Women often put everyone else first—until betrayal forces them to rethink everything. In this powerful episode, Lora Cheadle and forensic accountant Tracy Coenen break down why investing in yourself isn’t just necessary—it’s critical for financial security, emotional well-being, and reclaiming your power after infidelity or divorce. From finding hidden assets to making empowered financial choices, this episode is packed with insights to help you confidently navigate this transition.
Top 3 Takeaways:
- You only get one shot at a fair divorce settlement – learn how to advocate for yourself and make informed decisions.
- Most women feel financially overwhelmed – but simple steps (like getting account statements) can empower you.
- Investing in expert support saves money & stress – discover why strategic financial and emotional investments pay off big time.
Tune in weekly for insights, expert interviews, and real-world tools to help you rise, reign, and reclaim your worth.
Ready to heal your body and mind after betrayal? Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with Lora today!
About Tracy Coenen:
TRACY’S MISSION IS TO HELP WOMEN GET BETTER FINANCIAL OUTCOMES IN THEIR DIVORCES
Tracy Coenen is a nationally recognized CPA and forensic accountant. She focuses on finding hidden money in divorce cases and teaches women how to understand their finances so they can get better divorce settlements.
Tracy’s work has been featured on CNBC, CBS, FOX, ABC, and NBC, as well as in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and The Washington Post.
Tracy shows you how to get the right financial information so you can be confident in your knowledge and fight for the money you deserve in your divorce.
Download your FREE Divorce Money Guide at: https://divorcemoneyguide.com/
About Lora:
Lora Cheadle is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, and TEDx speaker who helps women heal from betrayal on an energetic, emotional, and ancestral level—while also providing legal guidance to help them navigate the practical complexities of infidelity and relationship transitions. She empowers women to rise from the ashes, reclaim their identity and self-worth, break free from repeating patterns, and step into their power with confidence, clarity, and grace.
After being shattered by her husband’s fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand what it takes to transform devastation into an invitation for healing, freedom, and joy. Her unique approach blends deep emotional healing with tangible legal and life strategies, guiding women beyond betrayal into lives of unapologetic confidence and purpose.
As the founder of Life Choreography Coaching & Advocacy, Lora provides comprehensive legal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support on demand. She believes that infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the dream you poured your heart and soul into—it can be the beginning of a life filled with sovereignty, connection, and joy.
Licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, Lora is also a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, and advanced integrated energy practitioner. She is certified in yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal training, bringing a holistic perspective to healing.
She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal.
Based in Colorado, Lora is an adventure-seeker who loves travel, a great book, and saying yes to life’s magic.
Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit:
Find Relief, Reclaim Yourself, and Rewrite Your Story
Download your Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today!
Let’s connect! Share your thoughts or questions from this episode with Lora at loracheadle.com. New episodes every week.
Subscribe, like, share, and join Lora Cheadle on your journey to reclaim your sparkle and create a life you love.
✨ Special Offers from Our Sponsors! ✨
Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT
Are you ready to Rise Up, Reclaim Your Story, & Reign as the Queen of your Life? Infidelity may have shaken your world, but it doesn’t define you. You are powerful. You are worthy. And you are capable of creating a future filled with confidence, clarity, and joy. I will walk by your side, giving you the perspective, permission, and wisdom to transform your betrayal into something profoundly empowering. Whether you work with me one-on-one or complete my Affair Recovery Programs from the privacy of your home, you’ll gain the tools to untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and step boldly into your next chapter. Your healing starts now! Learn more at:
www.AffairRecoveryForWomen.com
Visit www.LoraCheadle.com for more resources & inspiration.
READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you’ve always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It’s a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door! Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com and use Discount Code LORA30 for 30% off your order!
- International Book Award, Finalist Motivational Self-Help 2021
• Tattered Cover Bestseller 2019
Are you tired of living a life dictated by others? What if you could break free and be who you are? If you’ve felt trapped by expectations and long to be free, FLAUNT! is the key to unlocking who you are, expressing yourself authentically, and choreographing your life your way.
Unleash the power within and embrace your true self with this transformative guide that empowers you to strip away societal expectations and discover your authentic, smart, sexy, and spiritual self. Through a unique blend of humor, wisdom, and actionable steps, you can uncover your deepest desires and build the confidence to live a life full of passion and purpose.
Buy Now on Amazon, or wherever books are sold.
It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive, is the essential guide for burnout and betrayal relief. Packed with insight and practical tools, this book is a must-have for individuals, teams, and leaders alike. Available on Amazon. Learn more at www.itsnotburnoutitsbetrayal.com
#HealingAfterBetrayal #InfidelitySupport #BetrayalTraumaRecovery #SelfWorthAfterBetrayal #EmpoweredHealing #RiseAndReclaim #HeartbreakToHealing #RebuildingTrust #MindBodyHealing
#EnergyHealingForBetrayal #SelfLoveJourney #BreakFreeFromBetrayal #YouAreNotAlone MindsetShift #VisionFor2025 #FreeWorkshop #VisionBoard2025 #LoraCheadle #NewBookRelease
#PreOrderNow
Transcript
Lora Cheadle [00:00:01]:
You’re listening to Flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal, a podcast for women who’ve been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim them selves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.
Lora Cheadle [00:00:35]:
Here’s what I want you to know about infidelity. What I want you to know about infidelity is it really stinks. Like, it is absolutely the worst thing I have ever been through, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. And the other thing that I know is that there are so many misconceptions about infidelity, and it drives me bonkers. Yes. There are well meaning people out there who want to help, but there’s also a lot of people who have no clue. No clue. Because they’re not in a similar situation than you.
Lora Cheadle [00:01:11]:
They have a very different lifestyle. They have a very different marriage. They have a very different relationship. And I really want to call that out. I wanna call out why you are different, why I was different, and why the information in this podcast is so valuable for you. I also want to say it and just put it out there that I would love it if you would come work with me. Why? Let me tell you. I am an infidelity advocate.
Lora Cheadle [00:01:45]:
I’m not just a coach, a therapist, somebody who who was cheated and has decided to do something on their own. No. No. No. No. No. I am an infidelity advocate. What does that mean? I’m so glad you asked.
Lora Cheadle [00:02:00]:
It means I am advocating for you. I am advocating on behalf of you and your best interest. Sometimes your best interest might not be exactly what you think it is, And together, we will unpack that, and we will figure it out. I will advocate for you. I will help you get what you need, whether it’s from a therapist, a clergy member, a financial planner, or a lawyer. I am going to help you advocate on behalf of yourself so you can get what you need. Communication is essential. It is essential.
