Have you been so focused on one thing that everything else falls apart? If so, you are not alone. Instead of either/or thinking (scarcity), this episode focuses on both/and thinking, and the power of making a choice.

Life, health, and business coach Sara Allen sits down with Lora for a practical and inspiring discussion on how to create the next chapter of your life with intention and calm.

 

BONUS! Join Lora and Sara for the free Unite to Ignite Summit at https://link.unite2ignite.com/Cheadle

Use Code “5OFF” for $5 the Extended VIP upgrade!

Top Takeaways:

1. The Awareness Wheel, a healthy communication framework that keeps you and the person you are communicating with grounded, centered, and able to hear and receive what’s being said.
2. A Mental Rehearsal meditation and how preparing for your future by visualizing yourself in that future creates calm and acceptance so you can release resistance, get unstuck and move forward.
3. Woundology, and why your biography creates your biology. and the body is a mirror of your thoughts and beliefs.

Tired of Feeling Broken? Get Relief Now!

Work individually with Lora or complete her online Rise Up & Reign Affair Recovery Program in the privacy of your own home. Learn more at www.AffairRecoveryForWomen.com

About Sara

Sara is the creator of Believable Coaching and Love Life Again, programs designed to get you in touch with your purpose and give you the mentorship, community and tools to bring it to life. She holds a master’s degree in public communication with a public health focus from American University, a bachelor’s degree in religion and women’s studies from Duke University, and a dual health and life coaching certification from the Health Coach Institute.

Learn more and download your free gift at www.believablecoaching.com

 

About Lora

Attorney, speaker, and Burnout & Betrayal Recovery Coach, Lora Cheadle believes that betrayal uncovers the truth of what’s possible when we stop focusing on what was done to us and start showing up unapologetically for ourselves. She helps women rebuild their identity and self-worth after infidelity so they can reclaim (or find for the very first time) their confidence, clarity, and connection to source and create their own kind of happily ever after.

 

Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile! Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

 

 

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Purchase Lora’s book, FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self on Amazon, IndieBound or wherever books are sold.

 

 

 

Transcript

 

Narrator [00:00:01]:
You’re listening to flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. A podcast for women who’ve been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim themselves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.

Narrator [00:00:34]:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Have you been struggling lately? Relationship issues impact every area of your life. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I was so devastated. I could barely function. Sleeping was impossible because I couldn’t shut off my brain. Eating was a challenge because I felt nauseous all the time, and for the 1st month or so, everything felt pointless. Whether you’re having trouble sleeping, feeling hopeless, or just can’t focus, BetterHelp is here to help you. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who are trained to listen and help.

Narrator [00:01:12]:
You can talk to your therapist in a private online environment at your convenience. There’s a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp’s 20,000 plus therapist network that gives you access to help that might not be available in your area. Just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you’ll be matched with a therapist in under 24 hours. Then you can schedule secure video and phone sessions. Plus, you can exchange unlimited messages, and everything you share is completely confidential. I know that confidentiality was important for me, especially early on when I couldn’t even get my own mind wrapped around what was happening. And it was so comforting to be able to speak with someone candidly about everything I was going through, to validate that what I was feeling and experiencing was completely normal. You can request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime.

Narrator [00:02:07]:
Join the 2,000,000 plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with an experienced BetterHelp therapist. Special offer to flaunt, create a life you love after infidelity and betrayal listeners. You get 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/flaunt. That’s better help, help.com/flauntflaunt. Thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast. Hello and welcome to FLAWNT, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Lora Cheadle and Sarah Allen is my guest today. And we’re definitely gonna talk a little bit about her and a summit that she’s got coming up that I am so excited.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:10]:
Not only am I a participant in the summit, but I am opening the summit. I am the 1st presenter in the summit, and we’ll tell you all about that later. But why I invited Sarah to be on the show, was for several reasons. Like me, she is a coach. She is a life, health, and a business coach, but there were a few things about her that I really wanted you to learn. First of all, she was talking a lot about how sometimes when we put all of our energy into one thing, like healing our marriage, like finding romance, the business side of things starts to fall away. Or when we’re like, yes. I’m gonna go back to school.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:55]:
I’m gonna, you know, start a new business. I’m gonna do this blah blah blah blah blah. Then it takes all of our energy and then our romance and our relationships start falling away. And what she was saying is, you know what? It doesn’t have to be that way. We can hold space for all of it. And I thought, you know, that is something I really want to talk about because like me, I know you’re struggling with this healing from infidelity, and it does take a lot of energy. And I’m not discounting that it takes energy, but you know what? Let’s expand. Let’s exhale.

