Energy Healing For Betrayal

You’ve listened to all the podcasts and read all the books. You understand, on an intellectual level, what happened, and you’ve worked to both forgive and accept what happened. But you don’t feel healed. Most affair recovery programs address betrayal on an intellectual or spiritual level, but they don’t address healing on an energetic level. Unless you heal the betrayal wound energetically, you will continue to attract betrayal. You will continue to feel in pain. Let me show you how to heal betrayal on an energetic and soul level.

Top Takeaways
  1. Identify and Reset the Frequency of Betrayal:

How you feel about yourself, what you expect out of life, and what you are and are not willing to tolerate matters. More than just mindset, your beliefs about yourself can attract or repel betrayal experiences.

  1. Release Betrayal at an Ancestral Level:

For eons women have experienced betrayal. Women have been subjugated, oppressed, and suppressed, being forced to live lives untrue to who they were. This created an imprint of betrayal in our DNA that needs to be healed.

  1. Reclaim Divine Sovereignty:

Realizing who you are on a soul level, reclaiming your divine sovereignty, and learning to reign as the queen of your life is what allows your energy field to heal, reset, and empower you through the rest of your life.

Are you ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let’s talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.

Work individually with Lora or complete her online Rise Up & Reign Affair Recovery Program in the privacy of your own home. Learn more at www.AffairRecoveryForWomen.com

About Lora:

Lora Cheadle is an attorney, TEDx speaker, and betrayal recovery coach who helps women turn their devastation into an invitation to rise up and reign. Whether reclaiming what they let go of along the way, rebuilding their identity, or stepping into a stronger sense of self-trust and self-worth, Lora’s expert guidance empowers women to uncover the truth™ of what they are capable of and deserve. After being shattered by her husband’s fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand the skills and strategies necessary to stop feeling broken and start living fully and freely.

She is licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, is a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, advanced integrated energy practitioner, and is certified to teach yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal train. She is the author of the International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller, FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self and host of the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. She lives in Colorado and loves travel, adventure, and a good book. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com

Get Relief Now!

Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today!

Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT

 

Untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and own your worth so you can create a future you love on your own terms. All with a wink and a smile! Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

 

 

 

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FLAUNT!: Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self, author Lora Cheadle

 

Purchase Lora’s book, FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self on Amazon, IndieBound or wherever books are sold.

Take the Lead in the Dance of Life, Strip out of the Past, and Choreograph Your Future Today!

 

 

 

Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

 

 

 

 

Transcript

 

Narrator [00:00:01]:
You’re listening to Flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. A podcast for women who’ve been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim them selves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.

Podcast Advertiser [00:00:35]:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Have you been struggling lately? Relationship issues impact every area of your life. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I was so devastated. I could barely function. Sleeping was impossible because I couldn’t shut off my brain. Eating was a challenge because I felt nauseous all the time, and for the 1st month or so, everything felt pointless. Whether you’re having trouble sleeping, feeling hopeless, or just can’t focus, BetterHelp is here to help you. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who are trained to listen and help.

Podcast Advertiser [00:01:13]:
You can talk to your therapist in a private online environment at your convenience. There’s a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp’s 20,000 plus therapist network that gives you access to help that might not be available in your area. Just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs, and then you’ll be matched with a therapist in under 24 hours. Then you can schedule secure video and phone sessions. Plus, you can exchange unlimited messages, and everything you share is completely confidential. I know that confidentiality was important for me, especially early on when I couldn’t even get my own mind wrapped around what was happening, and it was so comforting to be able to speak with someone candidly about everything I was going through to validate that what I was feeling and experiencing was completely normal. You can request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime. Join the 2,000,000 plus people who have taken charge of their mental health with an experienced BetterHelp therapist.

Podcast Advertiser [00:02:16]:
Special offer to flaunt, create a life you love after infidelity and betrayal listeners. You get 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/flaunt. That’s betterhelphelp.com /flaunt, f l a u n t. Thanks again to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast.

Lora Cheadle [00:02:52]:
Hello, and welcome to Flaunt. Find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal. I’m Laura Cheadle, and today we are going to talk about the importance of healing betrayal on an energetic, a soul, and an ancestral level. If you really are serious about healing betrayal, not just getting over it, not just moving on, not just letting time go by so pretty soon you’re not thinking about things as much, but if you’re really truly interested on healing on healing and changing who you are and the frequency that you resonate at, then this is the show for you. Okay. Let’s talk about what it means to heal betrayal on an energetic level, on a solo level, and an ancestral level. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna tell you a little story. As you might know, if you have followed me for a while, I just returned from an incredible trip to Egypt.

