In this deeply personal show, I share the astounding revelation that Shawn and I had about being done. Our work together is complete and now is the time to relax, play, and enjoy each other.

Top Takeaways:

• What are Soul Contracts and Karmic Relationships, what does in mean to be in one, and what happens when one is over?
• Lora and Shawn’s new journey and what it means for their marriage and relationship. No, they are not getting divorced!
• How to distinguish between fear of the unknown and honoring what your soul knows it needs to do. Releasing judgment and embracing your most authentic life.

Do you want to know more about Soul Contracts and what might be coming up for you? Let’s have a session and figure it out!

Book and Pay for your session Here: https://buy.stripe.com/3csg205Fu8pQ1RSdQT 

About Lora

Attorney, speaker, and Burnout & Betrayal Recovery Coach, Lora Cheadle believes that betrayal uncovers the truth of what’s possible when we stop focusing on what was done to us and start showing up unapologetically for ourselves. She helps women rebuild their identity and self-worth after infidelity so they can reclaim (or find for the very first time) their confidence, clarity, and connection to source and create their own kind of happily ever after.

Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT

Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile! Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

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Purchase Lora’s book, FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self on Amazon, IndieBound or wherever books are sold.

#divorce #soucontract #karmicrelationships #endofsoulcontract #twinflames #soulmate #surviveinfidelity #healingplan #healingstrategy #InfidelityRecovery  #RelationshipHealing  #SelfLove #SelfWorth  #EmotionalWellbeing  #BetrayalRecovery  #HealthyRelationships #businessandlove #PersonalGrowth  #lifecoaching #Relationships #mentalrehearsal #communication #woundology #RelationshipAdvice  #UnderstandingInfidelity  #HealingJourney  #BoundariesInRelationships  #BetrayalSupport  #PodcastCommunity  #CheatingRecovery  #HealthyConversations #cheating #infidelity #affairrecovery #saveyourmarriage #savingyourmarriage #relationshipadvice #leeharris #soulmagic #santafe

Transcript:

Narrator [00:00:01]:
You’re listening to Flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. A podcast for women who’ve been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim them selves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.

Lora Cheadle [00:00:35]:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Have you been struggling lately? Relationship issues impact every area of your life. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I was so devastated. I could barely function. Sleeping was impossible because I couldn’t shut off my brain. Eating was a challenge because I felt nauseous all the time, and for the 1st month or so, everything felt pointless. Whether you’re having trouble sleeping, feeling hopeless, or just can’t focus, BetterHelp is here to help you. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who are trained to listen and help.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:13]:
You can talk to your therapist in a private online environment at your convenience. There’s a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp’s 20,000 plus therapist network that gives you access to help that might not be available in your area. Just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you’ll be matched with a therapist in under 24 hours. Then you can schedule secure video and phone sessions, plus you can exchange unlimited messages, and everything you share is completely confidential. I know that confidentiality was important for me, especially early on when I couldn’t even get my own mind wrapped around what was happening, and it was so comforting to be able to speak with someone candidly about everything I was going through to validate that what I was feeling and experiencing was completely normal. You can request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime. Join the 2,000,000 plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with an experienced BetterHelp therapist. Special offer to flaunt, create a life you love after infidelity and betrayal listeners.

Lora Cheadle [00:02:24]:
You get 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/flaunt. That’s betterhelphelp.com /flauntflaunt. Thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast. Hello, and welcome to Flaunt. Create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Lora Cheadle, and, oh my gosh, do I have news for you. And, you know, before I share this news, I want you to know that I’m really torn between, like, this big dramatic headline that’s clickbait that brings you all in or a softer headline. The big dramatic headline that’s the clickbait that brings you all in is that Sean and I are done.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:19]:
My husband and I are done. After 6 years, we are done. Now that’s the big dramatic headline. And if you’re like, what? What? What? Let me backpedal and let me soften that a little bit for you. We are done, but we’re not done in the way that you might think. We are done with our soul contract with each other. We are done with this whole infidelity and then post betrayal recovery and then post betrayal transformation. Like, we are done with all of that, but we are not done with our relationship.

