Women in particular have a tendency to take way too much on, because we were raised to be a good little girl and behave. Have you ever been so enmeshed with everyone and everything around you that you found it difficult get your own stuff done? Me too… After a lifetime of being a really good girl, who kept all the plates spinning, often at my own expense, I finally figured out how to overcome the story in my head that I was the only ones who could take care of everything, and disentangle myself from the toxic idea that being overly involved somehow made me more worthy as women.
Over-functioning is a distraction from owning your power and stepping into your greatness. When you live tangled up in judgment and overwhelm, you shut yourself down and end up in a negative cycle where you start getting all judgmental and self-righteous about others who are living their purpose, When really, you’re just jealous.
You are not Cinderella, waiting for your fairy godmother to rescue you or for your prince to notice how fabulous you are. You can take yourself to the ball whenever you are darned good and ready to go to the ball, and if others want to go too, they are perfectly capable of getting themselves ready to go!
Ironic, isn’t it, the way we wear our overwhelm like a badge of honor, and how we take pride in conforming to other people’s expectations? I know both from my own life experiences, and because many of the woman I work with as a coach and intuitive hypnotherapist, tell me some version of the same story: That they are the only ones capable of doing everything that needs doing, and what would people think if they didn’t? I also know that overwhelm lead to burnout, resentment, and bitterness.
Could it be time to let go of the “My life is too busy!” story, and untangle yourself from judgments thar are only designed to keep you down, and write yourself a new story?
Emotional Labor Is Real!
Before you start feeling guilty for being overwhelmed, I want to reassure you that the struggle is real. Women shoulder 2.6 times the amount of emotional labor that men do, and they do an average of two hours more work around the home per DAY than men. It’s a similar story at work. Women work just as hard, and sometimes harder, than men because want to overcome the perception that women in general, but especially women with children, are less committed to their career than men.
You DO, do more. It’s not just an illusion. See why women fall into the self-help trap so easily? If it wasn’t for reconnecting to my Naked Self Worth, through the 5 steps of FLAUNT, my dreams would have died right there on the vine, because I never would have gotten around to them. But they didn’t. And yours don’t have to either. It doesn’t matter how many jobs, kids, or unsupportive partners you have, you absolutely can build your dreams and live your sparkle. And, no, you don’t need any special skills, or anyone else’s permission. You are an adult; you get to make your own decisions.
The Privilege of Distraction
Without too much effort, I bet you can name at least five other women who have it harder than you but are doing way more because they don’t have the luxury of making excuses or pandering to judgment. Distraction is such a privilege. It’s no coincidence that people like Oprah, or JK Rowling, who really DO have it hard, make it so big so fast. They don’t have a choice.
But you do. You can choose to stay stuck, distracted, and resentful, or you can untangle and thrive. Your choice. No shame, but how many times a day do you check social media? Did you know that in 2019 the AVERAGE person spent 2 and a half hours on social media? That’s like adding in a massage and a yoga class to your day, every day! And I can guarantee that most people claim they’d never have time for all of that!
Do you want things to finally change, or do you want things to keep going as they are, falling into petty gossip, constantly trying to fix yourself, and doing things for people that they can do for themselves, while feeling resentful, bitter, and exhausted? “I can’t because ___” is a distraction and an excuse; not a legitimate reason.
The Dark Night of the Soul
My come to Jesus moment happened two months before my youngest child graduated from high school. For years I had kept myself distracted and busy, taking care of my family and supporting my husband as he traveled extensively for work. I was really looking forward to empty nesting because it was going to be my first opportunity to everything that I had wanted to but put off so I could take care of everyone else. It was also going to allow me to finally start traveling with my husband and really enjoying life.
But before I had the chance to do any of that, I found out that my husband of 23 years, had been having affairs with five different women, for the past 15 years! It devastated me on every level. Had I not been connected to my Naked Self-Worth, I couldn’t have gotten through it.
Suddenly I had to get my son graduated, and try to ENJOY all of the end of the year events and celebrations, figure out how to celebrate my oldest son’s 20th birthday, and somehow keep managing life, while trying to figure out what had been real in the last 23 years of my life. It was the worst experience I have ever had, but it forced me to cut through distraction, over functioning, fear of judgment, and step fully into my own power and worth.
Without question, I am more solid in myself now because of that experience. And yes, I sparkle brighter. I also wake up every day with enthusiasm and excitement, even when I know it’s not going to be a great day. Because I know what really matters, and I know I can handle anything. And so can you.
It doesn’t matter what has beaten you down, what the state of the world is like, or who has covered your sparkle, when you connect to your Naked Self-Worth, you’ll be fine – better than fine, actually, because you can finally cut through the distraction and BE exactly who you are.
Working through my husband’s infidelity, I had to deal with everyone else’s judgment, as well as my own shame and feelings of worthlessness. I had to untangle myself from all of that and rest in my Naked Self-Worth before I could see that his cheating had nothing to do with me. It only had to do with him. There was nothing I had to do to fix myself, because I wasn’t broken and it wasn’t about me. Getting that solid and that clear, enabled us to heal our marriage and for me to hold enough space for him to heal the trauma from his abusive childhood.
Life Will Pass You By Unless You FLAUNT!
Don’t wait until your “diagnosis” to start living. Don’t wait until you lose your job, someone you love dies, or infidelity hits. Connect to your Naked Self Worth and find your sparkle again, now. Or you might not have the chance.
Remember fight, flight, or freeze? Don’t start fast and burn out, give up on your entire life, or numb out on social media. Take the lead in the dance of your own life, and start dancing today.
Imagine what it would feel like to be so nourished, nurtured, and clear every day, that you no longer “needed” to please anyone but yourself? What would it be like to build your dreams, live your sparkle, and express yourself fully every day? Let’s imagine that right now.