Lora Cheadle [00:04:07]:
And it was one of those trips it was like a soul pilgrimage where you go with the intent of figuring some things out, putting some pieces together for yourself so you can really become a different person. I had several intentions as I went, and this was with a group of spiritual people. This was with a group of seekers. This was with a private curated group of people who were all into this whole spiritual realm and who all had very similar types of intentions. Now several of my intentions were first one was to show up in my mastery, to really get a working understanding of what my mastery was and who I was and what it meant to show up as the fully expressed version of myself at all times and in all ways and in all things. And that that was a tall order, and I’ll say more about that a little bit later, throughout the show. My second intention was to understand the root of betrayal, to understand where betrayal first showed up in me and to go back to the beginning, to go back to the first time, and to start healing those betrayal wounds coming forward. So those were 2 of my big intentions.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:40]:
My third intention, it was a little bit smaller, a little bit more personal, but it was to make my body the vessel for more to purify this body, to purify this temple, to purify myself, to be able to hold more, more light, more love, more energy, more power, more everything. So I could give more. And that’s what really got me thinking about healing betrayal and healing betrayal of the energetic, the soul, and the ancestral level was having these intentions and going to Egypt and spending 2 weeks with myself. I was alone and not alone. I went with 40 other people, but they were people that I didn’t know. So it was spending time with myself, but in a supportive community that really allowed me to grow and start understanding what these things meant. So the first thing that I addressed was betrayal, like I said, because betrayal was a big part of my life. It’s what I do.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:54]:
It’s how I work with you. It’s how I work with other people, and I wanted to understand more. And I wanted to understand why some people heal so quickly and other people just hang on for years and years and never really feel better. And while I know part of it is a choice, part of it is skills and tools in getting help, I also thought there’s got to be something more because a lot of people that I work with come to me from other programs, and they’ll say, I don’t understand. I did so and so’s program. I did so and so’s training, and it actually made me more angry. Or I feel like once I left so and so’s community and found yours, I’ve healed so much more quickly because it’s more positive and it’s not keeping me trapped in this whole bitter cycle. And I get that because when I was on my own betrayal recovery journey, I found some of the support out there to be really supportive, and I found some of it to be kind of toxic.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:07]:
Not kind of toxic, very toxic, very disempowering. In certain communities, I felt like not felt like I was shamed for trying to stay. I had people tell me it was a bad decision. I had people telling me I was fooling myself, and it was like, well, first of all, you don’t know me. You don’t know my situation. And second of all, where do you get off judging another person like that? When somebody’s asking for insight or help, you can support. But, basically, people are healthy, whole, and complete on their own, and they’re perfectly capable of making their own decisions. And they are the experts of themselves in their own lives, but they need help and they need insight and they need they need holding.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:54]:
They don’t need somebody cutting them down or telling them that they’re being stupid or trying to make decisions for them. So I totally get that, but it still made me wonder why do some people heal and why do some people don’t heal. So I started deconstructing what healing means. What does it mean to heal? And I realized that in most communities, in most programs, in most healing spaces, healing is really based on the mind. People talk about getting therapists and having marriage counseling, and they’re working at things at the level of the mind. They are thinking things through. They are seeing things in a more linear fashion. My husband had a traumatic background.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:51]:
My partner’s attachment style is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah based on and it’s this very headspace stuff. It’s understanding why somebody was so broken that they had to cheat. It’s understanding trauma. It’s understanding, oh, did you have a mother wound or a father wound? It’s very headspace. It’s very intellectual. And, you know, there’s some great things about that. It was really helpful for me to understand why my husband’s cheating had nothing to do with me. It was very helpful for me to understand he was cheating because he was broken.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:34]:
He was cheating because he couldn’t communicate. It helped me understand he couldn’t communicate and he was broken because of the trauma of his past, because of the trauma of his childhood, because of all of those things. That helped me to understand having that headspace intellectual understanding helped me to understand. And then I started breaking it down a little bit further though because I’ve always been about body, mind, spirit. I’ve always been about all of the things. Yes. I’m passionate about the intellect. Yes.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:13]:
I talk a lot about understanding and figuring it out, but that’s only a piece of the puzzle. The bottom line is we also are emotional. We’re energetic. We have emotions and feelings running through our body that quite frankly have nothing to do with the intellect. The heart wants what the heart wants. We feel the way we feel despite logic. And I know I felt that a lot too. Like, when I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I wanted to stay together.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:52]:
I wanted to be in love. I didn’t feel like we were done with our story. I didn’t feel like we were done. I still felt like I was in love. And it was confusing because my head would say, he cheated on you, Laura. He cheated on you multiple times with multiple women for many years. What the heck are you doing? And my head said, it makes no sense. My head said, don’t stay.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:26]:
This is never gonna work. My head said, don’t be a fool. But my heart, my emotions said something totally different. And it was hard to reconcile those two things because when I would think about having my husband leave, when I would think about going through a divorce, when I would think about spending the rest of my life separated or in a different relationship, it wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t what my heart wanted. And it wasn’t in terms of fear, like, I’ll never get another relationship again or what if I mean, yes, I had those thoughts too, but my emotions were telling me that I was still in love. My emotions were telling me I wanted a Cinderella story. My emotions were telling me I wanted a fairy tale with a happy ending.