Lora Cheadle [00:04:03]:
And I’m gonna go deeper into that because a lot of this is about soul contracts and karmic relationships and things like that. And it’s my guess that most of you were like, what does that even mean? Lora, what are you talking about? What what do you mean? Okay. Here’s what I mean. A soul contract is a contract between 2 souls to grow, to evolve, to learn something, to become something because of your interaction with each other. One of my favorite songs is the wicked song, because of you, I have been changed for good. And that’s what a soul contract is, basically. It’s coming together, having a contract with another soul to interact with each other to the point that you both have been changed for good. You have both learned something.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:03]:
You have both healed something, and you have become something that is better than you were before. And a lot of people going through infidelity or betrayal have some sort of soul contract going on. And what I wanna say around that is this is not just a happy little story. This is not just like, oh, yeah. Well, your soul wanted to evolve, so I just went out and cheated on you so you could learn how to how to step into your own power. It’s not something like that. This is this is deep. If you have a soul contract, if you’re in a karmic relationship with somebody, it just feels different.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:49]:
It feels sacred. It feels powerful. It feels like you are being led to and through your experiences in an entirely different way than you feel with most other relationships. I mean, I say so much about this. This is such a deep show, but I just wanted to give you a little bit of scheme on the outside. What is the soul contract? It’s a soul contract that you have with another soul to learn, to grow, to evolve, to it’s it’s alchemy. It’s alchemy. It’s that you 2 can come together and alchemize into something different.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:31]:
It’s that you can take all of the crap that’s happening, and you can turn that crap into gold. It’s literally turning that crap into gold. Another way of saying that is a karmic relationship. And why I don’t like saying karmic relationship because so many people think karma, like, well, you did this, and you’re gonna have bad karma because you did this. And then you’re gonna be punished, and then I’m gonna get something good because that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s the balancing of understanding. It’s the balancing of spiritual growth. The karmic relationship, like a soul contract, is coming together to work out unfinished business, to take care of things that you still need to take care of to and through each other.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:24]:
And I also wanna say it doesn’t matter what your religious beliefs are or your spiritual beliefs are because this isn’t about religion. This isn’t about spirituality. This is about the soul, the heart, the inner workings of you in your relationship, in your place on the earth and on the planet at this time. So let me go into the story now that we’ve got a little bit of a background on that. Way back when when Sean and I first met in law school, I saw him walking across campus on the very first day of law school, And I literally heard a voice say that’s the man you’re going to marry. And I thought, well, that’s really odd and unusual because I’m engaged. I’m engaged to somebody else. So it’s really, really odd and unusual that I would hear that, but I heard it very strongly in my ear, in my head somewhere.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:26]:
And as I got to know him, I did pay a little bit of attention to it because I was like, Well, that’s unusual. That’s never happened to me before. As I got to know him, I found out that he too was married, and it was like, well, that’s a crazy little voice, but whatever. We went on that year. His marriage had been falling apart. It was, one of those starter relationships right out of college, where it’s your college girlfriend and boyfriend, and you’re like, I don’t know what else to do. Let’s just get married because now we’re moving on. So they had just gotten married and moved on.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:04]:
And the man I was engaged to was same thing, my college boyfriend. And the reason we had gotten engaged was pretty much the same reason that, yeah, well, now that college is done, I think we have to move into the next phase of our life, and that that should include getting married and getting engaged. Right? So over the course of our 1st year in law school, I broke things off with my fiance and his relationship with his wife. It had already been disintegrating. They started divorce proceedings. So I thought that was interesting because I had heard that voice, and I’m thinking, well, maybe we will get together. That’s kinda crazy. And sure enough, when we came back to school for our 2nd year of law school, we started dating pretty much right away.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:52]:
We had been friends all the 1st year, supported each other, had a great time, so we started dating that 2nd year. And what was really interesting about this whole experience, why I’m talking about the history of all of this, is it felt different. It felt different. I had had a fiance before. He’d had a wife before. Our relationship felt different, and it’s hard to put into words why it felt different, but we both felt called to this relationship. Neither of us were really looking to go date some more. We had just gotten out of relationships.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:31]:
We were not looking to date, but we felt called to date. And the connection that we had with each other in so many ways almost seemed too good to be true, too perfect to be true. 1 of our first kind of date dates, we sat down and had we jokingly have called it the interview. We had the interview with each other. Like, what do you want out of a partnership? What do you want out of a marriage? How do you wanna raise kids? How do you wanna do things? What’s important to you? What are your values? What are your dreams? What are your goals? And we were in complete alignment with each other. And it was almost like, That’s almost comical. How could that match up so well? How could this be? So fast forward, we had problems in our marriage. We were very good friends.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:28]:
We had a ton of fun together. We love laughing together, but we had problems in our marriage. As I had explained in the past shows and past episodes, and he has explained too in our joint episodes, I thought marital problems were normal, that people fight and they repair, that people are busy and distant and disconnected, and it’s okay because they came back together. And based on his past, he didn’t feel that way. He felt every single time there was a rupture or a fight or something like that, he felt high levels of stress, high levels of anxiety. He thought the whole marriage was crumbling and that it was not okay. And then I’m sitting there thinking, yeah, it’s normal. Relationships go through up and down, whatever.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:14]:
So we were having these interesting disconnects. Yet, at the same time, we never really wanted to leave each other. And that’s what’s crazy about the infidelity. When we’ve talked about it, he would cheat because he wasn’t happy, because he was insecure, because he thought I was going to leave, Because of all of these different reasons, an infidelity was such a, quote, unquote, perfect outlet because he didn’t have to leave that way because he truly never wanted to leave. And I know a lot of you often say things like, how can he love me and still cheat? Let me just tell you, if he didn’t love you, he’d leave. If he didn’t love you, he’d be out of here. If he didn’t want the relationship to work, he would leave. And I know it’s twisted.