Narrator [00:04:33]:
Let’s make some space for more. Let’s talk about, in particular, three things we’re gonna talk about today. A healthy communication framework because when we communicate healthily, it makes space and it expands us. We’re going to talk about mental rehearsal for difficult situations and we are going to talk about woundology. And that’s where those emotional wounds start impacting our physical bodies. So that’s the little layout of today’s show. And with that, welcome, Sarah. I am so excited to have you here.

Sara Allen [00:05:13]:
Thank you, Lora. It’s all my pleasure to meet you and be on your show.

Narrator [00:05:18]:
So let’s start by talking a little bit about healthy communication frameworks because, really, communication is the foundation of everything, whether it’s life and business or life and relationships or just life. So tell us a little bit about healthy communication framework and your work around communication and just all things communication.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:41]:
I love that. Well, you know, it’s easy to say we need good communication, but what does that look like? There’s so many frameworks and tools out there, and it was probably over 10 years ago that my own mentor, doctor Beth Couje, taught me about this framework, called the awareness wheel. And it was adapted from some other folks, named Miller, Wachman, Natalie, and Celine. I like to give credit where credit due. But she took this framework and hooked it into the 4, 4 areas of how we show up. So our body, our mind, our emotions, and then our will with just the choices that come out of that. And the awareness wheel is beautiful because it can really help to deescalate a difficult conversation. So when emotions are running high, we tend to disconnect from our body.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:33]:
And I love this wheel because it connects all four pieces, to what’s coming out of our mouth. And so I’d love to walk you your audience through to that if you if that would

Narrator [00:06:44]:
be helpful. Yeah. Absolutely. Because you’re right. We do disconnect. We’re like, blah blah blah. I gotta get my point across. I gotta get my point across.

Narrator [00:06:52]:
I’m not being heard. I’m so and, yeah, it doesn’t help.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:56]:
Yeah. And any one of those parts of us can hijack our communications. Right? If our body is not feeling good or we’re in pain I have a friend who is dealing with a lot of pain right now. She’s just kinda grumpy and doesn’t communicate well. Or if our emotions are we were in fight, flight, or freeze and our emotions have us in a a state of crazy, we can’t communicate well. So the way the awareness wheel starts is with the body, and you wanna always start I’m gonna give you 4, phrases that you can use, and each one is attached to those four things that I just named. So with the body, you could say, this is what you’re observing in the other person. When I see the look on your face, when I hear your voice rising, when I, taste the burned dinner.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:43]:
When you’re really in touch with your senses, you could use any of the 5 senses there, and you make a statement of what you are observing. And for those of you familiar with nonviolent communication, Marshall Rosenberg, this is very similar. It’s what you observe. There’s no judgment. It’s just the facts. The second the second statement you’re gonna make in the awareness field is around your mind, your thoughts. So a lot of people confuse thoughts with feelings. They may say, I feel that so anytime you’re saying I feel that, it’s probably not a feeling.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:21]:
It’s probably an emotion, which is the next piece. So a thought would be something like you’re gonna state it openly, honestly, with and with kindness. I think you are confused. I think you might not understand. I think I might not have explained myself well. And so when you hook these are the first two. Like, when I see the look on your face, I think I haven’t explained myself clearly enough. So do you see how it’s an I statement? It’s really objective.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:52]:
No no judgment. Just the facts. What’s coming up for you? And so the third the third statement you’re gonna make as part of this awareness wheel of healthy communication is your emotions. So you’re gonna use feeling words. So you’re not gonna say I you’re not gonna say a thought. You’re gonna say, I I feel angry. I feel embarrassed. I feel overwhelmed.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:20]:
A lot of people don’t realize even numbness is a feeling. I feel numb. Yeah. I just don’t feel anything. So now you’re hooking together the body, what you observe. When I when I see the look on your face, I think I might not have explained myself clearly, and I feel disappointed. Right? So then you can move into the will or desires, and this is what we want. And and sometimes it’s the hardest piece to name I love it.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:49]:
What you want. Yeah. Yeah. So this may take some some consideration, because we might not be used to asking for we want, but you get really clear on your request of the other person, as well as be prepared to hear what it is that they want. And this is what helps create the win win at the end. So you might say something like, I would like to, and you fill in the blank here, or would you consider? And it could be something like having an having another conversation about this, or would you consider asking, asking of me what you need in situations like this, or could we? That could be the will or the desire. So it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the solution right there, but you’re keeping the door open for a win win solution because you’ve laid out what I have observed, what I think, what I feel, and what I want from this. And so finally, at the end, you state the action you’re you’re willing to take or that ask for the action from the other person.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:56]:
You make a commitment, a mutual commitment. Here’s what we’re gonna do next.

