Are you ready to wake up from the nightmare of infidelity and betrayal? Do you want to feel calm, confident, and sexy again? Then join me for a Free 5-Day Spring Awakening Workshop, April 8-12, 12-12:30 MST via Zoom. Replays available. Sign up at www.SparkleAllSeason.com

Top take-a-ways:

• Plant the seeds for what you want to harvest in the next chapter of your life
• Find and experience calm and confidence during the betrayal recovery journey
• Falling in love with yourself and feeling sexy and powerful in your own skin
• The power of being seen, releasing the fear of judgment, and defining yourself, your way

Here’s what you will learn during the Spring Awakening Five Day Challenge:

• LIVE! Monday April 8 – Intention Setting & Guided Hypnosis: Harness the power of the subconscious mind to create and anchor in your Spring Awakening intention.
• LIVE! Tuesday April 9 – Journaling & Why The Power’s Been Inside of You All Along: How to tap the unconscious mind to find the answers you need quickly and efficiently, and the certainty and calm of becoming your own oracle.
• On Demand! Wednesday April 10 – Meditation, Frequency & Becoming Who You Are: Unleashing the creativity of the conscious portion of the mind so you can become and express who you authentically are without judgement or fear.
• On Demand! Thursday April 11 – Somatic Movement to Process Pain & Reclaim Your Sexy: Why moving with intention and embodying both what you wish to release and what you desire to feel and become is the fastest way to feel sexy and confident again.
• LIVE! Friday April 12 – The Creation & Elimination of Habits, Thoughts, and Behaviors: How you can use journaling, meditation, and somatic movement to go from overwhelmed and stressed out to calm, confused and unsure of your next steps to confident, and feeling old, ugly, and worthless to sexy and empowered again in the next 90 days.

Join for FREE at www.SparkleAllSeason.com

About Lora

Attorney, speaker and Burnout & Betrayal Recovery Coach, Lora Cheadle believes that betrayal uncovers the truth of what’s possible when we stop focusing on what was done to us and start showing up unapologetically for ourselves. She helps women rebuild their identity and self-worth after infidelity so they can reclaim (or find for the very first time) their confidence, clarity, and connection to source and create their own kind of happily ever after.

Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT

Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile! Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

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Transcript

Narrator [00:00:01]:
You’re listening to FLAUNT, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. A podcast women who’ve been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim themselves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.

Lora Cheadle [00:00:35]:
Hello, and welcome to Flaunt. Find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Lora Cheadle. And today, today’s show is an amazing show. Today, we’re going to talk about spring awakening. How to awaken to your calm, confident, and sexy self so you can flourish after infidelity. And if you’re feeling a little bit triggered, I just wanna call that out right here because, yeah, the idea of feeling sexy again after infidelity can feel triggering. And I wanna be clear before we get into this, before you say, nope.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:24]:
Not for me. I don’t want that. The way I define sexy is really feeling your power, feeling your joy, being in touch with you, your sensuality and your sexuality for you, not for your partner, not for somebody else, not so you can go into hysterical bonding mode and just, like, prove that you’re the hottest thing since sliced bread. No. No. No. No. No.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:55]:
That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about that sense, that internal sense of sensuality and sexuality that you enjoy life, that you enjoy yourself, that you are lit up from the inside. And that’s why I lump together confidence, calmness, and feeling sexy all at the same time because those three things really are part and parcel with each other. When you’re feeling confident, you’re feeling sexy, you’re feeling calm because you know who you are and you’re not performing for anybody. In our world, so much sexuality has been been or become performative sexuality, and that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about being sexy and trying to attract attention. I’m talking about that calmness and that confidence that comes from knowing that you are enough, that you are beautiful at any weight, at any size, at any age, that you are beautiful and powerful and sensual and confident and calm and sexy because of who you are, because you feel it inside. And that’s what we’re talking about today is how to awaken that.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:31]:
Because if you’re anything like me, infidelity shuts all that down. It shuts down your sense of calm because suddenly you’re like, this could happen again. Why did I not know it? Why am I the fool? How could I have been such a fool? What did I miss? What else is gonna happen? How do I keep myself safe? Infidelity takes away your sense of calm. We are going to talk about how to regain that sense of calm. Infidelity also shatters your confidence. So if you’re sitting there feeling old and ugly or like you’ve been discarded or that you weren’t pretty enough or thin enough or whatever it was, if you’re just not feeling confident because you’re like, I couldn’t even keep my partner, you’re not alone. We have all felt like that. We have all been there, and that’s what we’re gonna talk about too is reawakening your sense of confidence, your inner knowing that you are enough, your inner knowing that everything is good, your inner knowing about yourself as a worthy, wonderful human being.