Lora Cheadle [00:13:22]:
Even though my head said, get over it, Laura. This is ridiculous. And when you reconcile those parts of yourself, that’s a whole different level of healing. I can have the intellectual understanding of what happened and where my husband’s vulnerabilities got the best of him and where my need to control and to be perfect created other problems and exacerbated his pain and how we cocreated with our own pain the perfect storm, the perfect situation where cheating was kind of an option. Not taking responsibility, just saying I co created this relationship. I danced a dance in this relationship. And I understand that now, and I’ve made peace with that now. And I have forgiven myself for the part that I played, and I’ve forgiven Sean and his parents and his family and everybody for the parts that they all played.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:34]:
So that intellectual understanding was there, but the heart, the energetic reconciliation wasn’t quite there yet. And that’s the first place that I want to talk about today: how do you change your energetic structure? How do you change your frequency? How do you heal yourself on an energetic level? Because you’ve probably heard the phrase like attracts like and that we attract the frequency that we are vibrating at. And that’s where it really kind of started dawning on me as I was in Egypt and doing this work was how many of us do vibrate at the frequency of the betrayed women throughout history have been betrayed by men, by power, by the patriarchy. Women have been the holders of so much light and love and have been dismissed generation upon generation upon generation. And it was interesting being in Egypt where women have decidedly less rights than they do in the United States and other western countries. It was interesting to look at that and to see how few choices the women truly did have And to frame that in terms of betrayal, it doesn’t matter how smart you are or how pretty you are or how good you are or capable you are. If you live in a society where you’re shut down, you’re shut down. If you’re in a relationship where somebody controls you, you are controlled.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:27]:
If you live in a patriarchy, it doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest one in the room. If there are people who have more power over you, you are still the underdog. And that’s a betrayal. It’s a betrayal of who we are on a soul level. Because on a soul level, we’re all the same. We’re all equal. We are all divine. And as souls, I really believe that we know that.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:59]:
We know that we are all equal. We know that we are all beautiful. We know whether we’re the victim or the victimizer, whether we are the betrayer or the betrayed, that we are still a beautiful soul. So then when we’re put in a situation where we are not treated like the divine sovereign beautiful soul that we are, it feels like a betrayal because it is. And then we grow up believing that to be true because it’s the society. It’s our culture. And that’s a betrayal of self. When we are told and taught that we need to sacrifice ourselves, when we are told and taught that we’re not worthy, that other people are better than us because of their gender or race or position or whatever it is, that’s a betrayal.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:59]:
It’s a betrayal of who we are on the divine spiritual level. And that’s what starts that frequency of betrayal running in our body, in our energetic system. It starts when we’re little girls. If you look at a lot of the research about, like, school and how little girls tend to be more verbal than little boys and how little girls talk more, But then once they hit a certain age, they start talking less. They start answering questions less often, even though they know the answers, they start shutting themselves down. They start catering to males and all of these things start happening where we change ourselves. So it’s a total betrayal of who we are and who we know ourselves to be. And what’s significant about that is we know that we’re doing it.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:04]:
We know that we’re being quiet because we want to be liked. We know that we are pretending to be dumb because we want to be attractive. We know that we’re doing all of these things in order to get something, but that is a betrayal of who we are. When we make ourselves smaller, when we try to fit into a mold, we’re betraying ourselves. And then we’re bringing in that frequency and that vibration and that energetic blueprint of somebody who is betrayed because of the ways that we have betrayed ourselves all along by not speaking up for ourselves, by not showing how smart we are, by worrying that we don’t wanna make somebody look bad or look make them feel like they’re stupid, by being too nice, by sacrificing ourself for somebody else’s benefit. And then that energetic frequency of betrayal starts getting locked into our blueprints, into our system. And we move through life with the energy of don’t mind me, with the energy of I can handle it. It doesn’t really matter, with the energy of I don’t really matter.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:25]:
I’ll put you first, With the energy of you are primary and I’m secondary, I’ll put myself in the cracks. And it’s subtle, but it matters. And that’s what I mean when I talk about healing yourself on an energetic level, you can’t just leave your spouse and think that it’s going to heal betrayal. You can’t just do some forgiveness work and forgive yourself and forgive your spouse and pray it away. You can’t just headspace it away and meet with a therapist every single week and go deep on both of your childhoods and figure it all out and heal it. Those are parts of it. Understanding is a part of it. Praying in spirituality is a part of it.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:20]:
Forgiveness is a part of it. But it’s it’s the work on that energetic level that really matters. It’s the way that you vibe in life. How are you betraying yourself every day? What are the small things that you are doing that keep you last in your own life? Small things like not working out when you say you’re going to work out. That’s betraying you and your body. When you say you’re gonna work out, whether it’s a high intensity workout or just strolling in the park or stretching, when you betray yourself and your body by being too busy to work out, that’s the energetic blueprint that I don’t matter. Don’t put me first. When you don’t choose healthy foods and nourish yourself through healthy food and healthy water.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:23]:
When you just constantly eat bad, it’s a betrayal of yourself. It’s telling yourself, I don’t matter. My body doesn’t matter. It’s not a priority. Other things are more important. I can’t work out because I can’t be good because because all these other things are more important than what the knee. I’ve raised kids too. I was basically a single mom because my husband traveled 2 weeks out of every single month, and I was alone with the kids.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:57]:
And it’s a lot. And I constantly betrayed myself. I couldn’t work out because I had to do things for the kids. I couldn’t meditate because I had to do things with the kids. I couldn’t do this because I had to get the laundry in. I couldn’t do that because this, because that. And it’s those small things along the way that really matter. And, yes, if your kid is sick and something is really truly going on and it’s kind of a one time thing, it’s not a self betrayal.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:31]:
But it’s living that way chronically. It’s living in a way where everything else is more important. The laundry is more important. The house is more important. The kids are more important. Your neighbors are more important. Your job is more important. That’s the kind of betrayal that I am talking about, that living life where you are never a priority, where you are guilty and feel guilty when you make yourself a priority.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:01]:
