Making yourself happy, overcoming the negativity bias, the power of positive thinking, finding joy and living Happily Ever After are concepts that most of us aspire to, yet sadly, they are things that many of us never attain. And sadder still is the fact that we are typically the ones who block our own path to a life filled with happiness, satisfaction and joy.
Because it’s wedding season, I have been thinking quite a bit about all of the things I am married to, and how sometimes I have ended up in ‘marriages’ that I never intended to be in or that I had severely outgrown. If you are anything like me, even though you aren’t happy in some of these unions, you still fight to stay in those unintended marriages, keeping yourself miserable (or at least mildly dissatisfied) without realizing that you have the power to make a change.
People often joke that they are ‘married’ to their job – and sometimes it certainly seems that they are – and as long as that relationship treats them well, and makes them happy, then why not? But what about the things that you are ‘married’ to that don’t treat you well or make you happy? You know, like an idea or a belief about yourself or others that quite frankly, makes you feel icky.
You are not Your Problems. You are Not Your Beliefs. You are Healthy, Whole and Complete!
Right now, without giving it too much thought, what are your top struggles? What are the things in your life that you are attached to that drag you down? A lack of money? Being a caretaker for aging parents or young children? A lack of quality relationships? Health challenges?
No matter what you are dealing with, step back and see yourself and the problem as being two separate things. Even if your problem is your health, separate yourself from your disease or diagnosis. Dis-attach yourself from your problem and be curious about who you would be without it. Divorce yourself from all thoughts, ideas and beliefs about your problem and see who you are, and what your life might be like, without it.
Without your problem, your life would be perfect and you would live each day Happily Ever After. Am I right?
Release Attachment and Divorce Yourself from Your Problems
Which leads me back to marriage. We enter marriage hoping for Happily Ever After. Yet, roughly 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Which means that despite the difficulty and trauma of going through a divorce, half of all married people decide to break free from their misery and divorce. And do you know what the vast majority of people who have gone through a divorce say? They say that they should have done it earlier!
What ideas and beliefs are you married to right now, that you might need to divorce? Are you married to the idea of being sick, helpless or underpaid? Are you wed to the belief that you are nothing without a partner, child or size 6 body?
Like a regular divorce, it might be challenging, but I promise you that divorcing yourself from ideas or beliefs that cause you misery will be worth it in the end!
Your Happily Ever After is Now!
And as usual, if you need help, please reach out. As a former attorney who dabbled in divorce before moving into coaching, and who has repeatedly divorced herself from unsatisfying ideas and beliefs, I am an expert at helping others divorce themselves from, well, themselves.
Is it time to set yourself free? To find your own Happily Ever After? Remember, the biggest regret is not doing it sooner. What are you waiting for? Set yourself free!