Nischa Phair Fawn

You’ve probably heard of fight, flight, or freeze, but did you know that fawning (going out of your way to please someone) is also a trauma response? While fawning is a common stress response for many women, it’s especially prevalent after infidelity or betrayal. Learn how to identify, manage, and stop fawning behaviors so you can create and hold better, more authentic boundaries.

Top take-a-ways:
  • Why so many women claim the “don’t like sex,” and how to reclaim and reorient to pleasure by understanding the difference between the “stress management mode” and the “pleasure production mode.”
  • Reveling in the pride of surviving your trauma and releasing shame when you wake up one day and wonder, “How did this happen?” by understanding that fawning in a biological stress response (not an emotional defect) that it is trained into us as women, as our instincts are slowly trained out.
  • The reasons why we can’t see red flags in relationships until it’s too late, and why we explain away unhealthy, toxic masculinity and behaviors.
  • Top tip! The power of the “Somatic Pause” (which is a body-full, instead of mindful break) and how to incorporate little moments of pleasure throughout the day.
  • How pleasure helps us see the truth of who we are and what we need to do to heal ourselves and feel better.



Nischa Heron Phair is an author, researcher, trauma-informed sex educator and the founder of SomaBody Trauma-Informed Pleasure Work. She works with survivors and those recovering from unhealthy relationships to help them reclaim a nourishing, authentic and soulfully-aligned relationship to pleasure that supports them to live more purposefully in every area of their lives.

Her book, Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes is the first book to be written about fawning in the context of sex and consent. In addition to sounding the alarm, Phair attempts to answer the million-dollar question: How can sex and intimacy thrive in a post-#metoo, post-pandemic reality? Part exposé, part self-study guide, part memoir, Fawn is a rousing and heartfelt call to celebrate our authentic sexuality and to invite more integrity and intention into our sex lives and relationships, whether they be casual or long-term. Learn more at:

Lora Cheadle is an infidelity survivor who uses the concepts in burlesque to help women reclaim their identity and self-worth after betrayal so they can move forward with confidence, embrace their sexy, and create a life they love!

Untangle yourself from the past, release judgment, and uncover the power, beauty, and joy that’s been inside you all along. All with a wink and a smile!

Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at and start reclaiming yourself and your life today!