Lora Cheadle [00:04:48]:
And then, lastly, yes, we’re going to talk about feeling sexy because whether or not that word is triggering for you you know what? As women, we want to be beautiful. We want to feel sexy. Even if we don’t identify as somebody who cares about that, So many people that I will talk to will say on the surface, I don’t care about being pretty. I don’t care about being sexy. That’s all superficial. And it’s like, yeah. Exactly. And you live in a world that still overly values and validates that.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:23]:
And let me call you out on that because we all still wanna feel good in our body. We all still want to feel good in our body. No. It doesn’t matter. And, yes, it completely matters. So wherever you are on that spectrum, my hope for you is that at the end of the day today, at the end of this show, at the end of this hour, you’re gonna be like, yeah. I am at peace. I’m just calm.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:56]:
I feel secure, and I’m really happy with myself. Really happy with myself. I feel pleasure running through my body. I feel energy and joy running through my body. I am alive. And that is what I want for you. And then if you want to take this deeper, if you were like, yes. I’m totally loving all of this and I wanna take it deeper, I have got a free 5 day challenge coming up April 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:39]:
And here’s the thing. I’m doing it at noon mountain, but it doesn’t matter because if you sign up, you get the replay. So no big deal if you can’t do it live. Actually, I am doing it live on Monday 8th, Tuesday 9th, and Friday 12th. But on Wednesday Thursday, April 10th 11th, I’m prerecording it, and I’m sending it out to you anyway. And there’s a reason why I’m doing that. I’m doing that because there is this gap sometimes in accountability. Like, we know we need something and we seek it out and then we don’t do it.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:24]:
Like, I’ve got a couple of do it yourself on demand, Infidelity recovery programs. And sometimes people will buy those programs. They’re only $208. It’s not a big deal for, you know, 90 days. And sometimes people will buy it, and then they won’t follow through with it. And when I send out the email or send out a text or call somebody, and I’m like, how are you doing? They’re like, oh, I haven’t done it. And it’s really interesting. It’s a really interesting disconnect because we’ve all been there.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:57]:
We all know what we’re supposed to do, whether it’s with, like, diet and exercise, whether it’s following up or calling people or paying our taxes. We all know what we’re supposed to do and who out there puts it off. Yeah. Me. I put it off. I’m like, oh my gosh. I gotta do my taxes now. I knew that.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:21]:
I know every year that they’re due, yet I will still put it off. I know what I’m supposed to eat and not eat, and I will still eat too much sugar or fat or just too large of a portion. We all do that. That accountability piece sometimes is hard, and that’s why I’ve structured this challenge with 3 days live and 2 days virtual because it gives you some feedback on yourself. And that feedback is, will I show up if I have a coach? Will I show up if I have somebody there waiting for me? Probably, yes. If somebody is waiting for you, you will show up. But I want you to notice if something’s prerecorded, will you show up for yourself? Will you show up for yourself? Oh, one thing I’m big on is making and then keeping promises to yourself. I talk a lot about the power of unbroken promises.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:34]:
You know, if somebody broke promises to you at the rate you break promises to yourself, you might not trust them. You might not want them in your life and you just might not feel super safe with them. Right? So if you’re breaking promises to yourself, how much do you trust yourself? You know when you break a promise to yourself. Yes. If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably make some excuse. Yeah. But it was snowing outside. Yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:18]:
But I was tired. Yeah. But I’ll do it tomorrow. Well, yeah. But this was more important. It’s the yeah, buts. Yeah, but. Yeah, but.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:27]:
Yeah, but. Yeah, but you made that promise to yourself. What is it gonna take for you to keep the promises that you make to yourself? What’s it gonna take? It’s a habit, and it’s a habit a lot of us women fall into because we are taught that a worthy woman pleases others. A worthy woman is selfless. A worthy woman sacrifices. A worthy woman is always there. And what it does is it trains us to put ourselves last. We’ve talked about this before, and we’re gonna talk about it again because it is so powerful and it is so hard to break out of a structure where everything is designed to keep us within this framework of always sacrificing our selves.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:24]:
So this 5 day challenge, they’re like 30 minutes a day. It is not a big deal, and, again, it’s on demand if you keep the promise you make to yourself to show up. And that’s part of the whole challenge. That is part of the whole challenge. It is testing. It is giving you feedback on you. It’s giving you feedback on your behaviors. You know what you need.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:49]:
You need to feel better. You know what you want. You want to feel calm. You wanna feel confident. You wanna feel sexy. You wanna awaken again. And yet, are you going to take the steps necessary to do that? Are you gonna show up for yourself or is this going to be yet another self improvement, self help thing that you begin and then you just get busy and then you never go back to, and you’re like, it just doesn’t work. Does it not work, or did you not show up for yourself? If you were interested in learning more, go to www.sparkleallseason.com and sign up for the challenge.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:33]:
Again, it’s free. It’s totally free. You just pop in your name and your email, and I will send you the links and the times and the dates and all of that stuff of the challenge, and then I will send you the replays afterwards. So beyond that week, you’re not gonna be hearing from me. It’s just Monday through Friday, April 8th through April 12th. And, again, you get the replays. Replays are free. It’s all free.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:58]:
Free. Free. Free. Free. But just go to sparkle all season dot com and sign up so I can send you either the live links or the replay links. You know, if you’ve listened to my show for a while, I love the wisdom of the seasons. I love the wisdom of the seasons. There is so much that we can learn from following the seasons.