Narrator [00:11:02]:
I love that. What I love about that and then I’ve got some questions about that. But I love how it goes all around, and I love how it makes it personal. It’s not, you did this to me and every single time and you are always and I can’t believe that it gets us out of all of that superfluous stuff and it moves the conversation forward. So here’s my question around that. Do you recommend thinking through this before you sit down to have a conversation? And when conversations start to speed up, how do you slow it back down to deescalate and get out of that, I’m responding to you. I’m responding to you. I’m responding to you.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:50]:
Such a great question. So I would. If you’re if it’s something that you’ve been brewing over, like the the the situation has happened in its past, The awareness wheel is a great way to ground how it is that you’re what you’re observing, thinking, feeling, even just within yourself, and give you a framework so that the the key here is that I take responsibility for what I’m seeing, thinking, feeling. I own it, and the other person owns theirs. So anytime I start to use the word you in a conversation, I catch myself and think, wait a minute. This is where it is yeah. I I’m I’m it’s easy to say you did such and such. Well, what do I think and feel? What do I want? And so, and then the second part of your question of in the heat of the moment, absolutely.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:36]:
I think the more we practice this type of communication in, non escalated situations, the more it’ll become second nature in those situations where emotions are running high. And so it could be something, where you are noticing in a in a con conversation, someone is starting to blame you maybe. And there are some ways that you could you could say, like, hey. I’m noticing I’m noticing or when when I hear the words coming out of your mouth right now, you see how you can use it right there? When I hear, I can you know, it makes me think that you’re really upset. It makes me think maybe we need some time set aside to work on this, and I feel a little nervous right now continuing to engage with you. Would you be willing to set some time tomorrow to talk about this when we both have calmed down? You see how that works? Mhmm. Mhmm. But but it takes practice because any of us, when we’re when we’re triggered and upset over something or in a place of pain, we’re human.

Lora Cheadle [00:13:39]:
Right? So it’s very easy to wanna engage and fix it right there. And and that’s what we’re trying to do. Yeah. Other practices like meditation, stillness to be okay with not solving it in the moment. Mhmm.

Narrator [00:13:52]:
And, you know, when you talk about practice, I think it would also be really powerful to practice with a safe person. Practice with your best girlfriend. Practice with your coach. Practice with somebody just so you can start getting the rhythm and so you can start thinking of those phrases. So when somebody attacks you, well, I cheated because you ignored me and you’re always that you don’t all of a sudden think what were those phrases and what were those steps and okay, I’ve got this.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:20]:
Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Practicing with people that feel safe and, gosh, especially when you’re when you’re on the end of a blame attack, like someone’s blaming you. I don’t know I don’t know about you, but, like, I just totally shrivel because I hate feeling misunderstood. And you you do. You’re you know, everyone has their reaction, and so I wanna jump to defend. And, no, I didn’t do that. That’s not what I’m now I wanna explain myself.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:47]:
And the more that you practice this, what’s so beautiful is that you’re able to hear someone’s attack, if you will, and you can see that they have an unmet need. Yes. And so that’s where you where I can begin to to not judge even though it may feel painful to be on the receiving end. I can see, wow, they have an unmet need too. And it may not be my job to fill that need right here in this moment, but it allows me to step back and disengage a bit.

Narrator [00:15:13]:
Yeah. Yeah. And and it brings in, I think, also that place of a little bit of compassion. You can still be mad at somebody. You can still be frustrated at somebody, but it’s that awareness. Yeah. They do have an unmet need, and I do too. And if we are to solve it together, this is the way to do it.

Narrator [00:15:32]:
And what I also really love about this is that step 4, the will or desire because I know that’s one thing that I work on with so many people that I coach and I’m sure you do too. People know what they don’t want, but they don’t know what they do want. Well, I wish this wouldn’t have happened. I wish you would just stop doing this. Well, but what are those positive things? What do you want?

Lora Cheadle [00:15:56]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Narrator [00:15:58]:
Yeah. That’s really hard.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:00]:
Because it’s scary to want what we want because then you’re moving from a hope to having like, it let’s say I really I really want, yeah, a healthy relationship. I want my partner to love me unconditionally. I want it to work well, and you spend a lot of your life hoping for that. That hope can become an anchor. And when we get what we want, the hope goes away, and that can feel like a loss, like a little scary, right, to even get what we want. So there’s some stuff going on in the background sometimes with what we want and what’s blocking that that is worth exploring. If if that hope goes away, then I’ve lost hope for that. And what if it’s not what I thought it would be?

