And that's any polarity that we have in our chart.

Vanja Banks [00:37:29]:
But for you, this is a pretty prominent polarity. So yes, there's a lot here around intimacy, around understanding intimate relationships, around reclaiming your power within relationships. Right. And also knowing, like, where is that balance for you? And it's interesting because we're going to have Saturn moving into Aries for good in, in this following year. And then we also have Neptune moving into Aries. So I expect there's going to be a lot of, like, even more growth for you in that, in that house and in that north node because you're going to be really asked to step into that Aries energy. And there might be more themes around attachment and authenticity that come up for you that you have to kind of unpack and Learn a new level of right.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:15]:
Yeah.

Vanja Banks [00:38:15]:
And it's really asking you to be in that north node and to like, maintain that autonomy, that independence, while also seeing, like, what relationships are still serving you on that path.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:28]:
Right, right. And see, just. Just having that understanding, that level of awareness, looking forward. It would be so easy, I think, if, if there's a challenge to start second guessing yourself, oh, my God, maybe I'm doing the wrong thing and this didn't work and why was I. But having just that level of overarching understanding, it can calm the nervous system. It can be, oh, this might be something to expect. I didn't screw up. You know, these last eight years weren't a mistake.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:03]:
This isn't, it's. It's just that security that, oh, how can I lean into this? What might there be for me to unpack? How can I go deeper? Huh? To me, astrology gives that layer of curiosity too.

Vanja Banks [00:39:21]:
Exactly.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:22]:
What could this be?

Vanja Banks [00:39:24]:
Exactly. And also knowing, like, okay, Saturn. You know, a lot of people demonize Saturn. He's kind of the, you know, karmic daddy of astrology. But the thing is, Saturn also is the pressure that creates diamonds. So things might feel slow, things might feel a little heavy. It might feel like some things are dissolving. And like there's a bit of a lack of clarity too, because Neptune's in the mix.

Vanja Banks [00:39:46]:
They're meeting up in Aries in February and this is like a pretty prominent meeting. It doesn't happen very often. Right. So things might feel like they're moving slowly. Things are uncertain, you know, in that area of your life. And at the same time, it's like having that awareness, it's like, okay, well, maybe I won't have clarity until Saturn leaves this sign. In two and a half years, it might be. You'll get pieces of it, but until the whole transit is complete, you might not necessarily know what all these lessons are and how to extract the wisdom and how to move forward.

Vanja Banks [00:40:21]:
But you can. Having that awareness helps take the pressure off. Right?

Lora Cheadle [00:40:25]:
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It gives the peace, it gives the understanding.

Vanja Banks [00:40:29]:
Yeah, yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:30]:
And I know this is coming up for people too, and I just want you to explain, talk about some of that compatibility and what this really means because it is so much more than, oh, it's a 9, 5 relationship. And this is so cool. Talk a little bit more about how can people honestly use astrology to help them understand kids, romantic partners, friendships, bosses, co workers, anything like that.

Vanja Banks [00:40:59]:
Yeah, I mean, I'm a firm believer in, you know, there isn't necessarily like one soulmate for you in your life, but you're talking about romantic relationships. I think that there are people that are important in your life, and they might be a moment. They might be a blip on the radar, they might be a lifelong partner, they might be a lifelong friend. They might be a blip on the radar friend. And I think it all kind of comes back to again, like, what are these people teaching you? Is this a lesson that you want to learn right now, or are you done learning this lesson? And what are these people illuminating in yourself too? Because relationships are a mirror to the unseen parts of self, and whether that is a shadow part of self that, you know, maybe we don't really want to admit or. Or take on as ourselves or whether it is a latent gift that we have forgotten about. I think that's the way that I like to look at synastry, which is what you're speaking to the compatibility charts. And yes, of course there's going to be, you know, when we look at synastry charts, there's.

Vanja Banks [00:42:03]:
We want to look like if we. If we know that someone is like a profound connection for you, whether it is platonic, romantic, etc. There's going to be multiple. What's called introspects. So introspects are, you know, personal planets, like the sun, moon, Mercury, Mars, Venus, and the nodes touching each other. Right. So usually conjunct one another or opposite one another. And so when there's like, a lot of those touch points we already know.