Lora Cheadle [00:02:48]:
And when we are activated, when our nervous systems are all out of whack, oh my gosh. It’s so hard to communicate because we’re offline. Our brains are going haywire. And when you work with me, you learn how to identify when you’re out of whack, when your nervous system is activated. And I give you tools and tips and techniques to calm down, to slow down, to create space so you can start communicating. I help you figure out how to heal on an ancestral level, on a solo level, on an intellectual level, on an emotional level, on all the levels. What I do is not about betrayal recovery. What I do is transformation.
Lora Cheadle [00:03:33]:
I help you take this situation that is probably the worst thing that has ever happened in your life, and I help you use it for good. Because that’s what matters, using your situation for good, using it as a catalyst to create something that you want, to become the woman that you want to be. There are several different ways of working with me. Yes. We can meet one on one. We can meet for one appointment. We can meet for three six hundred and twelve appointments. Or my favorite way to work is in a six month container where we walk side by side, hand in hand.
Lora Cheadle [00:04:17]:
You have access to me via the Voxer app twenty four seven. I want you telling me what’s going on so I can whisper back in your ear and be like, okay. Let’s manage this. Okay. What about this? Okay. Think about this. Go see your therapist. Go read this book.
Lora Cheadle [00:04:37]:
Go check out this podcast. Go read this blog. I am like the concierge who will tell you where to go and what to do so you are not left in the dark, so you’re not struggling, so you’re not making mistakes, so you can figure it out and get where you wanna be. And you know what? Here’s the truth too. So many of us don’t know where we wanna be, and that’s okay too. I will help you figure out where you want to be. Because a huge piece of this is the realization that we lost ourselves along the way. We gave up too much of who we are in order to have a marriage, have a family, build a career, do all of the things.
Lora Cheadle [00:05:27]:
And infidelity, the reason sometimes I’m like, it’s a gift, people. It’s a gift, is it gives you that opportunity to go back, to rebuild, to reclaim everything you let go of, to build the kind of relationship that you want, and to become exactly the woman that you know you deserve to be. So if you wanna get information on my programs, whether it’s my six month rise and reign program, my ninety day starting strong program, or whether you’re like, let’s just do a few sessions. I need you in my life. I don’t care if we meet every day or once a week. Go to affairrecoveryforwomen.com. Affair recovery for women Com. There are three links.
Lora Cheadle [00:06:15]:
The first link is to the starting strong program. The second link is to my individual sessions. And the third link, the one I really want you to think about and focus on, is to my RISE and RAIN six month container where we do this together, and I guide you through step at a time. So affairrecoveryforwomen.com, and I can’t wait to see who you become on the other side. Hello and welcome to Flaunt, create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Lora Cheadle. And today, we’re going to tackle a really, really important topic. Today, we are going to talk about choosing yourself, investing in yourself, taking proactive steps that will actually move you forward.
Lora Cheadle [00:07:14]:
My guest today is Tracy Conan, and she is a nationally recognized CPA and forensic accountant. She focuses on finding hidden money in divorce cases and teaches women how to understand their finances so they can get better divorce settlements. She has been featured all over. She and I have worked together a couple of different times. I was on her podcast, and she is just brilliant. And I am so excited to have this conversation with her today. So welcome, Tracy. I’m really glad you’re here.
Tracy Coenen [00:07:52]:
Well, you’re so sweet. Thank you for saying such nice things about me, and I’m excited for us to talk again because we always have a good conversation. And there is so much to be said about empowering women, especially as it relates to their finances, which is my area of expertise.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:09]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Listeners, I’m just gonna give you a little bit of a background. Tracy and I were talking earlier, and, she was sharing. You know, she has this great divorce money guide. She can help women get a better settlement. She can help them understand their finances. And she said, you know, it’s really frustrating sometimes because I offer my services.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:31]:
I know my services help. I know it will benefit women. And sometimes they’ll be like, yeah, I’m not gonna spend the money. I’ll just do it myself. And I jumped in and I was like, oh my gosh. I’m a lawyer. I know how much your legal bills cost. I know if you work with me, I can help you save money on your legal bills.
Lora Cheadle [00:08:52]:
I can help you save money on cost of therapy. I can help you get clearer, quicker so you can make decisions. And I said, same thing. I will talk to women, and they’re like, yeah. No. I’ve gotta save the money for my kids or I gotta save the money for this. And we just had a conversation. Why is it? Why is it that specifically women don’t want to invest in themselves, whether it’s time or money? So that’s the frame.
Tracy Coenen [00:09:23]:
Right. That’s the thing, Lora. I know how expensive divorce is. I know most women I bet ninety percent of women or more feel incredible financial pressure as they’re going through the through the process of divorce. Because not only is it expensive to go through the process and pay for an attorney and maybe your parent paying for a parenting coordinator and a therapist. There are all sorts of things to pay for, so I get it. Money is tight. You’re scared about what kind of settlement you’re gonna get coming out of the divorce.
Tracy Coenen [00:09:53]:
Are you gonna have enough money to pay your rent or mortgage and to put food on the table for the kids when you’re maybe restarting a career, when you’re going from a two income household to one income household? There are tons of unknowns. So I get it. But the products that I offer for women in divorce, they run anywhere from $50 to $900. And I will tell you what, women are getting thousands of dollars more in their divorce settlements because of the work that we walk through, because they need this financial knowledge before they make these settlements. They’re entering into agreements without them even knowing how much money is really in our accounts. Do we have other accounts? There’s so many risks, and it is a little befuddling to me that when it comes to spending an extra 50, a couple hundred, even even on the high end with me, $900, why they wouldn’t do it.
Lora Cheadle [00:10:46]:
Yeah. Exactly. And, you know, I also wanna say because I have the similar similar situation. You can work with me for $97 or you can work with me for $2,900 and everything in between. And I also wanna make it clear that it’s not only it’s not just about money. So often, women will say, like, I just don’t have the time. I’m taking care of my kids. I have to go back to school and reeducate myself.
Lora Cheadle [00:11:14]:
I have to figure this out. And I also wanna say yes and who is the most important person in this scenario? It is you. At the end of the day, you are living with yourself even just taking an hour to read through a document or spending fifteen minutes a day to read your emails or something like that, we can glean so much knowledge that will make us not make us, that will help us be able to put ourselves in a better position.