Lora Cheadle [00:13:22]:
We’ve talked before about winter, and winter is the season for rest. Now we are in the season of spring, and spring is about planting things. It’s planting new ideas. It’s planting new behaviors. It’s planting new habits and patterns and beliefs in our mind so we show up differently, so we become different. What are the seeds that you are planting right now? What are the seeds that you’re planting right now? I’ve got a Facebook group, and it’s really interesting. 99.9% of the women in that group are amazing, and they’re passionate, and they’re committed to themselves, and they keep the promises that they make to themselves. And even when they don’t, they’ve got this recognition that, okay.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:17]:
I’m struggling. Wonderful. Reach out when you’re struggling. Get help when you’re struggling. I’m not saying you have to be perfect and show up a 100% all of the time. What I’m saying is it’s so good to have that knowledge that, you know what? I am struggling right now and I can’t. I need to go grieve. I need to go cry.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:39]:
I need to be depressed and curl up for a while. That’s that winter season. But these women know that they’re planting something for their future. They know that there is something next. There is something down the line. There is something waiting for them, and they are the taking the steps right now to plant. They’re digging the holes. They’re finding the seeds that they want, and they’re planting those seeds, and they’re fertilizing them, and they’re watering them, and they’re taking care of them versus that point o 1 percent of the women that sometimes show up in the group and are like, everything is awful, and it’s never gonna get better, and I’ve been ruined.