Lora Cheadle [00:13:14]:
And you know what? Humans are kinda twisted, and I know it doesn’t make sense. And you know what? Humans oftentimes don’t make sense. When you’re cheating, there’s that half in, half out. There’s that this is my life over here, and then this is my life over there. There’s that weird convoluted space of not being in and not being out all at the same time. And it’s just I was gonna I almost was gonna say it’s wrong, and it’s wrong, but it that also puts judgment on it that I don’t wanna put judgment on it because, again, most people don’t cheat because they’re bad people. There are some bad people out there. Most people cheat because they’re hurt.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:00]:
Most people cheat because they’re wounded. Most people cheat because something is wrong with them, and it has nothing to do with you or hurting you or not wanting to be married or anything like that. So back to this. We never wanted to leave each other. We he would pick huge fights. He would be a total jerk. When he was going out to cheat, he would be awful. And, yeah, I had moments where I was like, I need to leave him.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:30]:
This is ridiculous. But I didn’t want to leave. And there is a difference I wanna speak I wanna speak to this. There is a difference between not wanting to leave because you’re afraid to leave, and there’s a difference between not wanting to leave because it just doesn’t feel right to leave. And you know what? There’s both. I didn’t wanna leave because it’s scary. I didn’t wanna leave because I had done some divorce work before, and I didn’t wanna go through that. I didn’t wanna leave because I didn’t wanna upend my family.

Lora Cheadle [00:15:02]:
I didn’t wanna leave for all of these reasons that, yes, absolutely have to do with, like, I’m afraid, and I don’t know what to do. And what is this gonna look like on the other side? And I don’t wanna let go of something that I know in favor of something that I don’t know because what if that thing that I don’t know is worse? So, yes, that’s a part of it. But when I would talk myself through that, when I would start digging deeper, what was underneath that was the sense that we’re not done yet. We’re not done yet, and I don’t really know why. And you have to honor that. That has to be honored as well because if you’re not done yet, you’re not done yet. And sometimes we don’t know what that means or why. And having gone back now and unpacked that with each other, he kept having that same sense too.