Tracy Coenen [00:11:48]:
Sure. I understand the time crunch as well. Women take on a disproportionate amount of the work when it comes to the children, especially when getting divorced. And so I know time is really, really tight. So when I was putting together the the divorce money guide, and all of these short videos that walk you through exactly what the financial part of the divorce is, what documents do you need, how do you get them, and what do you look for once you have them? I said, gosh. Someone’s gonna look at this and say, I don’t have the time. So we put together a plan that said, can you put in one to two hours a week in looking at this stuff, in learning what you need to do? If you could do that for four to six weeks, you’d be through it all in just an hour to a week. So when your kids, are gone for the weekend, take a Saturday morning and take two hours with your cup of coffee.
Tracy Coenen [00:12:45]:
Watch a few videos, gather some documents. It’s it’s about I get it that we’re busy, but, really, it’s also about priorities, and you need to be a priority for yourself.
Lora Cheadle [00:12:57]:
Yeah. And I think that’s really the key right there. We don’t prioritize ourselves. And I believe and I’m curious what you think, but I believe our culture really has brainwashed a lot of women into thinking that we need to be in that place of service. We serve our families. We serve our children. We serve our communities. We serve at work.
Lora Cheadle [00:13:23]:
Even strong, powerful women, there’s kind of that belief that our role is to be of service. And there’s nothing worse than a selfish woman. There’s nothing worse than a self centered woman. And I feel like self ish is actually really important because if nobody takes care of me, nobody will take care of me, and then I can’t be there to serve. Serving my family is important. Serving my community is in perp is is important. And I’d love to hear your thoughts about that too.
Tracy Coenen [00:13:56]:
I am with you on that. It is service and sacrifice of self that our culture has ingrained into women. When you look at the amount of free time that husbands have versus wives, there is a disparity there. You know, it’s really interesting when the husband, the dad goes golfing on a Saturday morning on the weekends. Everyone kind of applauds that. Like, oh, great. He’s getting out, getting some time for himself. He probably had a really long week.
Tracy Coenen [00:14:27]:
If mom does the same kind of thing and has an activity that takes her away for half a day that she’s, you know, quote, leaving the kids behind, there’s a lot of negative judgment that goes along with that. And so we have set these odd standards that you know, I I get it. We evolve as a culture over time, but those standards need to change. Women need to feel like it’s okay to take care of themselves. And, yes, being of service to your family is noble. It is good. It is beneficial to your kids and to your spouse. But when you are completely sacrificing yourself in order to do that, you are going to burn out, and then you’re not gonna be as good for them anyway.
Lora Cheadle [00:15:12]:
Exactly. Exactly. One of the things that I do when I work with women is I do a lot of work around identity. Because as a wife, as a mom, we lose our identity. And then when infidelity comes up, betrayal comes up, we start looking at a divorce and questioning it. Most women say, I don’t even know who I am. I I don’t know I don’t know who I am. I am his wife.
Lora Cheadle [00:15:36]:
I am their mom. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what I want. And it’s really important to get your identity back. And to your point, when I because I lost my identity too. I really did. I I totally lost myself. I gave up too much along the way.
Lora Cheadle [00:15:55]:
And as I have gone through those steps of reclaiming my identity and coming back home to myself, I am a more richful person for my kids, for my partner, and for myself. So, yeah, you’re right. We have to keep leaning in and taking care of ourselves, whether it’s time or money or I’m a big proponent of both.
Tracy Coenen [00:16:21]:
Divorce is a terrible process that I wish upon no one, but it’s a reality for lots and lots of us, unfortunately. Yeah. And the thing is that, you know, some people say you can get bitter or you can get better, and I love the better. It is a time where you can rediscover who you are and what you like. And what you like now might not be the same things you liked before you got married, but take the opportunity to say, I wanna know what’s important to me, what I like, and and develop who I am as a person separate and apart from who I am as a mom. I mean, so many women who are getting divorced, their number one identity is mom and wife. And, unfortunately, when you’re going through divorce, that vision of yourself necessarily must change because whatever dreams, hopes you had for the future, all that’s going to be different now.
Lora Cheadle [00:17:13]:
Yeah. And that’s okay. And it’s scary. I wanna validate that. It’s very scary. But that’s why sometimes I don’t think people understand the difference between, like, therapy and coaching. Therapy, you can dig and you can work into some of your deep dark childhood issues. You can really go deep.
Lora Cheadle [00:17:33]:
You can look into the past. You can figure out things like, you know, depression, you know, clinical depression, anxiety, ADHD, some of those things. Coaching is about finding the tools that will get you over the hump in the moment. So what you talked about okay. I’m getting divorced. I thought I was gonna be a wife and mom. I thought we were gonna grow old together. And now suddenly, I’m launched into something different, and it’s creating a huge sense of stress and anxiety.
Lora Cheadle [00:18:00]:
And I’m moving into fight, flight, or freeze. One moment, I’m looking at the college catalog trying to recreate a new career and figuring out what education I need. Another moment, I’m laying in bed crying my eyes out thinking what can I do to make everything go back to the way it was? Coaching is about giving you those tools to manage that. How can I bring myself back into a regulated state so I can both breathe properly and lean into the future?
Tracy Coenen [00:18:31]:
I’ve always thought of therapy as being very history and past focused and coaching being very future focused. Absolutely. That’s what I love about coaching is it is this opportunity to build things for yourself, look towards the future, figure out strategies for, I do need to cope today, but there’s an awful lot of goal setting and working towards something better when you’re working with a coach, I think.
Lora Cheadle [00:19:00]:
Yes. Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more. Okay. Now that we’ve kind of got this venting and all of this out of our systems and hopefully riled some listeners up, like, yes. I’m gonna claim me. Yes. I’m gonna take care of myself.
Lora Cheadle [00:19:15]:
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let’s walk through a little bit of the process of some of the things that you do and that you offer. And what I’d like to do is talk about the emotions that maybe come up when that happens, and then I can hop in with some of those tools to help manage those emotions.
Tracy Coenen [00:19:36]:
Well, let’s start out by saying that I’ve been a forensic accountant for twenty five years. So the main thing that I offer is fraud investigation service. So Yes. Services. So that’s my that’s my main gig. So I work with attorneys on behalf of their clients. A lot of that is corporate stuff where executives are stealing or companies are engaged in money shenanigans. Some of that is in the divorce space, often for people who have lots of money and really complicated financial situations.