Lora Cheadle [00:15:25]:
We all feel like that. We all feel like that, and it’s okay to feel like that. But somewhere inside, do you have that realization that that’s not entirely true, that all feelings are temporary, that this too shall pass Even if it’s just the tiniest, tiniest hint of understanding, that’s what I ask you to lean into because this too shall pass, and you are stronger than that. You are stronger than to let yourself get taken down by somebody else’s decisions. You are stronger and more powerful than that, and you deserve so much more than that. Is infidelity unfair? Wildly unfair. So don’t make the next chapter of your life wildly unfair. If you let somebody else’s decisions dictate the next chapter of your life, that’s on you.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:32]:
That’s on you. Don’t let their decisions dictate the next chapter of your life. You do you. Who do you wanna become? What are you planting for that next chapter? And that’s what spring awakening is all about. We’re awakening to the possibilities of what it is that we are planting. And just like planting a seed, if you plant an oak tree seed, you get an oak tree. If you plant a strawberry seed, you get a strawberry. If you plant a carrot seed, you get a carrot.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:03]:
Whatever you plant now is what you get. Whatever you plant now is what you get, so plant those seeds. And I know it takes time. I know it takes so much more time sometimes than we wanna give it. We’re like, yeah, I figured it out and I’m planning that scene. That’s who I wanna become and it didn’t happen. It takes a long time. I’m 6 years out.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:28]:
I am 6 years out. 7 years out from the first discovery, 6 years out from, like, the whole implosion finding out about the other 4 women and about the 15 years versus the what I thought it was originally. So, yeah, 6, 7 years. I am harvesting. I am reaping now some of the benefits that I planted 6 or 7 years ago. Yes, some things grew quickly, some things manifested more quickly, but some things are still taking time. And that’s what I wanna say is it’s good, and it the the it keeps coming in. It keeps coming in in waves.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:16]:
It’s not like you just plant something, and 3 months later, you feel great and, ta da, it’s all over. 3 months later, you might feel better. 6 months later, something else is gonna come in. A year later, something is gonna come up. 2 years later, you’re gonna be like, oh, I really get this now. It’s a process. So that’s what the spring awakening challenge is all about. What are you planting? And that’s what we’re going to do on Monday, April 8th.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:47]:
We are going to talk about setting intentions. We are going to talk about figuring out what are you planting. And then we are going to move into a guided hypnosis that I will send you the MP 4 on so you will have this hypnosis forever. And this guided hypnosis is going to help you harness the power of the subconscious mind to create and anchor in your spring awakening intention. So like I’ve said, my the 3 things that I’m focusing on with you are finding calm, finding confidence, and feeling sexy and alive again. If that resonates with you, those can be your intentions too. And if you’re like, I wanna tweak it and I want it to be a little bit different. Instead of calm, I want peace.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:44]:
Fabulous. It is your intention. You get to set your intention. And that’s what I’m gonna walk you through. This intention setting, you’re gonna get the guided hypnosis. So you have got your place to start. You have got your seed. This is finding the seed.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:05]:
Because, like I said earlier, if you plant a strawberry seed and then you’re disappointed because it’s a carrot, that’s a problem. So the whole 1st week, we’re going to talk about that. We’re gonna talk about finding your seed, creating your intention, and, yeah, it’s gonna take time. It’s gonna take, like, a week for you to figure this out, and you’re gonna wanna take that time to figure it out. You’re gonna wanna think, and it’s okay to change your mind. Don’t get locked in like this is your one chance ever. Find one intention, not the whole thing, one intention. And we’re gonna do that live.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:45]:
The 2nd week, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna talk about journaling and why the power has been inside of you all along. Journaling is fantastic because when you journal, you are making something manifest. You’re taking a thought and you’re writing it out on paper, so it becomes a little bit more concrete. And there’s a lot of magic in doing that. First of all, you’re actually pulling that thought out of the ethers and putting it down on paper. So you can read it, so you can look at it, so you can challenge yourself a little bit and be like, that doesn’t make sense. Or you can empower yourself with like, woah. This is amazing, and I actually wanna do more.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:38]:
Journaling is a way to ask your mind questions and to get your mind to open up and find the answers. So that’s what we’re gonna talk about is how to tap into the unconscious portion of the mind so you can find the answers that you need quickly and efficiently and get the certainty and calm feeling of becoming your own oracle. Oh, that sounds fancy, doesn’t it? Okay. When you ask yourself a question, your mind opens up a loop and it scans the environment for answers. Which is good and which is bad. When we’re in a thinking loop, we’re just throwing out all of these questions and we’re not giving ourselves time to answer. So when you journal, it’s a little bit more systematic because our minds will find the answer. The wisdom is within.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:36]:
It just is. It always is. But when we’re thinking about all these different things, what did he think? What did he say? What did he do? What does she know? Why wasn’t he thinking about me? Why didn’t he love me? What did I do wrong? How is this gonna turn out? What are people gonna think? Who do I tell? Like, when you’re throwing out all those questions, your mind boom. Boom. Boom. It’s opening all these loops, and then it can’t scan the environment for 30 things at the same time. It gets confused. Literally, it gets confused, and then it goes, and it short circuits.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:08]:
Your mind short circuits. So when you journal, you get a little bit more specific about Question 1, open up a loop, scan the environment, find the answer. Move to question 2, open up a loop, scan the environment, find an answer. You become more systematic about it, so those answers come in. And when I talk about becoming your own oracle and the certainty and calm that comes from becoming your own oracle, here’s what I wanna say around that. One of the questions that I hear a lot is, how will I know? How will I know if I should stay or go? How will I know? How much is too much? How do I know? What if I make a decision? What if things don’t work out? What if? What if? What if? Oh my god. I hear you. I hear you a 1000 times over.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:59]:
Am I too old to start over? What if I never find love? What if I find somebody else and they do this again? What if I do all this work and he cheats again? What if, oh my gosh, it’s terrifying, isn’t it? When you know how to use journaling as a tool to open up a loop and to find an answer, you feel this confidence in this calm inside because you know it’s the right answer for you. And the judgment of others doesn’t matter because you know it’s right. You know it’s right. You don’t need to defend yourself. You don’t need to explain yourself. If somebody is questioning you, like, you don’t even care. That’s another thing that I hear from the people that I coach a lot. Like, you care so much what people think.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:50]:
You won’t care. When you’re calm, when you’re centered, when you’ve got that confidence because you were your own oracle, you truly don’t care. You’re like, well, this is my decision, and I know it’s right. You move from that thinking state to that knowing. You move out of the head and into the heart, and you know you’ve got it. And, again, this goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning with those unbroken promises. You know that you’ve got your own back. You know that you are never gonna let yourself down.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:26]:
You know that. In the event a mistake is made or in the event something doesn’t turn out the way that you want it to turn out, you can figure it out. You have got the skills and the knowledge to figure it out. Even if it’s not something you know how to do, you trust yourself to go with it, to find the seed that you’re planting, to begin with the end in mind, to create that intention, to use journaling, to use the power of the subconscious mind, to become your own oracle and find your own solutions. And those are the first two things we are doing live, April 8th, April 9th, 12 o’clock mountain. And, again, you can get the replay. It’s not a big deal, but we’re gonna do those 2 things live, and we’re gonna spend 2 days, one day on 1, the other day on the other, finding that seed, getting clear about it, and then using journaling to uncover the answers. Then we are going to take a break the next 2 days from live sessions and I’m going to move into a prerecorded session, like I said earlier, to kind of test you, to allow you to test yourself.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:51]:
Will I show up? Here’s the video. Will I do it? Will I do this on my own? Or at this time in my life, do I need support? Do we need external support? You know, I’m talking about plants because it’s spring, and we all know, like, those little plant poles, the tomato cages, the string bean vines, like, the little plant poles. We give our plant support when they can’t support themselves. And that’s good and that’s normal. We want support. And, again, there are so much that’s been trained out of us, especially as women. As women, we don’t need support. We’re supposed to do it on our own.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:34]:
In western culture a lot, that rugged individualism. Oh my goodness. Vomit. We are humans. We are pack animals. We need each other. We need each other. We need support.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:51]:
We can’t all do it alone. We’re not supposed to do it alone. We need each other. We are all puzzles in a giant puzzle. We are all waves in the ocean. Whatever analogy, we’re all different sunbeams from the one side. However you wanna think about it, we need support and you deserve support, and that’s the biggest thing. I think back to my time as a young mom and this whole belief that I’m supposed to do it all, and I’m not, and you’re not, and we’re not.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:26]:
We’re not supposed to do it all on our own. We need support. We need a break. And that is why the infidelity recovery journey can be so difficult because there’s so much stigma and shame, and we’re like, I don’t wanna tell people. What are people gonna think? They’re gonna think things are wrong with me. They’re gonna judge me if I stay and work it out. They’re gonna judge me if I go. They’re gonna judge me here.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:49]:
They’re gonna judge me there. They’re gonna you need support. Oh my goodness. This is one of the most painful journeys a human being can go on. You need support. That’s why the Facebook group is so invaluable. You can read. You can just stalk and read other people’s stuff and be like, I’m not alone.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:11]:
Oh my gosh. Great suggestion. Or you can engage and you can share on your own too. And you can crowdsource feedback from people who have been there too, from people who are not gonna judge you because they get it intimately for me because I get it. Are you kidding? My husband cheated for 15 years with 5 women. I get it. I get the devastation. I will hold nothing back.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:41]:
You can ask me anything. You can ask the group anything. Just don’t do it alone. You need that support. So Wednesday Thursday, April 10th 11th, you will receive the video to do on your own, and you can test it out and see, yeah, I really am good at on my own stuff, or, nope, I wasn’t as engaged on my own. Good to know. I need support going through this journey. On Wednesday, April 10th, we are going to talk about meditation, frequency, and becoming who you are.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:22]:
This is about unleashing the creativity of the conscious portion of your mind. Before, we were using hypnosis and journaling to get to the unconscious or the subconscious. Now these next two dates, we’re getting to the conscious portion of your mind. And that’s another reason why I’m setting you free to do it on your own because you don’t need somebody to help you get to that unconscious place. We’re already all in the conscious mind most of our day anyway. So this is unleashing the creativity of the conscious portion of your mind so you can both become and express who you most authentically are without judgment or fear. We’ve already talked a little bit about judgment. Judgment and fear are the 2 things that shut us down.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:11]:
What will people think? I don’t want to. How would I feel? That’s embarrassing. I feel shame. I shouldn’t do this. I should do that. We limit ourselves. We dim our lights out of that fear, fear of being judged, fear of being embarrassed, fear of making a mistake, fear of letting go of what turned out to be the best thing in our life, fear of all of these different fears. You got them.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:45]:
I got them. We all got them. It’s okay. And we’re going to use frequency to calm that fear. We’re going to do meditation and frequency to calm that fear and to project out how we want to be. How I think of meditation is meditation is the calming and frequency is the projection. We have to calm first and project second. So many programs miss this.