Lora Cheadle [00:15:58]:
He kept feeling like, I am not done. I’m not I don’t want to leave. I’m not happy. I don’t know how to solve my problems, but I don’t want to leave. So those are some of those pulls, some of those strange differences with a soul contract or with a karmic relationship. You know you’re not done. You know you’re not done. And I’ve said this before too when I found out about the infidelity.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:28]:
Trickle truth, like so many of you, you find out about 1. My husband cheated with 5 different women. You find out about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 producing your, like, oh my god. Are you kidding me? This can’t even be real. When I found out about 1, I was like, we’re done. When I found out about 2, we’re like, we’re double done. As I started finding out more, like, 3, 4, 5, it brought me in because it was like something is wrong. This doesn’t make sense based on who we are, based on who he is.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:00]:
Based on all of this, none of this makes any sense to me. And I kept going back to that feeling inside that we’re not done. We’re not done. And I don’t know what that means, but I know that we’re not done. And I’ve ridden this train for a long time now. It’s been, what, six and a half years. Ridden this train for a long time. And it’s been kind of disturbing to me.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:31]:
Honestly, it’s been disturbing to me. The last few months, I felt like we’re done. For the first time in our 29 years of marriage and 30 some years together, I’ve had this internal sense that we’re done. And it really scared me because I didn’t know what that meant. And, I mean, I thought about I thought about all of you too. Like, really? What does that mean that I’m giving you hope for this relationship, but there’s something inside of me that says I feel done? And then I’m like, no. Honesty and integrity and authenticity, I have to share what I’m feeling. But then I was thinking, I don’t wanna share what I’m feeling if I don’t have a conclusion around that because I don’t even know what that means.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:21]:
So what does that even mean? And how would I share something, and why would I share something when I don’t even know what it means? So I was like, okay. Just sit with this. And then same thing, all of those fears would come up. What would life be like divorced? What would life be like separate? What would how is this gonna work? Is that what I want? And I kept feeling like, no, that’s not what I want. And then I would talk myself through it. You can do this, Lora. It doesn’t matter. You will be taken care of.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:53]:
You’ll find love again. And and I think, yes. I will. And, yes, I can do this. And, yes, I know I can create goodness, but it’s not what I want, but I’m done. We’re done, and I didn’t really know what that meant. So I just kept feeling it and processing and connecting to spirit and praying and meditating and dancing on it. You know, I’m big on the somatic stuff.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:17]:
I’ve been dancing a lot of it. Walking it, thinking it. My shower is like my special connection time to my guides. I would go in the shower and just stand there and connect with my guides. My guides are called the librarians. And if you don’t know, I do a weekly channeling with wisdom from the librarians, and it’s called coffee with the librarians, and I posted on Tuesday on Facebook. So if you’re not my Facebook friend, find me, Lora Cheadle, life choreographer, on Facebook. You can also just, hop on YouTube, and you can subscribe to the coffee with the librarians channel.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:55]:
Anyway, little side note there. Tons of time in my shower meditating, talking to the librarians, trying to figure this out, and I couldn’t quite get it figured out. 2 weeks ago, my husband, Sean, and I went to Santa Fe for a retreat, and Santa Fe has got some incredible energy. If you haven’t been there, I recommend going there, and I’m going to be having a retreat there, next year. And you’re not gonna wanna miss it because Santa Fe is actually the land carries the energy of truth. And when Sean and I had been there a couple years ago, I don’t think we were really ready to face the truth. And I kid you not, the land kicked us off. We were kicked out of Santa Fe.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:41]:
That’s a whole story too. It was 2020, and it was our, 25th anniversary wedding anniversary. And everything was shut down, and we’re like, hey. We’re 5, 6 hours away from Santa Fe. Let’s drive there. On the way down in early September, it started snowing, and we’re like, well, this is insane. And then we got a call from our Airbnb that the toilets had overflowed and that the truck couldn’t get there to clean it out. So even though we were on our way down, we had no place to stay.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:12]:
And we found a hotel and we stayed there. And then our Airbnb people said it’s gonna be one more day, and they were super nice and super accommodating. They were gonna give us the whole rest of the time for free, but we were so radically uncomfortable there. We were like, let’s just turn around and drive back home. And we did. We literally turned around and drove back home because we were so viscerally uncomfortable with the energy around Santa Fe. And at the time, I didn’t know or understand that Santa Fe was the land of truth, and it makes sense. We weren’t ready to see the truth.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:49]:
We weren’t ready to face that truth. You know, I always say betrayal uncovers the truth. Not only about your partner, but about yourself, about the things that are coming up to be healed, about the things that it’s time for you to see that you might not really be ready to see yet. And that’s what happened to both of us. I think we were not ready to see the truth, the truth about ourselves, our relationship, and really what was going on. So midway through this retreat, I just kept having that strong strong sense. We’re done. And the guy leading the retreat, it was the Lee Harris, energy retreat, was talking about soul contracts being done and how, when a soul contract was completed, it meant you had learned everything that you needed to learn.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:44]:
The contract terms were complete. Well done. Check it off. Contract is dissolved, resolved, completed, and it’s over. And I kept thinking, you know what? That’s really interesting because Sean and I are both lawyers, and, obviously, we both love contracts. And, yeah, sure enough, we have done so many things contractually, and you check off the check off each item. I did this. Check.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:12]:
I did that. Check. I learned this. Check. I understood that. Check. I know how to communicate in this way. Check.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:18]:
I’ve developed empathy. Check. I’ve like, check. Check. Check. Check. Check. I have stepped into my power in such a deeper way.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:28]:
I have really understood how I am a creator of my life and my life experiences, how the way I feel and perceive the world is a choice. And it’s up to me. And I’ve really also had to deal with what’s even the right word? When you kind of, like, blame somebody else yeah. It is it is blame. When you’re like, yeah. Well, if my husband would just pull his stuff together well, yeah, if this just hadn’t have happened. When we blame other people, we’re just stepping out of our power, and we’re staying stuck. And I would think about all the years where I would stay stuck because my husband’s a jerk.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:07]:
My husband’s not coming to the party. I’m so put him on. I’m taking care of everything, but I wasn’t owning my power, and I wasn’t speaking my truth. I was just stuck in that kind of victim space of, gosh, lord. It’s so unfair. Your life is so unfair. People don’t appreciate you. People don’t value you.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:25]:
People don’t see how hard you’re working. This is so unfair, so unfair, so unfair. And I wasn’t taking action. I kept wanting other people to value me, other people to respect me, other people to love me, other people to do their healing so I didn’t have to do mine. And it’s so there’s so many layers there because, objectively speaking, Sean, my husband, came from a traumatic background, and he has, quote, unquote, more. He had more issues. He had more healing. He had more wounds.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:59]:
He had more of that. So his were front and center, and mine were more covert. But I still had them. And I think that was the whole point. Like, his were so prominent that everybody turned and focused on him and I including me. And it’s not my job to focus on him. It’s my job to focus on me. And I finally learned that, and it took a long time.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:29]:
But it’s not about me being the patient or loving mom or wife or a worker or coach or anything like that. It’s about me creating my life for me. It’s about me putting myself front and center in my own life because it’s my own life. And that’s not about it’s not about selfishness. It’s about me owning my power because I get one life, and I get to choose how I feel and think and perceive and behave in that life. And if other people disagree, it’s the blessing and releasing. So, anyway, back to contracts, it’s like I learned all that. The beginning stages of a fair recovery were so focused on him and his trauma and his inability to identify or express his emotions or to communicate or to use different tools, and and rightfully so.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:30]:
And he’s done all that. And it was also a time of growth for me, and I did that. But this is that real deep soul growth. This is that deepest level. We fixed everything on the surface. We fixed everything just below the surface. We fixed everything way under the surface, and now we healed at that deepest soul level. And I’m gonna say more about healing at the soul level because this is just something that I’m really stepping into.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:03]:
You know, we talk about healing our lives and healing our bodies and healing our emotions and healing our minds, and that’s really important. But what I wanna say is you have to heal at the soul level too. Souls can’t get damaged, but boy, do they get bruised. And healing at that soul level is what I strive for and what I want you to strive for as well, because it’s more than just moving on. It’s more than that. Healing at the soul level matters. And that’s what sets you free. Okay.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:44]:
Coming back to the story, because these were all of Lora’s internal thoughts that were going on. We’re at the retreat, and Lee Harris is talking about soul contracts ending and relationships ending, and I just kept thinking we’re done. So halfway through, we went out to dinner. We had time for a nice dinner, And we sat down at this restaurant in Santa Fe. And I said, I just had to bring it up. I turned to him and I said, I don’t wanna insult you. And I don’t really know what I mean by this, but I feel like we’re done. And he smiled and he leaned in and he looked at me and he said, I know.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:29]:
And I was on a hike a week or so ago, and I feel the same way. And I didn’t wanna insult you either. And I didn’t want you to freak out, but, yeah, we are done. And just then, just at that moment, our wedding song, our 30 year old Sade wedding song, no ordinary love, came on the radio in the restaurant. It was like, are you kidding me? Why would Sade’s no ordinary love be playing in a Mexican restaurant in Santa Fe 30 years after it came out? None of that makes sense. So we really started laughing, and we just it felt it felt so true. It felt so right. It felt so freeing.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:18]:
I I tell you, I don’t think I have ever felt quite that free to have that discussion. And over dinner, we talked about what does that even mean? What do we want? And it was scary, you know, because I kept thinking, I don’t really want things to change. I don’t want things to change, but I want everything to change. And how do you communicate that? And what we decided is we love each other so much. We want to be together. We want to do life together. We want to share life together. It’s just that we want to redefine what not even what marriage means.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:06]:
What what marriage? What yes and no. It’s not like we want an open marriage. We don’t. We don’t want a divorce. We don’t want to live apart. We want to still be each other’s person. We want to keep growing. But there’s that that push against each other that’s gone.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:31]:
It’s just gone. We’ve done the work. We’ve done the learning, and we no longer need to challenge each other in that way. And even though infidelity has been a huge topic of conversation, And even though we’ve both really truly healed from it and moved on, it’s almost like it disappeared on a whole different level. It’s almost like a dream that happened in the past that you go, oh my god. Remember that crazy dream? Yeah. Do you remember? Ugh. I was so emotional.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:11]:
I was so upset. I know. And I felt it it almost feels like that. It feels it feels surreal. It feels like it is so far in the distant past that it’s not even capable of touching us. Whereas before, it felt like it was in the past, and it felt like it was over, but it still felt like it was real. And after this, it just doesn’t even feel real. And I know that’s a little awkward and hard to explain, but it just it doesn’t feel real.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:50]:
Anyway, we kept talking about that, and we just kept feeling so good and so free. And the whole somatic thing, it was like it came off the back of my neck. It came off the shoulders. It’s the pressure to learn and the pressure to grow and the pressure to figure it out and the pressure all of that pressure is gone, and we just get to enjoy each other. And it’s like, from this point forward, it is pure enjoyment. We can be in joy. We can learn lessons from others and in other ways, but between each other, that’s over. So we had a great dinner.

