Hello, how are you today?
How often do you hear that (or a similar) phrase on a daily basis, and how often do you actually stop and feel your answer before spouting off with, “Fine, how are you?”
A dear friend in Romania shared with me that in her culture, if someone asks you how you are, they really want to know. And as such, they expect you to dig deep and answer their question thoughtfully and accurately. Asking, “How are you today?” will result in an actual conversation where actual thoughts and information is exchanged.
Can you imagine?
How different might your life be if you had the opportunity to pause, self reflect, talk about, and actually feel how you were feeling every day?
It’s my guess that a couple of things would happen…
First, you would have the opportunity to pause, get out of your head and out of your never-ending to-do list and check in with yourself. It is my guess that you would notice if you are tired, hungry, thirsty, sad, excited, and then, you would be better able to meet your own needs. You could stand up and stretch your shoulders. Get that glass of water. Take a deep breath. Call and check in with your ailing family member.
You could meet your own needs, instead of staying blind to your own needs. Or feeling bitter and resentful that your partner/friend/employer weren’t meeting your needs for you.
(Spoiler Alert: Nobody else can meet your needs unless and until you clearly state to them exactly what your needs are.)
Second, you would have a moment to pause and reflect on how you might like to feel. Which is something you absolutely need to know, if you ever hope to attain that feeling.
Confused? Let me explain.
We all say that we want to feel good or be healthy or love our lives, but what does that even mean? It means something totally different for each of us, and until you know how you want to feel, how do you know what you are chasing? How do you know when you arrive? My version of happiness is bouncy and exuberant and slightly exhausted. Your version of happiness may be calm and peaceful. You’ve got to know what you want in order to go after it!
It’s like getting a college degree. You can’t just muck around being undeclared forever. At some point you’ve got to name it and claim it.
Name how you want to feel and pursue that feeling.
Wanna go deeper? GOOD!
Here is the link to my one hour podcast/class on how you can begin right now getting in touch with whatever it is that makes you happy. And as a bonus, right under the image, you can click to download the accompanying handout. Together with the podcast, you will have all the resources you need to step squarely into your JOY!