Tracy Coenen [00:20:05]:
And then, you know, there’s stuff, you know, with families fighting over money and things like that. So that’s all of the fraud investigation work that I do. Mhmm. And I have the divorce money guide, which is, you know, the divorce money guide itself is a big course, and we have smaller courses if people just wanna focus on one area of the financial stuff in their divorces. So that is an opportunity at a much, much, much lower cost to get some, guidance from me as they’re going through the divorce process. And then I have free stuff for people who are just not in a position to get anything like that. I do have my podcast. Mhmm.
Tracy Coenen [00:20:41]:
I have my love and money summit that happens on a yearly basis that people can attend for free. And so I’ve got things like that that are available to people because even if you can’t afford to buy something from me, I still wanna be a resource for women, primarily those who are going through divorce. But when other life transitions are happening, my resources are great to help with the money as well.
Lora Cheadle [00:21:03]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And let’s start with a very broad base here. I think okay. I I I feel some shame admitting this. And I just wanna say this because I think other women are in the same position. I’m a smart, educated woman. I have made money.
Lora Cheadle [00:21:21]:
I was an attorney for ten years. I processed, you know, money for other people. When it came to our finances at home, I kinda dropped the ball. I wasn’t involved in our investments. I wasn’t involved in how much life insurance that we have. I just slowly started letting my husband do that. And then it kind of came to the position where I didn’t even know what I didn’t know because I had been busy. I was working.
Lora Cheadle [00:21:50]:
I was raising a family. I was taking care of things. Things were flowing. I figured he he he’s got it. So from a very broad lens, what are the things that we need to know? What does it even mean to say no about your money? Is that just looking at your bank account and saying, yep. We can make the bills or nope. We can’t?
Tracy Coenen [00:22:11]:
Okay. Let’s start and address the shame though because the position that you were in is the position that most married women are in. Yes. There are lots of women who handle the money for their households. There are lots of women who know what’s going on with the money for their households, but there is a larger percentage that doesn’t know and isn’t involved. So the first thing, knowing your money. Wait. So I was saying, don’t be ashamed because there are lots of other women like you.
Tracy Coenen [00:22:38]:
Exactly. I wanted I wanted to make sure that we put that out there that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Lora Cheadle [00:22:42]:
No. It’s not. And you’re right. There’s so many most of the women that I work with will say the same thing.
Tracy Coenen [00:22:48]:
Great. And you trust your spouse. You are right to trust your spouse. That’s part of marriage. Okay. So knowing your money is where it’s all all at. You know, I want people to have the facts. So I want you to know how much money you have, where it is, and what your money is being spent on.
Tracy Coenen [00:23:08]:
And the most basic way that you get that information is by having account statements. So you know that you have a checking account. Seeing those account statements tells you how much money you have. Glancing down that list of transactions will show you what your money is being spent on. You probably don’t know if there are other accounts. Is there an investment account out there? Hopefully, your husband’s gonna be forthcoming with you about that when you say, you know what? I wanna understand. I wanna know where we have accounts. If something ever happened to you, it would be important for me to be able to know where things are.
Tracy Coenen [00:23:42]:
But if your husband isn’t forthcoming with you, what are you gonna do? Well, that checking account that you know about, let’s look at all those transactions and see if there’s a a transfer to another bank account, a different bank, an investment house, something like that.
Lora Cheadle [00:23:56]:
Yeah. And that’s huge, especially in the infidelity space. When men are cheating and they don’t wanna get caught, they’ll open a different account. They’ll have a different credit card. There’ll be something because they don’t want their actions to be traced. And then women get confused and then fearful. What else is going on? Where is this money coming from? Where is it going?
Tracy Coenen [00:24:18]:
But here’s what I will tell you as a fraud investigator. Most of those guys who open those secret accounts mess up in a way that we can find them. Because they’ll open a secret bank account, but they have to get money into it somehow. So they’ll make a transfer from our joint checking account. They know that you haven’t been looking at the account statement, so they don’t have any fear in doing that. They think that transfer will never be seen by you. They might open a secret credit card, and they might pay it out of your joint checking account. So I like to show women how to find those things.
Tracy Coenen [00:24:49]:
It’s super easy to find. These guys rarely cover their tracks. And so be assured, if some of that stuff is happening, you have a really great chance of finding it.
Lora Cheadle [00:24:58]:
Yeah. Yeah. Or even in my case, my husband would just do cash withdrawals, and he would do a series of really high cash withdrawals. And I would ask, what’s going on with this? And, of course, he always had an excuse. But at some point, when you’re saying, somebody’s taking out $500 a week? This isn’t making sense.
Tracy Coenen [00:25:20]:
Right. Right. And they’ll sometimes say, oh, I used that money to put gas in the car or to pay for my lunch every day. And then you go look at the credit card statement or the debit card transactions, and you see they were filling up the gas. They were paying for lunch with that. So whatever they said about the cash wasn’t true.
Lora Cheadle [00:25:39]:
Yeah. Exactly. And that feels scary and that feels threatening, but you’re right. It’s not that hard once you start looking at it.
Tracy Coenen [00:25:49]:
Right. Here’s the thing, though. So women are feeling intimidated by it. If you’ve been out of the financial stuff in your family, the thought of trying to figure out what’s what, what documents do I need, doing the whole thing, it feels really, really, really overwhelming.
Lora Cheadle [00:26:07]:
Mhmm.
Tracy Coenen [00:26:07]:
And I totally get that. I mean, I I’ve worked with hundreds, thousands of women doing this kind of thing. And so what I would say to that is, first, just get the documents that you have easy access to. You know there’s a checking account. Your name is on them. Let’s just get those documents. Don’t think beyond that about what am I gonna look for or how am I gonna dig into them. Let’s just start with baby steps of Yeah.
Tracy Coenen [00:26:30]:
Get some account statements. And I will tell you from experience working with women, having those account statements in hand is really empowering. Even if you don’t yet know what to look for or what you’re gonna do with them, just having them and knowing, I can have this information is really empowering.
Lora Cheadle [00:26:48]:
Yeah. It really is. And even backing that up one step, if you’re like, I don’t even know, you can go to the bank and you can get help. If your name is on an account and you’ve never done a a login online, they can help you get set up. Yes. People are there to help us, and I cannot emphasize that enough. We get in that thought pattern of, I don’t know. I don’t know.