Lora Cheadle [00:32:19]:
They say you just need to calm down by doing meditation, and meditation is a great way to calm down. There’s many other ways to calm down, but meditation is a great way to calm down. But what those programs miss is the frequency. They miss the putting out the energy. It’s being a lighthouse, and you’re calling things in because you’re projecting your light. Okay. The meditation you use to calm, to calm the fears, to calm that fear of judgment, to get yourself centered, then once you’re in that point, again, clarity, confidence, and sexiness. Once you feel very clear, once you feel very calm, once you feel very confident, once you feel like, yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:05]:
Because sexiness is about being seen. Is it not? If you feel sexy, you’re okay being seen. You’re okay having people look at you. You’re okay if they don’t, but you’re also okay being seen because you can stand in it. You can stand in your sexiness. That’s the frequency. See me. See me.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:28]:
And it’s not see me as an object. It’s not see me as sexy or sleazy. It’s not see me how you wanna see me. It’s see me how I want to be seen. See me, and I’m calming the fear of how you’re gonna see me because how you see me doesn’t define me. So if somebody looks at me and says, you look sleazy or you look frumpy or you look whatever, it doesn’t matter. How do you I feel. How do I feel? If I feel sleazy, I define myself as sleazy.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:05]:
If I feel frumpy, I define myself as frumpy. If I feel powerful and unstoppable, I define myself as powerful and unstoppable. And if you don’t see me as powerful and unstoppable, that’s okay. You can see me however you want. If you think I’m aggressive, fine. That’s on you. It’s not on me. If you think I’m a doormat, fine.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:24]:
That’s on you. It’s not on me. That is how I define sexy. Being sexy is identifying yourself. Being sexy is defining yourself. Being a sexy is being unafraid to put yourself out there and to project yourself as you are without fear, without fear. Because you’re setting other people free to judge you, and their judgment doesn’t mean anything to you. Their judgment doesn’t mean anything to you.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:56]:
And I think this is really kind of the whole the crux, the turning point. That’s why I have it on the Wednesday on the Wednesday of that week. It’s that mid place. How to meditate and calm and then be the lighthouse and push that frequency out so you are unafraid of being seen. So you can make any whatever decision you wanna make, and you’re unafraid. People can see you however they wanna see you, and it’s doesn’t matter because you were the lighthouse. Frequency is being the lighthouse, and it takes practice. And we’re gonna get to that in a minute.