Vanja Banks [00:42:29]:
Okay, this is a significant relationship, and this is what this person is illuminating in you, and this is what they're teaching you. This is what you're teaching them. And that can be the case for. Yeah. Your kids. It often is.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:41]:
Oh, yeah.

Vanja Banks [00:42:41]:
When you look at family charts, it's a whole other thing. Like, it. It's wild. Right. Oftentimes it's like the moon. Your moon sign is your mom's sun sign or your dad's sun sign. All of these things happen because we're born into family systems that are meant to awaken certain parts of us and similarly, with the people that come into your lives. So it's not as black and white as, like, you're.

Vanja Banks [00:43:10]:
You know, you're a Virgo. So you're never going to get along with a Gemini because. Right. That's. No, it's. It's not that. It's not that easy. You know, it's.

Vanja Banks [00:43:18]:
It's. It's a whole chart, and we need to look at the Complexities of it. And also take it with a grain of salt and take it in accordance with also like our own intuition and our own experience and, and what we're willing to still keep learning in this life and how we want to engage with that person. So, yeah, I hope that answers your question.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:40]:
Yeah, that, that absolutely did. Because I know that something that sometimes has come up for people, they're like, I just don't know if this is meant to be. Can you look at this? And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, it truly is about you and what are you willing to do and what are they willing to do and what is the right timing? There's so many factors because this is the thing.

Vanja Banks [00:44:01]:
You might have an amazing connection with someone and the charts might say like, yes, this is a really significant soul connection. But timelines might not align. You know, I feel like I had a experience recently like that. It was like just life timelines are not in alignment and you have to surrender and let go and see what happens. You know, maybe there's another time where it does come into. Into light again. And you don't know that. Right.

Vanja Banks [00:44:28]:
So, yeah, I think a lot of it is looking a little bit deeper beneath the surface. And yeah, that's something I've definitely done for clients before, is taken a look at synastry charts and understood the dynamics even within family units and how to, you know, how both parents can maybe support the child or even relocation. Astrology is another one where people have been like, okay, we want to move as a family unit. So like, where, you know, where, where is there a place that actually works for all of us versus just for me? Right, yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:03]:
And again, with a grain of salt.

Vanja Banks [00:45:06]:
Yeah, you still have. You still have free will.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:08]:
Exactly, exactly. But it can help you understand.

Vanja Banks [00:45:12]:
Exactly. Yeah. It's about having the awareness. Right. And then being able to choose consciously. Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:18]:
You know, we're. This is astrology. It's the cycle of the moon. And like you said at the beginning, the moon, the planets, the seasons, they all govern things on the planet. The tides, the seas. It's, it's. We're so connected to it. And I think especially in modern society, we just forget.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:38]:
And I'm curious, what does ritual mean to you?

Vanja Banks [00:45:45]:
Yeah, very, very loaded question. But I think the answer is quite simple, actually. I like to simplify ritual and really just explain it as a way of doing anything that could be just an everyday thing. So drinking a tea, having a bath, taking a walk in the forest, anything that is completely ordinary. But is done with intention or awareness and presence. Right? So when I take my walk, I pause and I look at plants and I ponder on the meaning of these plants, maybe even. Right, like, why is this. Why do I keep noticing this plant all of a sudden? What does it.

Vanja Banks [00:46:26]:
What does its energy tell me? What does it mean for me? I take in the water, the river, the lake, the. The ocean. I feel how it feels on my skin or I admire it. Right. I take in the sense I have my tea with some kind of intention or maybe while I'm journaling or something like that that, you know, just. It's about creating space to really be in the moment with whatever it is that you're doing. So ritual can be quite simple, in my opinion.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:58]:
Yeah, I love that because I feel like everything that we've talked about today is really about living below the surface. How. How do you live below the surface to really eek out that joy or to fully process that grief or confusion. And you're right. Whether it's just having the intention to notice as you're taking a walk or whether it is using astrology to be like, what is deeper here that I might be missing? It's about living deeper, I would say.