Lora Cheadle [00:32:34]:
We went back to the conference. My best friend had gone to the conference with us and we walked into the next event with her and she’s like, And we said, we have to tell you something. We have to tell you something. And I said, and before I tell you, I just have to say, you oh, it makes me cry. You have been here for every significant moment in my life. You know? You were my maid of honor. You were my birth coach. You were gonna be there when my kids were born.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:07]:
I ended up laboring laboring and delivering way too fast so she couldn’t be there. She got there late, but you were there. You were there for every significant moment. You were the one that I called when I found out about the infidelity, and I can’t wait to tell you and you can’t Sean can’t wait to tell you. We’re done. Our sole contract is done. And she’s like, I know. It doesn’t surprise me.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:35]:
I kept feeling that same thing, and it feels so good, and I’m so happy. And you 2 were glowing, and this is so amazing. And it was like we were all smiles, and we were all joy, and we were all pure love birthing in this new experience. And then, you know, same thing. She had all the different questions. What does this mean? Are you divorcing? Are you having an open marriage? Are you And we’re like, no. No. No.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:02]:
Nothing is changing. We’re more in love than before because we did it. We’re in celebration. We’re in joy. We are in high fives well done. Let the celebration and the party begin, ma’am. And then when we came home, we sat our kids down and same thing. We’re like, we have something to tell you.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:29]:
And they had the same response. I mean, obviously, they had some fear. They were like, oh, no. Oh, no. What does this mean? What does this mean? And then they said the same thing. You 2 look so happy, and everything feels so fresh and relaxed. Everything feels so good. And it’s like yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:48]:
Because it is. Because it’s amazing. And our week following the revelation, the discussion, was an interesting week because there were some times where we would both kind of default back into quote, unquote normal, you know, into times where he would misinterpret something that I would say or I would misinterpret something that he would say, or I would think, oh, I need to come in and have an opinion on that. And then instantly after that would happen, it was just a different feeling. It was like, oh, that’s not my place anymore. That’s not my role anymore. That’s not our relationship anymore. That’s not us anymore.