Lora Cheadle [00:35:31]:
But Thursday, Thursday, April 11th, that is another on demand day. Seeing if you can do it. Seeing if you need a plant pole right now, if you need support right now, or or if you’re like, nope. I got this on my own. Great way to test. Thursday is about somatic movement to process pain and reclaim your sexy. Process pain and reclaim your sexy. And, again, what is sexy? It’s not about seeking men or pleasing men or anything like that.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:04]:
It’s about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about being unafraid of being seen. It’s about owning who you are now. Even if you are old, ugly, fat, out of shape, you name whatever it is, what ever that nasty thing that comes up in your head that you say about yourself doesn’t matter. You can be all of that and still feel good. You can still be sexy and you can still be powerful because you can be unafraid to be the lighthouse, unafraid to be seen, and you can still feel good and find pleasure and joy in your body, in yourself, in your essence. So what we will talk about Thursday is why moving with intention and embodying both what you wish to release and what you desire to feel is the fastest way to feel sexy and confident again. And just like I said, most programs that talk about meditation forget the most important second half.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:15]:
You meditate to calm and then you use frequency to project. They only teach you half. Same thing with somatic movements. So many programs out there only teach you half of it. They either teach you how to release, which is great. That’s the part of it. But they don’t teach you how to embody. They don’t teach you how to take on that next step.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:38]:
You need to embody both the pain and where you’re at right now and then softly melt and release that and then embody how you want to be even if it doesn’t quite feel authentic for you yet. You need both. Just like with meditation and frequency, you need both sides of the coin. With somatic processing, you need to process and own where you’re at and decide where you want to be, and you need to move that whole gamut in between because you can’t just jump from one to the other and you can’t just release and then not move into the next step. And that’s what we’re going to be doing on Thursday. And, again, prerecorded, on demand, See if you will do it. And I’m doing this one specifically too because it does take movement and sometimes we need to change out of our work clothes or we need to clear a space in the living room or we wanna make sure our friends or family or coworkers aren’t around. So that’s another reason that I’m doing this one on demand and not live because I want you to feel comfortable and I want you to do it.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:54]:
And I don’t want you to not show up because you’re in the office and you can’t do the movement at that time. But that is going to be yet another really powerful day, and you can see how this is building on each other. You find the seed. You find what seed you’re planting. You set your intention. You go to the subconscious portion of your mind, which is digging in the dirt. It’s digging deep, and you plant that seed deep in the subconscious so you can get all the answers and clear all the blocks. Then the 3rd day we’re moving up to the conscious portion of the mind.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:34]:
So we’ve dug the hole. We’ve put the seed in. Now we’re moving up. What do we need? We need sunlight. We need water. We need fertilizer. Then that 3rd day, we’re doing that calming and we’re doing that projection. We’re giving you that plant pole.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:55]:
We’re giving you, oh, I think we need a little bit more of this. Oh, I think I need to change this. Oh, I need to weed the soil. Then the next day we’re moving it through. We are moving from seed to fruit, from seed to blossom, from seed to full bloom, whatever it is. So you can see how we’re moving piece at a time, step at a time in the spring awakening journey. And then the very last day, we’re going to go live again. Friday, April 12th, we’re gonna go live again.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:36]:
And, again, you can watch the replays. It doesn’t matter. There’s so many different time zones here, and that’s just really hard to find a time, where we can all gather live. But if you can join me live, I would love it because I love seeing everybody’s smiling faces. On Friday, April 12th, we’re gonna talk about the creation and elimination of habits, thoughts, and behaviors. Talk about weeding the garden. Oh, yeah. This is the ultimate weeding of the garden.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:08]:
We’re going to talk about how you can use these tools. Journaling. Journaling is a tool. Meditation. Meditation is a tool. And somatic movement. Somatic movement is a tool to go from stressed out, overwhelmed, sad, whatever it is, agitated, anxious, to calm, to feeling calm and at peace no matter what your journey is. Because the truth of the matter is the betrayal recovery journey is a long one, and you can be on that journey and be calm and still find joy along the way, or you can be on that journey and be anxious and stressed and mad and agitated, and it’s the same journey.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:56]:
Let’s just call it the 1st year, even if it’s the 2nd year or the 3rd year, or, God forbid, the 10th year. That year is going to unfold. With or without your help, that year is going to unfold. With or without your help, the betrayal recovery journey is going to unfold. You have to take that journey. You’re here now. You can’t not take the journey. How are you going to be along the way? How are you gonna be along the way? There’s going to be moments when you’re a total mess.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:39]:
There are going to be moments where you have anger and that anger propels you. There is going to be moments where you are completely despondent and hopeless and you can’t get a puff of the floor and you can’t eat and you can’t breathe and you can’t quit crying. There’s gonna be moments. Yes. But guess what’s gonna happen along that journey too? Holidays, birthdays, events, gatherings. How are you gonna be? How are you gonna be? Are you gonna be a total hot mess the entire time? Or can you create moments along the way? Can you create joy along the way? Can you create something good along the way? Can you find peace along the way? Yeah. You can. Not in every moment.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:40]:
You’re not gonna be skipping down this betrayal recovery path, but you have more control than you think based on what seeds you’re planting. And you’re going to be able to feel okay at least part of the time. Because some some of this, not all, some of it is a habitual. And when you are plunged into the despair of infidelity and you’re feeling horrible, yes, you need to process, yes, there’s a lot of things that are normal, natural about it, and then sometimes then it becomes habitual. And then you are locked into grief, and you’re locked into pain, and you’re locked into suffering. And just like anything else, it’s a habit. Happiness is a habit. Grief is a habit.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:38]:
And I never wanna talk you out of feeling legitimate sadness and legitimate grief, but I also want you to give you the tools and the understanding to know when it becomes habitual and to know when it is time to move into something else and to give you the skills to move into something else. So that’s what we’re gonna talk about. How to go from anxiety, pain, stressed out to just feeling some calm. Maybe not all the time, but a lot of the time. And then same thing, the habits of being going from confused, unsure about your future, stressed out that the next steps are not working, to feeling confident, to feeling confident that no matter what happens, you can figure it out, to be confident that it doesn’t matter if you’re alone. It doesn’t matter if you’re with somebody. It doesn’t matter. You’re confident that you’re making the right decisions for the right reasons and that you can create this next chapter of your life in a way that is healthy and good for you.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:51]:
I’m going to show you how to eliminate the habit of being stressed out, anxious, and confused. How to eliminate the thoughts and behaviors around being stressed out, anxious, confused, and how to reclaim and reestablish and awaken that sense of calm and that sense of confidence. And then, again, I think this is really important. I’m going to help you shift from feeling old and ugly and worthless to sexy and empowered and free. And, no, I’m not talking about a makeover and losing £50 and wearing low cut blouses. That’s not it. That is not it. I’m talking about sexy in terms of being confident in who you are, being able to stand up tall, being able to be seen as you are, being seen not as a 20 year old sex symbol, but being seen as you are in your beautiful glory for who you are at any age, at any size, at any ability because you feel so good in your gut, in your heart, in your body that you can stand up and be seen.