Narrator [00:16:43]:
Wow. You know, that is really profound and that is true. And, you know, there’s so many women listening to this show who have and that’s the exact word. I have such hope for my marriage. I hope my partner will change. I hope I can go back to work after raising the kids. And I hope I and you’re right. Sometimes it feels safer to stay in that perpetual state of hope than to take action to get yourself what you want to make a decision to to actually receive that.

Narrator [00:17:17]:
So thank you for saying that. That’s huge.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:21]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. When I learned that, it was, like, a huge light bulb moment.

Narrator [00:17:26]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:28]:
To stay in hope and not action. Yeah.

Narrator [00:17:34]:
Yeah. And there’s always an unfolding. You know, there’s always that next thing that we want. So

Lora Cheadle [00:17:41]:
You can always remain hopeful. You can receive what you want and still remain hopeful for more because that’s where abundance really begins to open up is that I think part of now that we’re talking about this, part of, of that fear and getting what we wanted, once I get it, is there gonna be anything else? Like or is it scarcity? Like, is there a scarcity mindset going on where this is the only thing that aren’t good that I’m gonna gonna get? And even then, the rug might be pulled out. Right? Like, if you’re used to having disappointment and things not come through, why would I wanna get what I want if it’s just gonna go away?

Narrator [00:18:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s amazing. Yeah. The the mindset. Just how much mindset work there is in every area of our life.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:30]:
Yeah. Absolutely.

Narrator [00:18:32]:
Yeah. And I wanna do a little segue in there too because I know you do business coaching as well. And one thing that I hear from a lot of a lot of the listeners have jobs, careers, all of that, but there’s also a segment of listeners like I was who was the parent who stayed home and raised the kids, who did step back from their career. And there’s this huge fear that a lot of people have, how do I still have time for my kids, still have time for relationship and build a business? And when you’re talking about that hope and the abundance and the expansion, I would just love for you to talk about that how how there is more. How do we shift out of that scarcity that I can only do 1 or the other. I can’t have it all.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:22]:
How do we move into either or and have it all? You know, someone told me once a coach said that, when we’re in scarcity, everything is a decision. It’s either or. Right? Like, I can either go to this go on this trip or, launch my business. I can either, you know, enjoy time with my family or go exercise. It’s always either or. And when we move out of scarcity and and into abundance, we move from decision making, either or, into choice, real choice, and it can be both ands. You know, how how is it that I can have both, time with my family and be really so efficient and streamlined in my business and impactful that I have time at the end of the day with my family. So it’s asking framing starting to frame, watch our language even, and frame things in the form of a question.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:17]:
That’s what will get your brain looking for solutions. So if you find yourself saying I never have enough time, flip that into a question. How how, how is it that time flows? My my day flows perfectly well. You know, just ask yourself a question every morning. How is today going to be full of everything that I need and nothing that I don’t need? And so it’s like it’s like taking an affirmation, which if you make a statement to yourself, I have I am, beautiful, but deep down, you really don’t believe it. Your brain you’re on your brain or not, and there’s gonna be a disconnect. But if you if you’re really curious and say, oh, how can I be beautiful? How can I show up as a beautiful human? That question I mean, the minute I switch it, it’s like, oh, maybe that is possible.

Narrator [00:21:09]:
Yeah. I love that. And and I just was I was writing some of those down when you were talking about it. Even the question, how is it that my marriage got so good after such trauma? Then you know, oh, well, we learned about the awareness wheel. We started doing communication. We got therapy, coaching, counseling. Then you get the answers.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:33]:
Yes, Lora. And I will say this is a fun example. There was a Saturday not too long ago that I had a laundry list of things to do, and I played a little game with myself. I said, what would it feel like, not just in my mind, but in my body? What would it feel like to get to the end of this day and have everything done that I wanted to do? And I just let myself imagine. Oh, it just it gave me tingles. Like, wow. It feels so good to get to the end of the day. I would feel so relaxed.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:00]:
Everything’s done. And I just tricked my body and my mind into thinking it was done. I will tell you I didn’t even have to focus on the list. It all got done because I was I was showing up and feeling what it would feel to be the person that had it all done already. So whatever it is you want in your marriage, in your business, imagine it let your body feel what it feels like to be that it that it is what you want it to be and see what happens. It’s a fun little game to play.