Vanja Banks [00:47:29]:
It's about bringing magic to the mundane. Right. Like, how do I make my morning coffee a little bit more spiritual or witchy? And that's actually the energy we're all being invited into right now with the North Node being in Pisces, in the South Node, in Virgo, it's all about Virgos, the practical and the everyday. And Pisces is like the. The extraordinary and kind of the unseen and the magical. And so we're trying to find that balance between those two and understanding how do we actually make the. The everyday magical, and how do we leave room for surprises and surrender and trusting the universe and having hope that there is more than meets the eye. Right.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:14]:
I love that. So you said that is the energy that is right now. So explain. Is that for everybody, regardless of your birth sign?

Vanja Banks [00:48:23]:
Exactly. So we've had the north and south node in Virgo and Pisces. So north node is in Pisces, where we're moving towards, and south node is in Virgo, what we're leaving behind, but also raising to the highest vibration. And we've had that energy since beginning of last year. Year they shifted into those signs in January and then so our eclipse seasons in the spring and in the fall and then again this spring are in those signs. And so we're all learning these Lessons around control, Virgo, precision, discernment. Right. The seen, the practical and Pisces the unseen, the, the felt, the mystical, the inexplainable.

Vanja Banks [00:49:05]:
Right. And also like surrendering into the current and into what the universe or what the divine has in store for us without necessarily knowing what that is. Right. We have to. We don't know what we don't know. And so collectively we are all learning those lessons. But I would say anyone that has significant Virgo placements, Pisces placements, Gemini and Sagittarius is more so learning those lessons. That makes sense.

Vanja Banks [00:49:35]:
And they might have huge life transitions around this time too. Especially in the spring and in the fall when we have eclipse seasons. Certain patterns coming up around, releasing control, releasing perfectionism, the need to know what is going to come of something and just being asked to step into the unknown. So yeah, it is something that's happening collectively.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:57]:
I love that. So people could look back at a certain time frame or a certain area of their life and say like, oh my gosh, 2018 just rocked my world. Or 2012, oh, what happened there? So they can use astrology also to look back and be like, this was.

Vanja Banks [00:50:13]:
The collective lesson 100%. So especially with eclipse seasons, we know that 18 years ago we had the nodes in the same sign. So 18 years from 2024, a two and a half year mark, roughly, we had the nodes in Virgo and Pisces. And so we can look back and say, what was I learning back then around these themes that I just mentioned? And how is that showing up in my life now? Probably in a different way, but like still similar undercurrent, you know? And how have I grown since then? Have I learned how to surrender and how to step into the unknown and trust that things are going to work out the way they're meant to, even though I might not know right now. Yeah. So that's a huge way that I use astrology is tracking patterns back and understanding how to work with them in the present.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:02]:
Yeah, that's huge. That's really huge. And then it's like, well, okay, I learned this much, but now I'm a different person, I'm more mature. I've got some lessons under my belt, I can move forward into that.

Vanja Banks [00:51:14]:
Exactly.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:15]:
So how often do patterns tend to cycle or does that depend on the planet?

Vanja Banks [00:51:20]:
It depends on the planet for sure. So yeah, moon changes signs every two and a half days, but the cycle itself is a four week cycle. But the moon also has six month cycles, so the eclipses often work in six month cycles, the sun as you know, 30 days, also 365 days. And then we can go as far as like, okay, Saturn is two and a half years, but then the nodes are around one and a half years. And then there's other planets that we never see the full cycle of because they move so slowly. Right. Pluto, Uranus, Neptune. We're never going to actually see a whole cycle in our lifetime because Pluto takes 200 and something odd years to move through the whole zodiac sign.

Vanja Banks [00:52:00]:
Right. So unless you're some kind of wizard, you're not going to live that long. So, yeah, there's. It depends, but it's definitely, you know, there's tons of planets that work with cycles that we can very realistically understand and work with consciously within our lifetime. And that's where astrology is so impactful, is when we start to notice these patterns.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:25]:
Right. And then my last question for you, because I know a lot of listeners will ask this. We hear so much about Mercury retrograde. Oh my gosh, we're in Mercury. What the heck is Mercury retrograde? And how would we work with that?