Lora Cheadle [00:35:40]:
And we’ve put it all down. We’ve simply put it all down. And, you know, part of me wanted to wait to do a show to give you a a little, like, a a longer look back period. And then I was like, you know what? No. We’re gonna talk about it now. We’re gonna talk about it now in the messy middle. And the reason that we’re talking about it now in the messy middle is because if you’re anything like me, it’s hard to be in the messy middle. I like things tied up in a bow.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:15]:
I like nice little conclusions. I like getting on to the next thing. And when I’m in that middle space, I’m uncomfortable and I’m anxious and sometimes I can’t relax and sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing too much or not enough and blah blah blah blah blah. But most of life is lived in the middle. Most of life is a transition. And I wanted to just do a show now and speak to you from the heart, from the soul, from the messy middle that there are things that I know and there are things that I don’t know. I know our soul contract is done. I know it feels amazing.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:59]:
I know it feels so free. I know we love each other deeply, probably even more deeply than before, which is amazing because the level of love that we have cultivated and curated over the last 6, 7 years is absolutely mind boggling. How can there be more and then there keeps being more? We know we wanna be together because we are partners. We are soulmates now instead of, like, karmic twin flames. We are now, like, into the soulmate thing, and it’s more fun because we made this journey together. What does that actually mean? I don’t know. Do I have to label it? Not really, but I also sometimes like doing it. But we’re staying married because we love each other and we wanna be together.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:52]:
Could that change in the future? Anything could change in the future. Hello? I’m I’m a realist, but I don’t think it will. He doesn’t think it will. And, oh my gosh, is this good? Is this a whole new level of good? And that’s the other thing. Like, we had the post betrayal transformation. We reclaimed our marriage, and it was good. But this is even better. And this is another level that I just didn’t see coming.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:24]:
And that’s what I’d really wanted to share too. There’s other levels. This is another level that I didn’t see coming yet. Here it is. What does it mean? I don’t exactly know. How is it gonna play out? I don’t exactly know. All I know is right now it feels good, and I’m gonna stay with what feels good because I’m worth that. It’s important to feel good.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:46]:
I’m worth feeling good. I’m worth joy. And I’m just gonna stay with us, and I’m gonna speak honestly about it. And I’m gonna let you know, here I am, kind of in the middle, figuring it all out. And I don’t know exactly where it’s going to go and it doesn’t matter because I can be happy now. I can be happy in the middle of the transition, and I will be happy now in the middle of the transition. So in the middle of all of this, I had so many deep revelations and realizations, and that’s why I opened my new one year program, the sanctuary of the soul. Because it’s really brought home to me how infidelity and betrayal is a soul wound, and it’s also a soul gift.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:41]:
And healing your soul is essential, and learning is a soul and soul growth is essential. And sometimes we need that sanctuary space to relax, to heal, to be with others who totally get it and don’t think we’re crazy and don’t judge us. We’re following our hearts for tuning in within and doing what we need to do. And I’ll say more about the sanctuary in a moment. What I wanna talk about now before I lean into all of that is I don’t care if you stay or go. Divorcing is fabulous. Staying together is fabulous. It’s a decision that hardly matters in a way, and I’ve said that.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:31]:
But what I really want you to know is divorcing doesn’t solve the problem. Divorcing doesn’t heal the pain. Getting your partner out of your life does not heal. Having the betrayer out of your life is and can be essential. Divorce can be the best thing you have ever done, but it doesn’t heal the wound. Getting that person out of your life does not heal the wound. It can make you forget about things. It can make you not address things.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:09]:
But it’s not just, bam, they’re gone and the wound is healed. You still have to do the work. And so many of my people that I coach really struggle with do I stay or do I go? And that’s such a deeply personal decision, and either way is fine. I am not a proponent of one way or the other. What I am a proponent of is realizing that either way you have to heal. Either way, you have to heal. Otherwise, it’s always gonna be there. You can’t just cover something up and be like, yep.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:42]:
Well, we’re done. It’s over. It’s not. Either way, you have to do the work, and either way, you have to heal. I say this so often in my shows and to my clients, but it’s like when the neighbor’s dog comes in and poops on your rug. You can cover it up, but it’s still there. You can clean it just a little bit, but there’s there’s always gonna be a stain and there’s always gonna be a smell. Or you can dig deep now.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:14]:
You can hire professional cleaners. You can get the right solutions. You can put in the elbow grease, and you can clean it to the point that there is no stain and there is no smell. And that’s healing. That’s healing. And sometimes divorcing is just throwing a rug over the poop. Sometimes just being like, yay. We rebuilt our marriage and it’s all great, is throwing a rug over the poop.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:41]:
You have to deal with it. You have to heat you don’t have to. But if you wanna be happy, if you don’t want that bitterness, if you don’t want fear, if you don’t want that is he gonna do it again? What’s gonna happen? Am I gonna find love? I don’t trust people. Why is the world so messed up? If you don’t want all that emotional pain and reactivity, you have to do the work and get the right tools and hire the right professionals. You have to take care of it. And then it won’t matter if you’re together or apart because you’re healed. New relationships, old relationships made new, whatever it is, when you’re healed, it’s all okay. And when I have people fill out my coaching application, that’s one of the questions.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:29]:
What does healing mean to you? And for most people, they have all these different ideas about what it means, but it all boils down to it’s released. It’s gone. It’s it’s not constantly running in the background. That fear is not you’re just normal again. You’re free again. You’re relaxed again. And that’s truly is what healing is. You can just you’re free.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:58]:
You’re free to be you. You’re free to trust. You’re free to show up. You’re free to do whatever it is that you need to do. So I just wanted to pop that in. Real quick thing on the sanctuary of the soul well. It’s a year long program. Every month, we have an energy reading.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:19]:
I do the channeling of the librarians for you specifically around soul contracts, around soul growth, around karmic relationships, around where are you? Where’s your partner? What is left to uncover? What do you need to learn? What’s going on with this relationship? Why can’t you let go? Is this a solo reason? Is this a human reason? Is this fear? Is this a mental block? Is this a spiritual block? What’s going on? So once a month, we have those readings so you’ve got some clarity about what’s going on. And then every quarter, we do ritual. We wrap a ritual around this whole year. You get a quarterly full length meditation based on what’s going on for that season, and you also get a quarterly dance, both choreographed and free formed dance, ritual dance suitable for anybody, any skill level. But it’s that somatic processing on integrating. My word for this experience is coalesce. We’re coalescing everything. The healing energy, the seasonal energy, the soul growth energy.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:31]:
So once a quarter, you’ve got the meditation. You’ve got the dance. You’ve got the ritual practice. Once a month, you’ve got the energy readings. So you’re really in the sacred cocoon, and it’s a sanctuary for the soul and we’re really working on going within and healing the soul because as within, so without. When you are powerful on the inside, your life is powerful on the outside. When you’re at peace on the inside, your life is at peace on the outside and people and things and situations that aren’t at peace fall away. And for so many years, I didn’t really understand what that meant, but I get it now.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:17]:
I get it now. I used to think, like, I’m just gonna go be perfect and then all of these perfect things are gonna happen and, woo, look at me be perfect. Why are there obnoxious people in my life when I am so spiritual and I am so perfect? And it’s not like that. People don’t just fall away. They continue to push until you grow and until your issue with them falls away. People are there like the bird under your saddle, constantly irritating until you take action, until you step back into your own power, until you learn, and then it falls away and it doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t matter that that burr is there because it doesn’t impact you. So to say they fall away yeah.