Lora Cheadle [00:47:17]:
You can stand up and be seen confidently because you know you’re good. And you know other people’s judgment doesn’t define you, and you know other people’s judgment doesn’t matter, and you legitimately don’t care. You legitimately don’t care because you care so much about how you feel. And what we’re wrapping up with on that Friday, creational limit of creation and elimination of habits, thoughts, and behaviors so you can feel calm, so you can feel confident, so you can feel sexy and powerful and free. And I’m gonna show you how to do that in 90 days. And you might be thinking, wait a minute. I don’t wanna wait 90 days. It takes 90 days to create a habit.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:12]:
Well, let me go back. It actually takes 30, 31 days to create a habit. But in reality, it takes 90 days, and here is why. In order to create a habit, you need a 30 day run of doing it correctly every single day. You need a 30 day run. How many of us can just out of the gate get a 30 day run? Not many of us. Pretty much nobody. So there’s some false starts in there.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:41]:
You’re like, yes. I did it. Like, for this challenge, you might show up Monday Tuesday. Wednesday, you slip. Thursday, you go, ah, I really wanna get back to it. And then Friday, you, you know, are air in full force. That’s a false start. Things happen too.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:58]:
Illnesses, accidents, injuries, holidays, events, world disasters, you name it, things happen. So, how many false starts does it take? Quite a few. It’s about getting that 30 day chunk, and it usually takes 90 days to get 30 days consistently, give or take. It usually takes 90 days to get 30 days. So that’s why I always say to create or eliminate a habit truly does take 90 days because false starts are normal. False starts are expected. You’re relearning behavior, and it’s not going to come out exactly perfect every single time. So that’s what we’re gonna talk about on Friday is how to structure this for yourself.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:53]:
So you can do these 5 steps that we go through, finding the seed, intention setting, journaling, opening those loops of the subconscious, going deep, why the power has been inside of you all along, moving up to the conscious portion of the mind, meditation and frequency, calming and projecting, somatic movement to process pain and to move into the power and the confidence of being seen, being sexy, releasing judgment, releasing fear, defining yourself. Somatic movement is really about defining yourself. And so many people, I think, underestimate the power of being seen and defining yourself. And that’s why I’m gonna show you how to do it. And then that last date, that last Friday 12th, creational moment and elimination of habits, thoughts, and behaviors. How to put this all together? You know these steps. You know these steps. Now how do we do it? And what’s great is you’re going to get some really good feedback about yourself.