Narrator [00:22:31]:
Yeah. No. That’s very powerful. And, you know, that kind of leads into the next thing that I wanted to talk about too, which was that mental rehearsal. Say more about that because I do mental rehearsals very often, and it usually helps. I’m not gonna lie. It’s not a 100% of the time. Sometimes something comes out of left field, but most of the time it’s really useful.

Narrator [00:22:56]:
And even when something comes out of left field, I’m more calm and adept at handling it. So let’s talk about that.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:03]:
Oh, I love that. And mental rehearsal is so fun because it’s it’s like visualization on steroids, I say. Where visualization, you’re just picturing what you want. Mental rehearsal, you’re really stepping into the future you and feeling what it feels like to be in that body. And you know this because you’ve done this where you’re you’re showing up as the person, the future you that you wanna be. And and I like to tell people that when we’re being the person that has our future desired life, we’re we’re able to draw that into the present. And it’s not about the doing. The doing just will flow if you’re being the right person that you wanna be.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:44]:
Yeah. Not it’s not about the right person. If you’re being the person that you wanna be, living the life you wanna live, then out of that will flow all the doing that needs to happen to make that real. So with mental rehearsal, it’s just practicing that. I need to practice it more myself. You know, it’s so easy to to share this with other people. But when I do, like you said, it really grounds me.

Narrator [00:24:07]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. You’ll laugh at this, and I’ll just have to share it because I shared it a couple of weeks ago on my podcast. One of the things that I hear so many people say is once I whatever it is, then I will. And it’s great. I mean, that’s how we’ve been taught to think, but I always joke with them. Like, my joke, my celebrity crush is Hugh Jackman.

Narrator [00:24:32]:
So when I hear women say, like, I’m not I I can’t give that to my partner. I can’t give that to my I’ll say, okay. So pick your celebrity crush. How would you show up married to Hugh Jackman? When I marry Hugh Jackman, I would I would do this. I would show up like this. I would give this kind of attention. I would finally get myself together. Do it now because it’s not about marrying your celebrity crush that changes you.

Narrator [00:24:59]:
It’s about being that person that changes you. And, you know, again, in this infidelity space, people will say, once my partner apologizes, once I find closure, once I know the truth, you might not ever have a partner who apologizes. So how are you gonna are you just gonna be a victim of circumstance then?

Lora Cheadle [00:25:23]:
Yeah. Well and that that is so powerful what you just shared because anytime I’m I find myself waiting and saying that, well, I’ll make this decision once these 3 dominoes fall into place, that domino effect, you’re beholden to the outside world. You have no internal sense of authority and responsibility. Like, you’ve outsourced yourself, basically. And so it can be really scary to to bring that back in. Right? Especially when you’ve been betrayed, I totally get it. Like, it it’s easy to do that even when you haven’t been betrayed. But, to to feel so vulnerable inside, it can be scary to find that voice again, I can imagine, and feel like I’m gonna make this decision based on who I know I wanna be and forward, regardless of what anyone is doing around me.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:12]:
And that’s where, like, all these tools, the awareness wheel, the mental rehearsal, come into play because they’re helping you ground within yourself and really own who you are. So I would love to lead your audience through a mental rehearsal guided if you if that would be helpful.