Lora Cheadle [00:47:11]:
They fall away, but it’s your irritation that falls away. And that’s what this year is about. In the year, it’s only $888 for the entire year, or you can pay quarterly. It’s 230 a quarter, which truly is absolutely nothing, and it’s absolutely worth every penny. I am curating this, and I am cultivating this. So if you’re interested, send me an email, laura@lauracheadle.comlora atloracheadle.com. If you get in before 18th, you can attend our free kickoff event, which is an embodied transitions workshop. If not, you can get the replay.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:01]:
And then in September, we’ve got a whole different grief release retreat that we’re doing virtually that’s also free when you’re part of the soul, Temple of the Sanctuary of the Soul. You can purchase those separately, but you just wanna be a part of the sanctuary of the soul. Trust me on that one. And, again, I’m not putting up a landing page because this is personal. This is deep. We just need to talk. We just need to talk. Lora at Lora Cheadle dot com.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:30]:
Lora@lauratee Monthly readings, quarterly rituals, meditation, dance, virtual retreats, all the yummy, delicious, nurturing, and nourishing of the salon. Anyway, thank you. It’s been it’s been an honor to share this. You know? Our contract is done. We are done. It’s over, and we have blossomed and stepped truly into something that feels free, amazing, and new. And for the first time, and I am gonna say that, for the first time, I’m really excited to see what that means and to see what our next chapter is. Because for 6 years, it’s all been about healing and overcoming and rebuilding, and it’s been like work, work, leaning in, leaning in.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:26]:
And now it’s done. It’s done. It’s over, and we have the absolute pleasure and joy of celebrating with each other. And here’s the thing. Whether you’re celebrating together with your partner or whether you’re celebrating alone, I really hope my hope for you, my wish for you is for you to get to this place too where you can be like, what? It’s release. It’s relief. I truly know it’s done and that’s that’s what I want for you. I want that knowingness, that settled, that settled, that total settled that it’s truly over.