When you take time away and you read or you relax or you just go take a walk, you feel guilty or you feel like you need to justify it. That’s self betrayal and that’s an energy then that starts emanating and emitting from you and everybody around you starts picking up on that. And when they start picking up on that, it becomes your identity. It becomes who you are. You are the self sacrificing one. You are the martyr. And here’s the evil twist. When you do that, do you feel proud? When you do that, do you feel a little holier than that? Because I know I did.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:51]:
I know there was a part of me that felt proud over how much I could sacrifice and how much I could do over how put upon I was, that I was the single mom. I was the lone wolf out there while my husband worked and traveled, and I was doing it all on my own. Not only was I doing it all on my own, but I looked perfect doing it. And I kept a perfect house, and my kids were so involved in everything. And I was so involved in everything. And it was this sense of pride that I don’t need sleep, and I don’t need time away because I am dedicated. And I will lead in and I will do it right. And I am the perfect woman, and I am the perfect wife.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:38]:
I am the perfect mom. And really, that’s not who I was at all. Who I was was somebody who performed. I performed my life really, really well. I played the part. I played the part of the perfect wife and the perfect mom, and I did a dang good job. But who suffered was me, and I didn’t see it. I didn’t see that I was the one that was betraying myself.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:17]:
I didn’t see that I was creating an energetic blueprint for somebody that really was hollering, take advantage of me because I put myself last anyway. You might as well put me last too because I know how to be last. I know how it feels to be laugh last. I know how to make being last okay. I think that was the real kicker for me. I took pride in being able to create magic out of nothing. When we were hurting for money, I can create magic magic moments for my kids with very little money. I could save.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:56]:
I could create magical meals by clipping coupons, by taking taking things and making new things out of things that we already had. It was like this whole almost survivalist attitude that it didn’t matter. I don’t need anything more than scraps. I can make magic out of scraps. I am that good. And the thing is when you start settling for scraps, the universe starts sending you more scraps because it says, oh, she’s fine with that. So I would smile through the pain. It’s okay that my husband’s gone.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:35]:
It’s okay that I feel emotionally neglected. It’s okay that we haven’t had a real great conversation because he’s always gone and busy and I’m totally stressed out with the kids. I can manage it. I can just make lemons or lemonade out of all of these lemons. I wasn’t making lemonade. I was betraying myself and I was teaching myself and everybody else around me that I could go last. And that’s what I mean by an energetic level. How were you treating yourself? Are you vibing of the level of somebody who doesn’t need anything more than scraps? Or are you vibing at the level of somebody who is a queen, who is a divine goddess, who absolutely can make do with anything, like less can make do with nothing? Are you this goddess, this queen who absolutely can make do with nothing, but who also will not tolerate that, who will not settle for scraps, who will not settle for less.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:56]:
It’s the stepping into your power and your agency and your sovereignty as a divine being, as a soul that changes everything on the energetic level. And it wasn’t until I really started realizing, wow, I can treat myself a lot better than this. I deserve more. I don’t need to perform anything. I get to be, I get to be who I am perfectly imperfect. I don’t have to perform. I don’t have to prove. I don’t have to settle for scraps.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:35]:
I get abundance and I get love and I get to be cherished and I get to put myself first and I get to take up time and space, and I get to use resources on me. That was a big one for me for the years I was staying at home, and my husband was making the money even though yes, I was working so hard at home, even though yes, I was working part time with my wellness coaching business, even though I was doing all the things, there was a part of me that felt like I can’t use resources on me. That’s a self betrayal. I can spend money on me. I am entitled to that. I am worthy of that. This healing that took place on the energetic level has taken a while because it’s taken so long to deconstruct all of the ways that I sacrificed myself and settled for less, but then also all the ways that growing up in society and culture and my family, I also settled for less. How I played the role of the good girl, how I suppressed some of the things that I wanted to do because they were they wouldn’t look right.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:58]:
It wouldn’t be right. It’s not the right thing to do. How I was encouraged to be quiet, how I was encouraged not to rock the boat, how how I was encouraged to betray myself in order to fit in, in order to get what I was supposed to get. I was told, play the game, get the grades, just do it right. Play the game, get the grades, do it right. Wear what they tell you to wear, say what they tell you to say, do what they tell you to do, put up, shut up, smile. So healing myself on an energetic level really had very little to do with the actual infidelity in the affair. It had to do with the way that I was treating myself.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:54]:
It had to do with the way I was showing up in the world. It had to do with the ways that I was putting up with a system, with the patriarchy, with beliefs, with friends, families, neighbors, whatever, when I really didn’t have to put up with any of it if it wasn’t authentic and true to me. And once you start going down that rabbit hole, your blueprint changes. You become different, and you start saying and doing things that in the past would have felt hard to say or do, but suddenly no longer are hard to say or do. I remember going back when I was dating in high school when I was very first, you know, doing that whole dating thing, how sometimes it was really hard for me to speak up about things that I wanted. You know, somebody would say, do you want this for dinner or do you want that for dinner? And in my mind, so much I would default to, well, what do you want? Or what do I think that they would want me to say? Instead of just saying what I wanted, I would try to tailor my answer to something that would please them because I wanted to be pleasing to my dates. I wanted to be chosen. I didn’t ever give thought to if I am my authentic self and they love me authentically, then we’re free.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:34]:
I gave thought to how can I be more perfect for them? How can I please them, and how can I make myself pleasing? And as I have healed on this energetic level, I don’t worry about making myself pleasing to other people. I worry about making myself pleasing to me. And when I please myself, I am in my strength and I am in my power. I’ve talked a lot about reclaiming your power, reclaiming your agency, you know, sovereignty, all that good stuff. And sometimes the people that I’ve coached or the people that I’ve talked with will talk about that, and they’ll say, you know, what do you mean by power? I I’m not an aggressive person. I’m not a domineering person. I don’t have a high powered career. I I I’m not really interested in power.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:34]:
And here’s what I wanna say about power. There’s a couple of different ways to look at it. There’s the the traditional worldly warrior power way, And that’s not what I’m talking about, nor do I think that’s the real definition of power. When you look at the spiritual masters, they’re powerful, and they’re powerful because of their compassion and because of their ability to create peace and their ability to be present with themselves and their ability to hold strong to their internal ideals. And that’s what I mean when I talk about power. I have found my power. I have reclaimed my power. My greatest wish for you is for you to be able to reclaim your power too to step fully into your power.