Lora Cheadle [00:50:59]:
Like, can I show up on my own? Is do it yourself a good option for me, or do I need a little bit of accountability along the way? You’re gonna learn that about yourself. And what’s really cool about that is so many of us think differently, myself included. I’m always like, no. I’m a self starter. I can do this. And then I notice a difference because I can’t. One of the things that I love doing is, a morning meditation. I read Course in Miracles, and I read one of the chapters, one of the lessons.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:33]:
Is that hard to do? No. Takes just a few minutes. It’s empowering. It’s enlightening. Whether it’s a daily Bible study or whatever, it’s not hard to do. Right? And yet still, do you know how many times I won’t do it, and I don’t really know why I’m not doing it? So I like to say I’m a self starter, but then I don’t do it on my own. So then I have purchased the service that sends me the video every single day, and they read it to me. And for some reason, that’s easier.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:06]:
I don’t know why it’s easier. I paid for it and I do it. Because I paid for it and I bought it, and it’s being delivered in my email. So for some reason, it’s easier for me to click the button and listen to the video of the chapter being read to me than it is to open up the book that is next to my bed and read it. I don’t know why it just is. But that’s that self knowledge then that helps you understand. So if you really want to accomplish something, you gotta know how your brain works and if you truly can do things on your own or if you need help and if 1 on 1 help is the best or if you like that group support. And this challenge will help you get that information about yourself so you will know what you need in order to succeed.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:55]:
To sign up for this challenge. Again, it’s free, so there is no reason not to. Go to sparkle all season.com. Just put in your name and your email and I will send you the link. I’ll send you the link, and I will also send you the replays. So sparkle all season.com to sign up for the spring awakening challenge. So I hope to see you there. I can’t wait to see you there.

Lora Cheadle [00:53:26]:
Have an amazing week. And, as usual, always remember to FLAUNT exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.

Narrator [00:53:37]:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Have you been struggling lately? Relationship issues impact every area of your life. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I was so devastated. I could barely function. Sleeping was impossible because I couldn’t shut off my brain. Eating was a challenge because I felt nauseous all the time, and for the 1st month or so, everything felt pointless. Whether you’re having trouble sleeping, feeling hopeless, or just can’t focus, BetterHelp is here to help you. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who are trained to listen and help.

Narrator [00:54:15]:
You can talk to your therapist in a private online environment at your convenience. There’s a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp’s 20,000 plus therapist network that gives you access to help that might not be available in your area. Just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you’ll be matched with a therapist in under 24 hours. Then you can schedule secure video and phone sessions. Plus, you can exchange unlimited messages, and everything you share is completely confidential. I know that confidentiality was important for me, especially early on when I couldn’t even get my own mind wrapped around what was happening, and it was so comforting to be able to speak with someone candidly about everything I was going through to validate that what I was feeling and experiencing was completely normal. You can request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime. Join the 2,000,000 plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with an experienced BetterHelp therapist.

Narrator [00:55:18]:
Special offer to FLAUNT, create a life you love after infidelity and betrayal listeners. You get 10% off your 1st month at better help dotcom/FLAUNT. That’s betterhelphelp.com/FLAUNT, fla u n t. Thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast.

Narrator [00:55:54]:
Tune in next time to FLAUNT, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7 AM and 7 PM Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision 7 Radio Network. Uncover the truth of what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal recovery Toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.