Vanja Banks [00:52:41]:
Yeah. So it's funny you're asking that because Mercury is currently retrograde. Yeah. So honestly, I think Mercury retrograde is one of those things that has just been blown up by like pop astrology. What I like to call the reality is, is that all planets go retrograde at some point throughout the year. We have multiple planets in our retrograde right now, including Mercury. And retrogrades are really just a different way of planets functioning in their energy. So they seem to be moving backwards from our view on Earth just because of the way the elliptical is and where we're positioned in the solar system.

Vanja Banks [00:53:16]:
When a planet is retrograde, it means that from our view on Earth, it looks like it's moving backwards instead of forwards. And so what retrogrades in general are is a way of kind of turning. The energy turns within, it goes more inward. So it's more about. It's a time of reassessment, realignment, review. Right. It's going, taking two steps back before we move forward. And so Mercury retrograde because Mercury rules communication, technology, thought, intellect, ideas, all that kind of stuff, writing, speaking, expressing.

Vanja Banks [00:53:51]:
Mercury retrograde is actually a time where, yes, maybe we're cautioned to like, don't sign contracts, don't do this, don't do that. I would say if it's been, if it's something that's been brewing under the surface for a long time, do it. But just like be Aware, right. Be aware that this is happening during retrograde, where you're actually being asked to review, reassess, realign. Is it something that's still in alignment with you? Maybe sit with that, maybe take an extra look at something if you're signing a piece of paper, you know, But I think it's just. I think a lot of the time people talk about it in a really disempowering way, and it actually really irritates me. Right. Because it's.

Vanja Banks [00:54:31]:
It's because you're just, like, giving your power away and saying, like, oh, well, Mercury's retrograde, so I can't do this and I can't do that, and we're just blaming Mercury for everything. But it's more just like, this is actually just a time to reassess. So just take. Take a little bit of a step back. And interestingly enough, you know, you have your natal Mercury in retrograde, as do I. Mine's in Libra. And I actually think that most of my really productive writing and content creation comes during retrogrades. And so a lot of people that have natal Mercury retrograde, this is actually more of a natural time for you to maybe create, actually to go within, to work on ideas that maybe you've been sitting with for a while and kind of be in your own intellectual world.

Vanja Banks [00:55:18]:
Right. So, yeah, that's the way I see Mercury retrograde.

Lora Cheadle [00:55:23]:
I love that. And definitely it's that empowerment piece. I know my son, we've done some Vedic astrology readings, and at one point he was told, and I forget exactly what it was, but he's like, because of this one thing in your chart right now, every single time you communicate, you're gonna need to do it twice because it's going to get lost. And instead of the energy of, like, oh, my God, I have to do it twice. It was when he was graduating high school and applying to colleges, I kid you not. Every single application, he had to do twice because it would get lost the first time. And again, it was like, well, I expect this. So it's empowering and it feels great.

Vanja Banks [00:56:01]:
Exactly. And right now, Mercury's in Scorpio. So it is about, like, going into our psyche, into our shadows, right? Like, maybe some shadows are rearing their heads that you thought you dealt with, but you've got to look at them a different way now. Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:56:15]:
Yeah. I love it. Well, Vanya, thank you so much. I feel like I could just talk all day. I love your presence. I love your energy. I love what you say. And just yeah, the whole, the whole collective understanding of what astrology is and how it impacts us and how it empowers us to see things differently.

Lora Cheadle [00:56:33]:
And where can listeners reach out to learn more about you?

Vanja Banks [00:56:38]:
Yeah, of course. So I'm very active on Instagram. My handle is Astrobloom Ca and my website is also astrobloom Ca. So it's pretty easy. It might be a little bit glitchy. Like I said, I don't know when the episode's gonna air, but it's currently being revamped. But those are usually the best ways to reach me. And yeah, I really look forward to seeing what people have to say about our conversation.

Vanja Banks [00:57:01]:
Like you said, I could talk to you forever.

Lora Cheadle [00:57:04]:
Exactly. Well, thank you, listeners. I hope this brought a little bit of illumination, pun intended, to who you are and to what you might be experiencing, as well as to the world and what is going on for all of us on a collective level. Have an incredible week. And as usual, always remember to flaunt exactly who you are, because who you are is always more than enough. Tune in next time to flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after Infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7am and 7pm Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision 7 radio network. Uncover the truth of what's possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal Recovery toolkit@betrayalrecoveryguide.com.