Lora Cheadle [00:35:26]:
And by that, I don’t mean psycho crazy screaming your head off barging through like a bull in a china shop power. I mean power in the sense that you know who you are and you’re never going to settle for less because you have dignity, because you have grace, because you have strength, because you know who you are. You know you are a divine child of God. You know you are inherently worthy. And that’s what I mean when I talk about power because that is power. That is powerful. And when you heal yourself on the energetic level, you know that. You’re not performing that.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:11]:
You’re not pretending that. You know that you’re everything. You know that you’re everything just the way that you are, and you know that you deserve to be chosen and cherished and loved and supported. You are graceful and you are filled with compassion and beauty and love and light. And then when you start vibing at that level, other people can’t help but treat you that way because that’s who you are. You have that divine queenly goddess energy. And I think we all know people like that. We all know people who just have it.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:53]:
They are so strong and centered in themselves. They have that inner pillar of strength, and nobody messes with them. And even if they do, they truly don’t care. They don’t hold on to things. They don’t obsess about it because they know who they are. And that’s what I mean when I talk about coming back home to who you are. It’s coming back home to that remembrance that you are a divine child of God, that you are perfect, that you are a pillar of light, that you deserve everything and that you were the person here to shepherd yourself through this life. You were here to shepherd yourself through this life.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:43]:
And that’s something we forget. Yes. It’s lovely to have a partner. It’s lovely to have friends. It’s lovely to have that support system. The support system is the group of people that can do it for you when you can’t do it for yourself. They’re not there to do it for you for your whole life. At first, our parents do it for us.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:06]:
Then our friends do it for us. But at some point, we have to grow up, and we have to become who we are. We have to reunite to ourselves as a soul, not just as a human, but as a soul. And when we reunite to who we are on a soul level, when we see our own divinity, our own strength, when we understand that our power is inherent in who we are, that’s when we really, really start living. That’s when we really finally start living because we’re shepherding our soul through this life. We are shepherding ourself through this incredible journey. And yes, when we fall, we’ve got those around us that can help carry us along the way. But the point is to come back home to who we are.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:01]:
The point is to come back home to yourself. The point is to find that inner strength and calm and knowing so you can stop performing, so you can stop proving, so you can stop seeking to please, so you can heal yourself on an energetic level from the betrayal wound. So when I was in Egypt, I had this amazing experience at a temple, and I’m gonna say more about it. I’m gonna record a few shows on Egypt, coming up in the next couple of weeks. But I was at this, temple where I had a an ancient memory of working as a healer. And I had this vial of life force of power, And I trusted somebody with that vial, and they took it. And that was the message that I got was my original betrayal. That was the first time I was betrayed.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:05]:
That was first time that I trusted somebody with something precious, and they stole it from me. And then it was like watching multiple movies in fast motion. It was going forward through all of time, through all of space, through my whole ancestral lineage, of all of the times that we women had been betrayed, when we were sold, when we were raped, when we were abused, when we were not cherished, and just all of those little betrayals along the way. And it led right up to my infidelity and how that was such a big betrayal. And as I went back from the first point in time to the last point in time, I used the image of a figure 8 to wrap back in time and then wrap forward in time, and I kept running that infinity symbol, that figure 8 loop going back to the first betrayal moving all the way to the most recent betrayal. And as I ran that infinity loop in my mind’s eye, I was running it with love and with compassion and with an understanding of my own divinity, of my own worth, and it started to heal. And not only this is the magical part because I’ve been doing a lot of the work on an energetic level with myself in this timeline. But as I started going back and I started healing my ancestors and all the women who had spoken their truth and been burned at the stake or had tried to fall in love and were sold into marriage because they were the whatever daughter and it was a family thing and had to be part of a contract.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:08]:
For all the women who couldn’t speak up, for all the women who couldn’t love who they wanted to love, for all the women who had kids taken away from them, for all the women who couldn’t do the things that they wanted to do. It’s like I was breathing that power into them and that backbone and that life into them, And it was healing. It was healing through time. It was healing through space. It was healing my whole ancestral lineage. And it brought this level of clarity and peace, like nothing I had really felt before. And that’s what I want for you. I want you right now today to start thinking about all the ways that you betray yourself when you don’t do what you say you’re gonna do when you don’t do what you want to do.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:05]:
When you overwork, when you don’t take care of yourself, when you berate yourself, when you say negative things to yourself. And I want you to just start raising your awareness around that. The first step is awareness. Notice when you think thoughts like, oh, how stupid are you? Or when you look in the mirror and you think, oh, I look awful. Notice those negative thoughts. Notice the ways you’re not taking care of yourself. Notice when you feel guilty when you stop. Notice when you feel trapped when you play the victim, when you play the martyr.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:49]:
Notice when you have a slightly holier than thou feeling or pride in the way you sacrifice. 1st step is noticing. After you’ve spent a week to a month noticing, move into that next phase of self correction. If you find yourself saying something negative, follow it up with something positive. I am beautiful. I am powerful. I am strong. I am doing the best that I can.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:24]:
I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be me. Take time, spend money on yourself, spend resources on yourself, take up space, assert your opinions first. Don’t ask. Tell. You’ll notice if you have a hard time figuring it out. If you have a hard time figuring it out, that means chances are you have been sacrificing yourself and suppressing yourself and betraying yourself for a long time. What do you want to eat? What movie do you want to watch? Do you want to go on a walk? Do you want to watch some TV? Do you want to read a book? When you don’t know what you want, it’s a sign.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:17]:
Start knowing what you want. Start speaking what you want. Do that for a month or 2. And then the third step is to start feeling it. Walk as if you were a queen or a goddess. Walk as if you’re a movie star. Walk as if you were the divine sovereign queen of your own life. Dance it out.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:48]:
Move it. Breathe it. Live it fully. And that’s how you start healing energetically. Now, yes, I do energy work. I do integrated energy therapy. It’s a form of hands on or distant energy healing. Reiki, emotional freedom technique.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:12]:
There are so many different kinds of energy healing out there. Emotion code. Reach out to me, and I can do it for you. Or reach out to another practitioner if you know somebody else and ask them to help heal you on an energetic level around betrayal. You do the work on your mind. Now do the work on your energy field. Do the work on your ancestral lineage. Do the work on your soul.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:44]:
Let your soul will drop fully into your body. Here’s another tip, another activity. Sit quietly. Close your eyes. Look down. Feel like the top of your head is opening up, and feel your soul start dropping into your body. Literally see a version of yourself dropping into your head and filling up your whole body with a beautiful light. Bring more soul into your body.