Narrator [00:26:27]:
That would be enormously helpful. Please do that.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:32]:
Okay. Beautiful. So I will be talking for the next 10 minutes or so. And as listeners, you don’t need to do anything. You can fully relax into the sound of my voice. Nothing to do, nowhere to be except right here. And so go ahead and close your outer eyelid, feel your butt in the seat, maybe you want to shrug your shoulders, Feel your feet on the ground. And I want you to step into that version of you that is completely committed to bringing your greatness into the world, even when things feel upside down, because you are here for a reason.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:22]:
You are committed to a better future, not just for yourself, but for those around you and even for the world. You are ready and willing to transform intrusive thoughts, unproductive emotions, and past choices into the highest version of greatness that you can hold. You were made for this, and you cannot fail at something you were made for. Picture the future you in coming days. See yourself fully. Now step into this future you. This is the future you that is 100% committed to greatness and all of the responsibility, scary though it may seem, that comes with it. This is the future you that rejects mediocrity.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:12]:
This is the future you that feels comfortable, excited even, to step into the unknown. Slip into the body of this future you. You may observe that your future self is already having the result that you want right now, waking up to live your life in the fullest way imaginable, fully giving and receiving love, leading your relationships with friends and loved ones, Seeing every problem as an opportunity aligned with your purpose. Healthy, strong, and productive, and carving new paths along the way. Now put your fingers into the future you finger slot. Your toes into the toe slot and take a moment and just be with this future you. Look through their eyes, hear through their ears, smell, taste, and feel with their senses. Continue to breathe, and as you do, breathe with their lungs and feel their heart beating as yours.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:20]:
As you inhale and exhale, notice how well everything is going for you. Notice how you operate out of intuition and with wisdom. Decisions are made swiftly, easily, and with confidence. Notice also how it feels to be taking such good care of yourself. You feel well rested, nourished, and able to stand in integrity with who you say you want to be and who you are. The healthy boundaries that you set enable more time and energy for what is important, and you feel lighter and greater freedom as a result. As you inhale and exhale more deeply, you might feel more calm, secure, expansive, and energized. Allow yourself to feel with clarity that this could be how you operate every single day, and what a miracle it is to be able to fulfill your dreams.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:21]:
It’s possible that no matter what has happened in the past and no matter what is happening right now, living your dream life might feel really good, and it might even get better with each passing day. As you relax into the newness of this, it begins to feel not only possible but familiar. Your dream life is anything but normal. It’s exquisitely good. You realize that you can consciously choose to resonate at this frequency, which enables you to operate with ease. You recognize how special this is and how humbling it is to operate with ease. You begin to inspire others because they are witnessing you as an example of how good life can be. In this place, you are more present, expressing life giving energy to anyone around you.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:13]:
Let yourself savor the freedom to move and breathe with grace and ease. Notice that all of your cells are filled with fresh energy, and the world appears brighter. You can feel yourself now more aligned, more alive, and engaged on all levels. As these feelings grow, your lips naturally stretch into a smile. Take a look around. Where are you? What do you see? Who are you with? Notice the sounds are people talking to you? And if so, notice what they are saying. You might notice how easy it is to clear out all of the negativity and resistance, all of the past regrets, all of the chatter in your mind as you choose to relax into this best version of yourself. You remember how aligned you are with your own unique essence while carving out a new path forward.

Lora Cheadle [00:32:26]:
And you are not just a head on top of a body. Your head and your heart, your thoughts and feelings are all in alignment with one another and with your purpose. Any internal pressure you might feel is coming from compassion, love, connectedness to your vision, and a desire to expand. Feel how incredibly blessed you are to have this body, soul, and spirit that serves you so well. Feel how grateful you are to be anchored by the right people, knowledge, skills, and experience that you have. Notice your thoughts. What is the future you saying about you? Now turn up the volume on your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, or feel? Allow yourself to really experience the magnificence of your future self.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:35]:
Be so attuned to the pleasure of feeling engaged and lighter. Smile to yourself because it’s what you always knew was possible. And why not be this version of yourself every day because only you can offer your unique self to the world. Allow yourself to settle into this and as you consciously choose to make life giving choices for yourself around people, activities, and your dreams, you begin to feel unstoppable. You are more radiant, alive, and on purpose. You tell yourself, yes, I am ready for anything. Allow that beautiful energy like a golden ball of light to penetrate every cell of your body, Organically fashioning you into the truth of who you are, have always been, and always will be. Take a few deep breaths, integrating this feeling of aliveness, oxygenating all your cells with fresh energy, and this time answer the following question.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:41]:
What would this future version tell you here and now?

Narrator [00:34:50]:
That’s beautiful.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:54]:
Yeah. And so you can play this every day. You can create your own. And the more we practice who we want to be and we are, the easier it becomes.

Narrator [00:35:08]:
Yeah. I think one of the words that I really appreciated, I wrote it down, is when he said it it starts to feel familiar because I think that’s such such the thing that holds us back. I don’t know how it feels to be successful, to have a ton of money, to be loved, to have this perfect balance. And just like you were saying with hope, it’s almost scary because we don’t know how it feels. And as a human organism, change is scary. And we do stay in bad situations simply because we know it, because we know we’re alive. So even if it’s abusive or toxic or stressful, everything in our body and our mind will hold us there. And just the reminder, love, joy, success, that will feel familiar one day too.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:01]:
It will. It will. And when when we’ve been used to, things not feeling good and that that’s what feels familiar. When things get to a neutral state or good, it can feel really uncomfortable. And I I know because I’ve been there. Yeah. And so so the more we practice and allow allow what feels good, Just be with that. Be with the discomfort of that and as you move into it, and be gentle with yourself.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:32]:
Someone said once, be patient with who you’re becoming. Be patient with who you’re becoming.