Lora Cheadle [00:27:11]:
There’s nobody to help. There’s nobody to help. There’s a lot of people that are out there to help.
Tracy Coenen [00:27:16]:
There are a lot of people out there to help, and there are people like me where I’ve taken, like, this basic process. One of the things that we do to start with is start making a list of the accounts that you know about or anything that you know about. Maybe you don’t even know what specific accounts you have, but you know we bank at Chase. I know that we have an account there. I don’t know anything about the account number. I’m not sure if my name’s on it or not, but I know that we do business there. Then you put Chase down on the list. And you have a credit card in your wallet.
Tracy Coenen [00:27:44]:
We’ll put down, you know, where that credit card is from. We just start listing out the information you have no matter how little it is, and we start kind of jogging our memories about things that you’ve talked about. You know, I know last year, I signed some papers at the lawyer’s office, and I didn’t read them, and it wasn’t explained well, really, what I was signing. Not sure about that, but I signed something. Great. Let’s put that on the list that something was signed at the lawyer’s office. Can you remember about what month it was last year? Well, it was summer of last year. Great.
Tracy Coenen [00:28:14]:
Let’s put that down. And what I find is that women are when they’re going through things like this and kinda keeping this running list, And then they sleep on it a little bit, and the next morning, they’ll wake up and say, oh, I thought of something. There was another time where I signed an application for a loan.
Lora Cheadle [00:28:32]:
Mhmm.
Tracy Coenen [00:28:32]:
And we just keep adding to this list. And so there are people like me who will start walking you through some of these easy steps that you can start taking, and you will be surprised at how much you know that you didn’t realize you knew.
Lora Cheadle [00:28:47]:
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I I can appreciate that. And on my side, when I’m coaching women, when I’m working with them, and they’re going through this process, what I see in them is such a feeling of empowerment. They go from being afraid to being like, I found this and I figured it out. And even if it’s, like, bad financial news, they can be excited about it.
Lora Cheadle [00:29:10]:
I found out we’ve got this. Good. You were empowered. Until you know what it is, you can’t fix it. And Right. I also wanna, yeah, jump in. When you’re doing this, it’s not like you have to sit down and do it in an eight hour chunk. One of the things I teach a lot is tools to re regulate and calm your nervous system.
Lora Cheadle [00:29:31]:
Okay. Let’s do some tapping. Let’s do some breath work. Let’s turn on one song and do one dance break. Even if you’re not engaged in it, you’re like, I hate doing a dance break. Well, Lora said do a dance break. I guarantee you’re gonna feel better at the end of that song, and then you can go back with that fresh mind and that clarity, like you said. Oh, I remembered something else.
Tracy Coenen [00:29:55]:
Right. I love the idea of doing something like set a timer for thirty minutes and put your head down and follow the steps for for thirty minutes. And when that timer goes off, you are free to get up and be done for the day. Now what I find is the women I work with often, by that thirty minute point, they’ve made some progress in what they’re doing. They’re feeling so accomplished. They’re like, I could do another fifteen minutes of this, and they keep going a little bit. The most important thing to me is that you get started. Right? You start taking an action because that’s where I see the biggest stumbling block is this feeling of being paralyzed.
Tracy Coenen [00:30:31]:
I’m I’m afraid of what I might find. It feels overwhelming that there’s a lot of work to do. I don’t really know where to start. But if you can get some help, someone who can show you where to start, and then you start taking those small actions and you start to feel accomplished, Your confident is confidence is going to build. And even if you can’t imagine right now how that would be that you’d feel confident, just trust me that I’ve been through this so many times and it happens.
Lora Cheadle [00:30:58]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Two things that I wanna say around that. I’m trying to decide which order I should do it in. I’m like, which way do I wanna talk about this? Number one, as an attorney, what I wanna say is you get one shot at a divorce settle settlement. One shot. You can’t go back in three years when you finally figured out you have time and re redo it.
Lora Cheadle [00:31:25]:
You get one shot. I like how you talk about just start, just move forward. You are in more control of the divorce timeline than you think. Yes, there’s a court calendar, but yes, if you need some extra time, usually, you can get some extra time, because it’s really important to get it right. So working with your attorney, if you’re like, I’m still in the process, financials are not coming together, the court is not going to force you to get divorced. Ask for what you want. Advocate for yourself and for what you need because you can’t go back and unring that bell. You got one chance to get it right.
Tracy Coenen [00:32:08]:
I say it all the time. On my social media, on my website, you’d have one shot, just like you said, to get this right, and it is about having the right information. And if you are standing in front of a judge saying, I just found out that there’s another bank account that my husband never told me about, and I feel it’s important that I would be able to see the account statements for this and know what was going in and out of the account. I don’t know of any judge that is going to tell you, no. You may not do that. Now I’ll say in the rare case where there have been some weird shenanigans on the part of both spouses and things have been dragged out and games have been played by everyone, yeah, maybe a judge is gonna say, okay. Enough is enough.
Lora Cheadle [00:32:52]:
Yeah.
Tracy Coenen [00:32:53]:
But we’re talking a normal divorce where you have acted properly, you have been engaged in the process, you’ve been trying to move it forward. A judge is especially gonna look at your efforts there and say, hey. She’s been diligent about trying to get the information, understand it all. There is it it doesn’t hurt the judge if you’re given some extra time.
Lora Cheadle [00:33:13]:
No. Absolutely. And also and I know all states are different, and I also know different countries people from other countries other than The US listen to this podcast. So I know it is different in different jurisdictions. But in most cases, if there is significant fraud discovered after the fact, you can have that put in your divorce decree too. In the event that an additional account is found, something is found, then your partner will get damages. What I mean by that, because that probably sound like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. I just worked with a client.
Lora Cheadle [00:33:48]:
They got divorced. Ten years later, when he passed away, they found out that he had some life insurance policies that had not been disclosed in the settlement, and his ex wife was not the beneficiary on those policies. Now we’re talking ten years later, we’re talking death. However, she was able to go back to court and prove these had been hidden, these were not disclosed, and she did get a portion of the proceeds of those life insurance policies. So that’s another thing to think about. If you truly are concerned and you’re trying, you can always put that in your divorce decree too. In the event that something was hidden, we’re gonna reopen something. But you know what? Just do it in just do it now.
Lora Cheadle [00:34:37]:
Just do it now.
Tracy Coenen [00:34:39]:
Do your homework now. Don’t count on finding something later. Some people count on maybe reopening a divorce case. I hate it when divorce attorneys say, let’s just sign off now. We can always go back to court later if we need to. No. It is so hard to reopen something. It is so expensive.