Lora Cheadle [00:47:22]:
Bring more soul into your life. And ask that your soul fills you up and heals your energy. That’s what I mean when I talk about healing on an energetic or a soul or an ancestral level. And that’s where real healing takes place. And that’s what a lot of programs miss. A lot of therapists are so focused on the mind. A lot of other programs are so focused on forgiveness or understanding. Focus on you.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:02]:
My program is all about you. Sometimes people say, wow. This is so interesting. At first, I wondered why you kept talking about me and why you weren’t talking about my partner and what he did and what we did, but now I see how it works. Because when I can fully occupy myself, I am capable of anything. When I fully occupy myself, when I am my own strength, when I am my own energy, when I am my own guide, when I am the one who has my own back and who holds my own heart and can wrap my own arms around me, that’s where healing begins. That’s where you find true strength, true love, and true power. And like I said earlier, power in the sense of true power, not power over, but power within, the power to maintain peace, the power to stay in balance, the power to know that I’ve always got my own backbone, that I’ve only always got my own mind, That no matter what happens, I know how to center myself, and I know how to take care of myself.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:27]:
I know how to grieve. I know how to process, and I know how to grow. Another one of the Egyptian myths that I’ll talk about in my show, and I’ve said this word a few times, is backbone, and it’s the backbone of Osiris. And Osiris is one of the Egyptian gods who was cut into many pieces by his brother and killed. And wherever one of those pieces was scattered is where a temple was built along the Nile. And his queen, who loved him, Isis, went and collected all of his pieces and reassembled him. And it was the backbone, the backbone of Osiris, that pulled everything together because our backbone is our backbone, and it is the center pillar of our strength. And we talked about pulling your soul into your body.