Narrator [00:36:40]:
Yeah. It

Lora Cheadle [00:36:40]:
takes time.

Narrator [00:36:41]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Before before we hop to this next thing, will you talk about your summit a little bit? Because I know you’ve got a gift of $5 off the VIP upgrade for the summit. And I would just love for you to tell listeners a little bit more about that so they can join us.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:02]:
Absolutely. So thank you, Lora. So the event is called Unite to Ignite, Win at Business Without Losing That Love, and it’s live, August 28, 29. And we’re gonna be interviewing wonderful experts like you in, relationship coaching, business coaching, because what I’ve been noticing is that people in business are are either all in on their business and they don’t even have a love life, or maybe they’re in business with their partner and that there’s a strain on the partnership because of the business. And so I wanted to bring together experts to find harm how we can create harmony in business and love. Bring more love into our business and vice versa, so that we can really do all of the things that are aligned with our purpose and passion, which includes people, work, health, you know, all of that, and that nothing is sacrificed. So, for your audience, if you want the event is totally free. If you want to come for free, it’s unite to ignite.com.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:03]:
That’s unite, the number 2, ignite.com. And if they for your audience, if they use the code 5 off, number 5, o f f, they will get, $5 off the VIP, upgrade to the event, which will give you access to the replays and some other goodies in there as well.

Narrator [00:38:22]:
Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you. And I will put the link in the show notes too. And what I encourage the reason that I really encourage you all to attend whether you own your own business, whether you’re thinking about owning your own business, whether you’re not thinking about owning your own business is this is one of those things where it’s important to start seeing a future vision for yourself. And maybe that vision does include working in a different capacity. Maybe you’re already working, but that was part of the problem. It’s part of the stress in your life.

Narrator [00:38:53]:
It’s just helping you envision yourself differently because as yeah. Like as we were talking about, you have to know yourself and you have to show yourself to yourself differently. So even if you’re thinking, yeah, maybe that’s not really for me, open your mind, attend, listen listen to me, listen to some of these other experts, and just start expanding your mind a little bit.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:18]:
I agree, Lora. Thank you for sharing that. Even if you’re not starting a business, these talks, these speakers, it’s gonna be about how to show up as a better human, a more balanced version of yourself for yourself and others. We’ve got some great speakers lined up, including you. And and that gift code, again, yeah, the 5 off, it’s good through August 17th. So go ahead and sign up. Take advantage of that, and we hope to see you August 28, 29.

Narrator [00:39:44]:
Yes. Perfect. Perfect. And then before we hop out of here, say a little bit about woundology because my audience knows I’m I do all somatics. I do all the body based stuff. So they’re pretty familiar with that. But I love to talk about listening to your body and the wound and the story and giving them some more tools around that.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:04]:
Yes. I’m so glad you asked that. It wasn’t until I learned to listen to my body that all of the thoughts and emotions kinda came into alignment. I used to be in my twenties thirties, someone who was always kind of like you know, I didn’t know how I feel one day the next, and I had this amazing mentor who taught me how to connect it all. So I I would ask to people, you know, your body is a mirror of your relationship with your life, with your with your circumstances. And so there’s some really interesting connections as you start to think about I’ll just give you, three examples. So, for example, let’s say you have some pain in your arm. This could indicate you may wanna ask yourself, what am I holding on to or embracing that needs to be released? Because our arms embrace.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:51]:
Right? Again, this is not a a formula, but something to kind of think about. What is it that I could be holding on to that needs to be released? If you’re having, hearing, problem with your ears or ear infections a lot of the time, You could ask yourself, what am I not hearing that needs to be heard? Where where are there blocks and clarity of what I’m understanding in the world? Leg pain, for example. Another example could be in what ways am I not standing on my own two legs? I know for me, I just rolled my ankle a couple weeks ago, and I tend to have weak ankles. And it’s like, where is my foundation shaking? There’s a lot of change going on in my life right now. And so, yeah, it’s it’s just so good to be in in touch with your body. Your, your biography or your story creates your biology and vice versa. So it’s all intertwined. And there’s I like to think that there’s a story behind any physical pain, any illness, and fear and stress can really, when we’re in that state, I noticed I’m more prone to injury when I’m in a season.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:59]:
Like, I’m not really all connected in all ways. And so, yeah. So that that is the woundology. And, so it could be very interesting for your audience to start paying attention to that. And there’s there’s some great guided visualizations around that too. Just briefly not really be through 1. I don’t know if we have time, but, your your breath as you let’s say you do have a pain in your arm. There are some easy ways to just breathe into that and even just ask yourself, you know, what what is it that’s going on there? What am I holding? What what is the what is that pain indicating to me? And just get really still and and listen for what your body wants to tell you.

