Have you lost your sparkle? Losing your sparkle means feeling disconnected from yourself, unfulfilled by relationships or events that are supposed to bring you joy, and lacking the enthusiasm and motivation to do something about your body, jobs, or whatever it is that’s bugging you at the moment.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the state of the world, some “event”, like a divorce, job loss, or empty nesting, or the cumulative buildup of disappointments from the last 20 years – it manifests the same way. It moves you into a state of fight, flight, or freeze and you experience fear, anxiety, or confusion over what to do next.
Living in Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Living in a state of fight, flight, or freeze moves you into default behavior mode, meaning that you slide straight into your worst habits and behaviors. People pleasing, over-functioning and trying to “fix” what’s wrong, or spiraling into anxiety or negativity. Because it’s psychologically impossible to think rationally in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, you will end up either collapsing into paralysis (freeze), spinning up into haphazard action, (fight) or drinking wine and binge watching Netflix (flight). Because none of those actions produce the results you desire, what happens? That’s right – you internalize this so-called failure as being your fault, and pretty soon you are lying in bed, obsessing over every mistake you have made for the last 30 years.
This kind of a self-judgment spiral causes you to lose confidence in yourselves and your abilities. You start feeling like an imposter, convince yourself that you are broken, decide that you can’t trust yourself, that everything you do is going to turn out wrong – so why bother trying – and life slowly ceases to be fun. You start dreading going to work, you hate on your body, and relationships that are supposed to bring connection and joy end up being stressful or unfulfilling because you are more focused on what could go wrong, than on what might actually be going right.
That’s how losing your sparkle happens, and its actually totally normal. Women have lost their sparkle for years and it’s not your fault that it happened to you. You were actually set up by the multi-billion-dollar beauty, fitness, and self-help industries to feel this way. Let me explain…
Losing Your Sparkle is Part of the Female Condition
As a woman, you have been conditioned to seek approval outside of yourself. You have also been conditioned to do more in order to be seen (or paid) as equal. So instead of loving life, expressing yourself authentically and living to the fullest, you have been raised to modulate yourself. Pile on advertisements, books, movies, TV, and a culture that all tell you that you are too fat, too skinny, too old, too shrill, too flat-chested, too ambitions, too gray, too wrinkly, too whatever – and it’s a wonder we have any sparkle left at all! Seriously, is there anything we’re told we do right?
One of my favorite quotes is the one about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, “Sure he was great, but she did everything he did backwards, and in heels.” Until you turn around, face forward, put on shoes you can actually maneuver in, and take the lead in dance your own life, you will struggle, and staying connected to your sparkle will be tough!
For Years I was Disconnected From My Sparkle Too
I spent my whole life being the good girl who did it all right, put off fun until the work was done, and did everything for everyone else, often at my own expense. I smiled through the pain and suppressed my own desires in an attempt to please and to avoid being stereotyped or judged. Instead of owning my worth and being comfortable and confident with who I was or standing in my power and allowing myself to sparkle as freely and as brightly as I could, I sought to change or fix myself.
It took me a good 10, 20 years to figure out how to break free and sparkle authentically, but I figured it out. And I can teach you, too. And no, the answer is NOT more self-help! It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from, or what you have been through. If you have lost your sparkle, I can show you exactly how to find it.
The Secret to Finding Your Sparkle
Using the secrets I’m going to teach you over the next three days, you will be able to let go of the need to please, stop suppressing your true identity and conforming to the world around you, quit “doing” everything for everyone and start “being” who you are. That way, you can step back into your power and sovereignty, own you worth, and reclaim your enthusiasm and joy for life.
Finding your sparkle is all about being seen and loved for who you are, Not for who you think you should be. And no matter how much of a hot mess you think you are, no matter how overwhelmed you feel, and no matter how much you doubt your ability to ever sparkle again, I can get you there.
So, be sure to check out my next blog, or view the same content on video, complete with super cute slides! How to Connect With The Most Powerful Gift Every Woman has inside (so you can reclaim your sparkle no matter who you are or what’s going on in life)
Did you know that this is blog is apart of a four-post series that you can access as a Vlog (video blog) as well? Check them all out below and watch your sparkle soar!
- How to Find Your Sparkle, Reclaim your Confidence & Own Your Worth (Even if you’re a hot mess or feel so overwhelmed that you don’t think you can.)