Lora Cheadle [00:50:23]:
But when you pull your soul into your body, it needs to be a strong body, and the strong body means having that backbone. Having the backbone means having the energetic blueprint of somebody who is solid, of somebody who will not betray themselves, of somebody who doesn’t vibrate to that frequency of betrayal. Now, yes. Can things still happen in the world on a cultural level by other people? Of course. But when you’re not in that frequency, you’re not in that frequency and it doesn’t impact you. I remember way back in my marriage when The Secret first came out and I loved the movie The Secret. I watched it over and over because I was going to manifest this wonderful relationship. And there was a lot about my relationship that was really wonderful.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:21]:
We were great friends. We laughed together. We loved together. But there was also an element of loneliness in my marriage where I did feel like I needed to please conform and perform, where I didn’t just feel safe enough to drop in. And I remember watching The Secret and there’s this scene in The Secret where I can’t remember how it goes. If the woman the woman is like the woman and the man, and one of them writes a letter, like, night out with the girls. I can’t see you. Because they were in different frequencies, so they weren’t coming together.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:00]:
And the whole idea of the secret is if you have yourself in that receptive mode, you will receive people around you who are of the same frequency because like attracts like and you attract what you project. And I remember thinking about that scene going through betrayal recovery because I was so afraid. Like, what did I do to attract this? What did I do to bring this in? And finally, it hit me. It’s not what I did to bring it in. It’s who I was that brought it in. It’s who women are that brings it in. It’s this whole cultural paradigm that women get betrayed because we’re smaller. We’re less powerful.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:50]:
And it’s this cultural paradigm that we are the ones who get betrayed, and it was equal parts relieving. Oh, I didn’t do something to attract it. It wasn’t me, but it was also relieving to be like, oh, betrayal is a theme that runs throughout all of our existence, through our ancestral lineage, but it’s something that I don’t have to claim anymore. And then I started seeing that movie, that scene from the movie where the couple couldn’t get together because they were on different frequencies. I started seeing it in a whole new light. And I was thinking back to all of the spiritual work that I did when my husband was cheating and how I was on this high spiritual plane. I was studying yoga. I was studying the great masters.