Tracy Coenen [00:34:59]:
Do your homework now and get as much information as possible so you’re making the best informed settlement that you can.
Lora Cheadle [00:35:06]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Because this case, this example, it’s now been in probate for two years. And the probate state can’t settle, and it’s a mess. And quite honestly, my client is spending more in attorney’s fees than she’s probably going to get at the end of the day anyway. Ouch. Yeah. It’s not a pretty not a pretty position.
Lora Cheadle [00:35:27]:
Now the second thing I said there were two things. The second thing I do wanna take a deep dive into is some of the forensic accounting. A lot of my clients, do have significant amounts of money and own businesses, sometimes joint businesses, sometimes they each own their own, sometimes accounts get mixed up. Can you talk a little bit about what is forensic accounting? What can be done with that? What should be done with that? How does that work?
Tracy Coenen [00:36:01]:
Forensic accounting is investigating the numbers. It is very heavily based in documents. So I need account statements. I need accounting records from a business and things like that. Sometimes people think that somehow as a forensic accountant, I’m magically going to be able to go out in the universe and wave a magic wand and figure out if there’s an account here or there. It doesn’t work like that. What I find is very much based in the documents that we have. Yes.
Tracy Coenen [00:36:30]:
I find hidden accounts, but it’s because I’m working with account statements for the accounts we know about and things like that. So I spend a lot of time looking at bank statements, credit card statements, investment account statements. I am tracing money through those statements, figuring out where it bounced around. So for the cases that I work on personally, there’s often ten, twenty bank accounts and investment accounts, and I’m watching money bounce from one account to another to another to another, and we’re trying to figure out, at the end of the day, okay, what of all of the accounts we have, what money came in and where did it come from, and what money went out and where did it go to? And is there any money that we can account for that might have kind of leaked out of the system into a secret account? Or is there money that went out for inappropriate things like gambling, drugs, affairs, things like that?
Lora Cheadle [00:37:25]:
Mhmm. It’s a serious it’s a serious thing. It’s not just, oh, I’m really mad at my husband, and I’m gonna put this forensic accountant on them, and they’re gonna figure it out. This is this is serious. Can you can you let listeners know approximately? And I know I know cost is hard to invest, or assess because it depends. But what depends. But what might they be looking at financially if they feel like they need a forensic account?
Tracy Coenen [00:37:53]:
So for me, the cases that I work on are often between 25 and $50,000 in fees. It can easily go up from there if you have a really complicated situation. You can find forensic accountants who will say, I can get started for $5,000, or I can get started for $10,000. That’s probably not what it’s going to cost you by the time you’re done with them, and so you need to get more clarity on what that cost is going to be. But, 25 to $50,000 is a good range to think about. What I do for my clients, though, is when I’m getting started on a project, it is not a wild goose chase. It’s not one of these, I’m just suspicious of everything, so let’s do a big project. It’s really based on what information do you have today that suggests there is something going wrong, that there might be something hidden.
Tracy Coenen [00:38:45]:
So in most cases, there will be something that someone found. Well, I found a bank account that he had never told me about. And if there’s that, I’m worried that there’s more. Or there are these five suspicious things that have happened with our money that he has no explanation for. So I’m looking for some sort of concrete information or evidence that suggests something is going wrong so that I can help you make a decision. Does this make sense to spend a bunch of money to investigate? We can also start an investigation that is a little bit controlled. Mhmm. So do something, with a limited scope.
Tracy Coenen [00:39:25]:
Okay. First, we’re gonna look at these three accounts, and here’s what we’re looking for. And based on what we find there, we’ll make a decision later if we’re gonna do further investigation and expand what we’re doing.
Lora Cheadle [00:39:36]:
That makes sense. That absolutely makes sense. So for the women out there who are thinking, but I kinda want a wild goose chase. I kinda just want somebody to look at this and tell me if something is suspicious. What would you say to them?
Tracy Coenen [00:39:50]:
There are times where it makes sense if you need that to get your peace of mind. Peace of mind does have a price. If you have the money to spend, if this is affordable to you and you say to me, I will not be able to sleep at night unless I know I’ve done everything I can to make sure that things are on the up and up, that I know about all the numbers. If that’s your situation, I will most likely take that case on and say, okay. We’re we’re all on the same page. We don’t know what we’ll find if anything, but this is something that you can afford and that makes sense for your financial situation, and the peace of mind to you is worth it to spend the money. So it can be done. I like that you said peace
Lora Cheadle [00:40:36]:
of mind because it’s important to know what we’re after. And if you’re after peace of mind, that’s wonderful. If you’re after getting money back, that’s a different story. And speaking of getting money back, I’d like you to give a realistic picture to the listeners. You go through this. You find all this stuff. You find all this money that’s been spent, you find things that are maybe in the, you know, the ex soon to be ex husband’s name, it’s not in your name. What can people realistically expect? It’s not like you come in and say, you bad naughty boy.
Lora Cheadle [00:41:13]:
You give her that money back. Or, we need to talk to that affair partner she know now owes you $20,000. Talk about the realities of that.
Tracy Coenen [00:41:24]:
Well, the reality is if money was gambled away, spent on drugs, spent on an affair partner, you’re not getting it back. If money was put in an account overseas, you’re gonna have a really hard time getting it back. Right? People put money overseas for a reason. It’s very hard to go through their court system to get it back. But here’s how we do, quote, get money back. When you have assets that you are dividing, there is a house and there’s equity in that house. There’s a value there where typically we might be looking at a case saying, okay. That value needs to be split fifty fifty.
Tracy Coenen [00:41:59]:
Well, if we find evidence that your husband wasted a hundred thousand dollars on an affair partner Mhmm. We can ask the judge to award you more of the equity in the house or more of the retirement account or more of their investment accounts. So what we’ll do is we’ll try to get that money back in dividing the assets.
Lora Cheadle [00:42:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for saying that because it’s about justice, and it’s about how we can create justice. And the reality is some judges care more about justice than others. Yes. You know, and I hate to say that, but it is true. Some judges are like, no. This is a fifty fifty state.
Lora Cheadle [00:42:40]:
Fifty fifty it is. But many states are what’s called equitable distribution. What is fair? And in a case like that, if somebody has wasted a hundred thousand dollars, squandered those assets, what is fair is giving you more assets or giving you more of the retirement account.