Narrator [00:42:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s it’s interesting. It’s really interesting just giving yourself that space. Yeah. And I think many of my listeners know, but I’ll share it with you just to when I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I broke my foot and the foot moving forward and just so much My future’s broken. My ability to move forward is broken. The sensation in myself, I am broken.

Narrator [00:43:18]:
And there is no coincidence around that.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:20]:
Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. Well and as we as we think about the the pain, there’s a couple other things I like to do. 1 is to, it’s gonna sound so silly, but speak to that part of the body and even just I love you. Like, say I love you. Thank you for thank you for letting me stand on you all day, but, like, you’re doing a great job. And then asking, yeah, what needs to be healed right now? Like, yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:48]:
I I mean, that’s huge. What you saw there as moving forward, I love that. I love that parallel that you noticed. And you can then begin to just breathe breathe into that area, with gentleness and compassion and and healing. The other thing I like to practice when I have a physical pain, I’ve been practicing. Actually, usually, in the past, my body would take a long time to heal, but I’ve been playing another game with myself and saying, you know, how how is my body healing so quickly? And sure enough, this angle has healed quicker than the last time I did this. I mean, it’s huge how our mind is connected with our body.

Narrator [00:44:26]:
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah. How is it that I went through another cold season without getting sick? I mean, there’s so many things we can say.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah.

Narrator [00:44:38]:
I love it. Well, I have really appreciated both your wisdom and your insight paired with the tools that you’ve shared today. They’re they’re accessible and they’ve really given the listeners some great things to think about. Where can people learn more about you besides the summit?

Lora Cheadle [00:44:57]:
Beautiful. So if they visit believablecoaching.combelievablecoaching.com, they can download a free workbook that has the awareness wheel in it, and some other goodies, great little worksheets and tools, my favorite dance playlist. So if they go to www.believablecoaching.com, they can find me there.

Narrator [00:45:20]:
Wonderful. Thank you so much for your time, your compassion, your wisdom, your insight, all of that. And, listeners really do check out the summit, like we were saying, it’s just one of those things that it will shift your mind. It will expand your awareness. It will get you thinking about yourself in your life and what’s possible for you in entirely different ways. And I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I focus on the problem too heavy, I can’t see the forest for the trees. And let’s check out that whole forest and see what’s possible. So thank you, Sarah.

Narrator [00:45:57]:
I really appreciated this.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:59]:
Thank you, Lora.

Narrator [00:46:01]:
You’re welcome. Listeners have an amazing week and always remember to flaunt exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough. Are you ready to breakthrough and find out what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal? If you were tired of the anguish, the pain, the confusion, the overwhelm, or the obsessive thoughts, then reach out. Schedule your 1 on 1 hour long breakthrough call, and together, we will figure out what you need to do to break through and get to the other side of betrayal. During our time together, you can explain what’s going on with you. Together, we will figure out what it is that’s blocking you, whether it’s your partner’s stubbornness or inability to move forward on the same page as you, mindset, finances, concern about your kids. Whatever it is, together, we will figure out what that block is, and then we will put together a strategy. So you can move ahead step by step and get to the other side of betrayal without overwhelm, without confusion, without being distracted and losing focus and wasting time, money, or your valuable energy? Isn’t it time for you to get where you want to be? On the other side of this horrific situation, looking back with peace and perspective.

Narrator [00:47:53]:
When we get together, not only will you have that 1 on 1 hour long Zoom call with me, but we’ll also record it. So everything will be memorialized, and you always will have something to go back to so you know your own personalized plan. And you will also receive 30 minutes of follow-up Voxer support with me, so you won’t lose track, so you won’t get derailed. And so, if you need something adjusted, together, we will be able to adjust it. To schedule your appointment, go to betrayalrecoveryguide.com and click on the pop up link, or reach out, Lora, l o r a, at Lora Cheadle, l o r a sheadle.com, and let’s get you scheduled. I can’t wait to help you step back into your power and reclaim your identity, self worth, and create exactly the kind of life that you love.

Narrator [00:49:07]:
Tune in next time to flaunt. Find your sparkle, and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7 AM and 7 PM Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision 7 Radio Network. Uncover the truth of what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayal recoveryguide.com.

 

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