Lora Cheadle [00:53:45]:
I was doing all of this spiritual and religious study during the time he was cheating. And energetically, it was really weird because we couldn’t have been further apart. And in so many ways, it was this weird combination of attracting and rebelling. I was attracting the betrayal because that’s my ancestral lineage and that’s his ancestral lineage too, to betray. He’s not a bad person. He’s not a betrayer. That was his ancestral limit lineage that men rape and plunder and pillage. And it was my ancestral lineage that women get betrayed and shut down and burned at the stake and sold and have their rights taken away.

Lora Cheadle [00:54:39]:
We were each living out that, but then we were also not attracting each other because in my pain over that, I was seeking the spiritual masters, and in his pain over that, he was seeking to cheat. So we each have the same pain. We were bonded with our pain, but we were seeking ways to deal with that pain that were completely polar opposite from each other. And that was the way that we were rebelling and rejecting each other. And it’s so multifaceted. And I just ask you to start thinking about it in your own life. And if you wanna talk, talk to me, jump on my website, lordcheadle.com, set up your free 15 minute appointment, and we’ll just talk about it. We’ll just unpack a little bit.

Lora Cheadle [00:55:37]:
If you had an abandonment wound, that’s a betrayal. If you had a mother or father issues, if you had a past marriage, if you were raped or assaulted or abused, those are all betrayals. Let’s get together and let’s talk, and let’s try to heal this on an energetic level so that is out of your energy field and moving forward. Betrayal won’t be something that you attract ever. Laura atlauraciedel.com. Scroll to the bottom. Book your free consultation. Let’s just talk about it.

Lora Cheadle [00:56:17]:
Before I close, I wanna thank you for listening to this show. I know it’s a different pace than a lot of the shows that I’ve done. I know it’s more contemplative, and I also know it’s probably a little bit more confusing because it’s like, wait. What? Healing on the energetic, ancestral, soul? I can’t see, hear, touch, taste, smell those things. What do you mean by that? So my ask is if you’re a little confused, just to let yourself think, just to let this percolate so you can feel into it because I do promise that it’s gonna start making sense to you. And I also promise that if you want any sort of a relationship going forward, this is the work that you need to do. It is not just counseling. It is not just forgiveness.

Lora Cheadle [00:57:09]:
It is not just prayer. It’s energy work. It’s healing on an energetic level. I can help. Reach out. Let’s talk. Let’s do this. And as usual, always remember to flaunt exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.

Narrator [00:57:37]:
Tune in next time to flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Laura Cheadle every Wednesday at 7 AM and 7 PM Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision 7 Radio Network. Uncover the truth of what’s possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.