Tracy Coenen [00:42:58]:
Well, I will say even in those states where they are very strictly fifty fifty about things, if you can come forth with credible evidence that is put together well to show, judge, I know fifty fifty is the starting point, but there is this hundred thousand dollars of our family’s money that was wasted. I would like credit back for my part of that. They will listen to that. They will consider that.
Lora Cheadle [00:43:22]:
Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that again goes back to the advocacy. You have to be aware that it’s there. You need to have the knowledge, and then you need to be able to advocate clearly and effectively on your own behalf or to your attorneys. That’s another assumption. When I work with women, I do a lot of legal consulting.
Lora Cheadle [00:43:42]:
I no longer represent clients, but I will legal consult. And it blows my mind. So often, women will say, well, my attorney should know that. Well, I’m sure my attorney will figure that out for me. Your attorney has, what, fifteen, twenty other cases actively going on in this moment? It’s not that they don’t love you. It’s not that they don’t want a good settlement for you. They don’t know what you don’t tell them. And then sometimes they don’t even know what you want or what you expect for that.
Lora Cheadle [00:44:15]:
And that’s one of those things in those legal consultings where I will get help women get very clear. This is what’s going on. You need to communicate this to your attorney. Here is how you need to do that in terms that the attorney will understand that this is relevant and applicable to this situation right here, right now. Go.
Tracy Coenen [00:44:36]:
In most divorce cases, you’re gonna be required to turn over bank statements. And many women think when they hand those bank statements to their attorney, that their attorney is going through them and looking for things that are amiss. Number one, you don’t want your attorney looking for that. That is your attorney is an expert on the law, not on numbers. Mhmm. But number two, no. Almost none of them look for that kind of stuff. When they are collecting those bank statements from you, it is because they are collecting them in order to turn them over to the other side and to meet an obligation that they have in the case.
Tracy Coenen [00:45:10]:
They are not going to look for hidden money or other shenanigans for you. You have to be the one to take the lead on that and say, I need to look into these numbers, or I need to have someone look into them on my behalf.
Lora Cheadle [00:45:23]:
Mhmm. Absolutely. Thank you for saying that. Because as an attorney, I did divorce law for a while. But one of those things, it was it would be very frustrating because clients would act like I was their mental health professional. They would act like I was their financial planner. They would act like I should know these things. I went to law school because I don’t do numbers.
Lora Cheadle [00:45:45]:
Let me just tell you that right off the bat. You’re right. I collected things because I was supposed to. At that time, I wasn’t educated in the mental health field. I can’t counsel you. I can’t give you advice. I will file your case and I will advocate for what you tell me to advocate for. And that’s why having a team is so important.
Lora Cheadle [00:46:08]:
And that goes right back to the beginning of the show, investing in ourselves, investing money, time, building a team. You need a team. You don’t just need a lawyer. You don’t just need a coach. You just don’t need a CPA. You need all of them. You need them all. You need them all.
Lora Cheadle [00:46:30]:
Most people who
Tracy Coenen [00:46:30]:
are getting divorced rely on their attorney for everything because that’s how, traditionally, divorce cases were thought of. It was like you hired a lawyer, you let them go to town with things, and you were gonna get your divorce over with. And it’s just not the way. Like, I tell people that think of your lawyer as an expert on how the law in your state works.
Lora Cheadle [00:46:53]:
Mhmm.
Tracy Coenen [00:46:53]:
And the process of going through court. Right? The process of we need to file this motion. We need to ask the judge for this. Then we’re gonna have this kind of hearing. That’s what your lawyer is there for, but there’s so many other things that happen in a divorce that is not part of your lawyer’s area of expertise. Your lawyer is not an expert on parenting plans. Now I’ll tell you, your lawyer probably has seen a lot of parenting plans, but that doesn’t mean that they’re an expert on, hey. What are some great ways to craft a parenting plan to protect me in case my ex does this, this, or this?
Lora Cheadle [00:47:30]:
Mhmm. Or the needs of the children. If your if you have any kind if you have any kind of children, I’m guessing they have got some some kind of special needs, whether it’s ADHD, whether it’s you’re on the spectrum some somewhere, whether it’s a physical, emotional, all kids have different needs. I have two kids that have wildly different needs. A parenting plan does not take those needs into consideration. A parenting plan looks at the statutory, you know, guidelines of, hey, three days on, two like, it doesn’t take the needs of your family into consideration. That’s why parents, advocates, guardian ad litems, all of these other professionals can come in and say, you know what? In your case, your child needs this. Look at their age.
Lora Cheadle [00:48:16]:
Look at their neurodiversities. Look at all of these different things. And again, going back to kinda where we started. Okay. So somebody hires you on the divorce money guide and things like that and they spend almost a thousand dollars. Or they hire you and you do some big forensic accounting. They hire me. Maybe they’ve put in $5 between the two of us.
Lora Cheadle [00:48:39]:
What are you gonna get back for your $5? Let’s look at that return on investment. Emotionally, you’re going to go through this process, and you’re going to feel better. You’re going to feel confident, like you talked about that peace of mind. You are not going to be second guessing yourself. You’re not gonna be three years after the the divorce saying, oh my god. Did I do this right? Was this a mistake? What if? What if? What if? What if? You’re also going to save in attorney’s fees. How much are you gonna save in attorney’s fees if you can give your attorney a packet? Here’s here are the financial statements they’ve been analyzed. Here’s what’s going on.
Lora Cheadle [00:49:14]:
Here’s what’s going on. I mean, you will say, so you invest $5 in working with you and me at the same time. You’re probably gonna save $10 at the end of the day through a divorce. And what is your peace of mind worth?
Tracy Coenen [00:49:31]:
I know it’s hard to think about let’s spend money to save money, but in this legal landscape, it’s so true. Think about your attorney and those hourly rates, and every time you place a phone call or send an email, you are being charged. That adds up so quickly. I work with so many women who say, gosh. I put down a $5,000 retainer. I put down a $10,000 retainer, and it was gone in a month or two. And I had no idea. I thought that was gonna take me almost through the end of my divorce.
Tracy Coenen [00:50:00]:
So it’s expensive to work with attorneys. And so every time you are hitting up your attorney for something that’s not their area of expertise, all you’re doing is flushing money down the toilet. Yes. So, yes, we are talking about spending money, but it’s about spending it more wisely and in a more efficient way that gets you better information and better results and then saves you money with the attorney.