Lora Cheadle [00:50:08]:
It’s truly in the past. I have done it. I know who I am. I know how to show up, and I’ve done this. I can’t wait to hear your comments. This has been a big one. Have an amazing week. And as usual, always remember to flaunt exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.

Lora Cheadle [00:50:33]:
Life can really knock you down sometimes, especially after a tough breakup or when someone betrays your trust. It’s hard to remember your own value when the people who should have treasured you didn’t. But I’m here to tell you that loving yourself again is possible even after infidelity. It takes time and intentional effort, but it can be done. That’s where the Mindful Souls subscription box comes in. It’s like getting a monthly dose of me time delivered straight to your door. Inside, you’ll find all sorts of goodies, natural crystals, gorgeous gem jewelry, essential oils, and many other pampering tools. It’s a nice little reminder that, hey, you do deserve to feel good.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:20]:
I know that most of you are crazy busy. You’ve got a ton of people counting on you, and taking care of yourself usually ends up at the bottom of your to do list. But that’s what’s so great about this subscription. They don’t just deliver everything you need for your self care moments. They also give you real practical tips on how to make self care work for you no matter how hectic your life gets. I’ve been a die hard fan of the Mindful Box for a while now, so the Mindful Souls family sent me a special treat for all of you. If you use the discount code Lora 25, you’ll get 25% off your order. That’s l o r a 25.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:03]:
So head over to mindful souls.com and grab your box.

Narrator [00:52:09]:
Tune in next time to flaunt, find your sparkle, and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7 AM and 7 PM Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision 7 Radio Network. Uncover the truth of what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.vc