Lora Cheadle [00:50:24]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I just wanna foot stomp the attorney thing. When I was practicing, people would call, they would ask me these questions that weren’t in my area of expertise. So I’m billing you for the fifteen minute phone call. Then what I do is I go to the other people in my firm. Hey, my client asked this. What do you think about this? What’s going on with that? Me asking other people in my firm is not free.
Lora Cheadle [00:50:47]:
I am now billing you for my time saying, hey, Tracy. Can you help me out with this? My client just asked about forensic accounting and I don’t know what that is. You’re telling, I’m billing my client. So your fifteen minute phone call is not a fifteen minute phone call. It turns into thirty more minutes of me consulting with other experts trying to get you your answer. Where if you would have just invested with Tracy, invested with me? Is it a cost? Of course, it’s a cost. But it’s our area of expertise. It’s somebody else’s area of expertise.
Lora Cheadle [00:51:21]:
So when you said efficiency, I was like, hallelujah. Hallelujah. It is efficient.
Tracy Coenen [00:51:28]:
Absolutely. And when I’m working with clients, you know, I aim to be efficient with the time, but to show them here’s here’s what you’re gonna get at the end of the day when we’re done with this. Right? I have the knowledge and resources to know, hey. If you have this issue, we do a, b, and c. If you have a different issue, we do d, e, and f. I’m not
Lora Cheadle [00:51:49]:
having to go research, what the heck do we do?
Tracy Coenen [00:51:49]:
Who do I ask? Been there, done that. I can research what the heck do we do? Who do I ask? Been there, done that. I can just do exactly what needs to be done.
Lora Cheadle [00:51:57]:
Yeah. Yeah. To wrap this up, there are a couple of things that I wanted to say. First and foremost, listeners, I don’t want you to feel listening to this show like, oh my god. Tracy and Lora were just like, spend all the money, hire all the people. To me, it’s not about that. It’s about centering yourself. What do I need? I’m worth it.
Lora Cheadle [00:52:22]:
This may feel tangential, but it’s not. There is a study out there that shows, and I’m probably getting the numbers a little bit off. But women will only apply for a job if they meet, like, 95, 90 eight percent of the criteria. Whereas men will apply for a job if they meet, like, 45 to 50% of the criteria. Wow. Yeah. And I go back to that a lot because it just shows men will take the chance. They will get the help.
Lora Cheadle [00:52:53]:
They will put themselves out there. And yes, I’m being stereotypical here. But I know myself. I always think I can do it myself. I can be resourceful. Oh, I don’t quite qualify. Oh, I need to learn more. Oh, I need to do this.
Lora Cheadle [00:53:06]:
And I’m always trying to bootstrap myself. I can build it myself. I can do it myself. I can be the little house on the prairie woman and I can just do all of my own things. It’s a little martyred. It’s a little self sacrificial. And I wanna ask you as a listener, are you that way? Do you get the help that you need? Or do you always think, oh, I don’t need that. Oh, I don’t need that.
Lora Cheadle [00:53:34]:
I can do it. I can make do. I can make do. And if you’re like I used to be, check check yourself. Is it valid that, yes, I can make do, or are you subtly diminishing yourself? Are you subtly not stepping in and owning your worth? What’s that all about? And I really ask you to think about that, whether it’s getting financial help, whether it’s getting coaching or legal help, or even whether it’s hiring a house cleaner. They’re small things. Are you choosing yourself, or are you sacrificing yourself?
Tracy Coenen [00:54:16]:
I think as it relates to divorce, it’s important to know that there are options. Yes. We are talking today about spending money to get a better settlement in your divorce. We know that it’s expensive, but here’s the deal. You don’t have to spend all the money. Just explore your options. See what’s out there, what’s available to you. Talk with different professionals.
Tracy Coenen [00:54:39]:
Look for people who come well recommended, who appear honest and forthcoming. When you work with someone like me, I will say, here’s what I’m seeing in your case. Here are some options about what you could do, and there’s gonna be a different cost to each of those. As a professional, this is what I would recommend because it’s where you get the biggest bang for your buck. I am all about telling my clients and potential clients, no. You don’t need to do the great big project. We could do a smaller project and really make some gains for you and your case there, and then we could always decide to do more. But I’m the kind of person who will be honest and look out for your interest and spend your money as if it was my own.
Tracy Coenen [00:55:19]:
Right? If this was my case, what would I do? And what’s interesting is there are forensic accountants out there who will not recommend to a client which project to do, the the small, medium, or large project. And I and they won’t do that because they say, well, if I make a recommendation and then the case doesn’t turn out well, maybe maybe I’m on the hook for something. Something. And I say, listen. A lot of these folks have never been involved in a court case before. No. They’ve never worked with a forensic accountant. They don’t know how to make a decision on this.
Tracy Coenen [00:55:48]:
So I wanna put myself in the place of, if this was my money that was being spent and that was my divorce, what would I want done? What would be the best recommendation that I would have for someone like me?
Lora Cheadle [00:56:00]:
Yeah. I I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that. And like you said, for peace of mind, sometimes we spend money and we don’t get dollar for dollar money back. But what we do buy is our own sanity. What we buy is enjoyment along the way. What we buy is present moment connected time with our kids. Sometimes money doesn’t buy physical things, it buys that emotional experience.
Lora Cheadle [00:56:25]:
And I can’t say enough about that because really we only have one life. So where can listeners learn more about you, have access to the divorce money guide? Where can they work with you more?
Tracy Coenen [00:56:38]:
They can find me at divorce money guide dot com. You can find me on the socials, also divorce money guide. I’m super easy to find. And that’s the place to start where we have a lot of those do it yourself type of resources if you wanna start gathering information. If you have a situation that goes beyond that, you certainly can reach out and contact us, and we can talk about those one on one options and the other things that we have available.
Lora Cheadle [00:57:01]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Listeners, definitely check her out because it again, it’s dipping your toe in. It’s getting educated. It’s how do I know what I don’t know? This is how you start knowing what you don’t know. You know where to find me, laura cheadle dot com. Download your betrayal recovery toolkit. Oh my gosh.
Lora Cheadle [00:57:18]:
I’ve got a new one that is about to be launched. It’s a great toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com. Have an amazing week. And as usual, always remember to flaunt exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.
Lora Cheadle [00:57:38]:
Tune in next time to flaunt. Find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7AM and 7PM Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision seven radio network. Uncover the truth of what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.