Two Futures – What is Your Legacy?
Focus on your breath, relax the body, the mind, and the spirit. See yourself as you are right now, today. See your clothes, your hair, the room around you. Imagine, visualize or pretend that you are making the choice not to change. To just continue on, as things have always been. Feel yourself feeling the exact same. Eating the same foods, cooking the same dinners. Having the same conversations. Making the same bed, washing the same laundry, having the same fights. Just like you are watching a VHS tape, in your mind’s eye, fast forward through your life. Through the next year, three years, five years, ten years, all the way to the end of your life with nothing changing.
How do you feel? Are you satisfied with your life? Did you reach your full potential? Or is it a little hollow? Is there any regret? What is your legacy…
Let go of that future and relax. Now, think of a time when you were truly living your sparkle. Where you felt unstoppable, confident, worthy. Move into those feelings, and anchor them in with a breath, and by mentally repeating the word, sparkle. Remember that feeling, and fast forward from that sparkly, powerful time to today, where you boldly make a different choice.
Right now, today, choose yourself. Choose to sparkle! Untangle yourself from the past, from the stories, and the judgment. See your past, like a series of ropes, ribbons or chains, falling off of you and dissolving. Hear the chains thunk, the squeak of the cage door. Look down, and see your feet, as they are right now, today, stepping out of those chains, out of that cage. You are free! Untangled from your past, from your situation, and from judgment. Breathe in that sparkle, that feeling of joy and excitement, and fast-forward once again. But this time the images are so different! See the fun you have, the connections you make, and the joy you facilitate for everyone around you!
Fast forward to the end of your life, staying connected to your sparkle, committed to the choice you made today, to choose you. How does your life end now? Feel the satisfaction of a life lived full out, of your potential being fully realized. What is your legacy now?
Check in once again with your heart and with your soul, knowing that you chose you. You lived the life that you dreamed. You are satisfied with the choices you made. You had the courage to live a life that was true to who you are, and did not limit yourself to what others expected of you. And it feels. So. Good!
Remain connected to this feeling of satisfaction, wholeness, and of a life well lived. Remember this turning point, and that the power, the Naked Self-Worth, was in you all along. This is your year to FLAUNT! Make it count!
How to Stay Motivated for the Long Haul
Reclaiming your sparkle is doable for anyone. It doesn’t take any special skills or abilities; it just takes desire and decision. Through the last few blog posts, I’ve taught you exactly what you need to do to reconnect to your Naked Self Worth. But I can’t teach you everything I know like that. I know that it’s easy to fall back into the self-help trap, to get tangled up in everyone else’s drama, and push your own dreams aside so you can fix everyone else. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to hold your hand and show you how to make a different choice when times get tough. I’m here to help you rewire your brain for more joy, strip out of anything that’s holding you back, and untangle yourself from toxic judgments, so you can find your sparkle, live your life full out, and let go of feeling overwhelmed, bitter and resentful.
You made the choice to thrive today, but as a hypnotherapist, I know that motivation is short lived. Remember the New Year’s Resolutions thing from earlier? Isn’t it time to STOP making the same resolutions year after year? If you are tired of getting knocked down, of feeling like it’s never going to be your turn, or if you are afraid that you are running out of time, I can help you go further, faster, so you don’t waste the next ten years sputtering like I did throughout my 30’s and half of my 40’s.
If you are curious, I’ve got the program for you, because in order to find your sparkle, reconnect to your Naked Self-Worth and re-choreograph all facets of your life, we need consistent time together.
My Live Your Sparkle, Life Choreography Package helps you to figure out exactly who you are, what you want, and how to get there.
So you can give up feeling bitter, resentful, and overwhelmed and be free to sparkle, your own way!
Because rewiring the mind takes time, we will systematically use the power of hypnotherapy to vent out limiting beliefs, unproductive habits, and outdated cultural conditioning and strengthen the beliefs that are in alignment with who you are and what you want to accomplish. You will have five, 90-minute intuitive hypnotherapy and coaching sessions.
- Work with me begins with a 90-minute Life Choreography® visioning session where we lay out reclaiming your sparkle looks and feels like for you.
- The second session focuses on Recognizing & Releasing anything that is holding you back, and instilling clarity and confidence.
- You will also get a journal, with two-minute journal prompt that will uncover deep-seated beliefs and seal in lasting change.
- Your third 90-minute session focuses on Revealing who you are inside, your life purpose, and everything that you desire.
- You will also get a daily, three-minute meditation that will help you shift you from a state of doing, and into a state of being.
- Your forth 90-minute session focuses on Re-choreographing you life in accordance with the Life Choreography® vision that you completed in our first session.
- In order to fully integrate these changes, you will get a daily, five-minute movement video.
- Your time with me concludes with a second, 90-minute Life Choreography® session where we debrief your journey and set up a realistic plan for the next year, breaking it down into 4 easy to manage quarters.
- Throughout our time together, you will also get weekly email assignments to keep you focused, and not overwhelmed. Remember, this is about overlaying the 5 proves steps of FLAUNT! into your life and creating lasting change, not about stressing yourself out.
What You’ll create
You will create yourself – with authenticity, clarity, beauty and uninhibited joy.
You’ll be Able To
- Get clear and confident on who you are and what you deserve, so you can stop people pleasing, fixing yourself, and proving your worth.
- Untangle yourself from the toxicity, drama, or judgment or opinions of others and live your life, your way. And, because you will know without question where you begin, and where others end, you will empower them to step up, and live their best lives as well.
- Live fully, freely, and without inhibition or fear, so you can be seen, known, and loved for exactly who YOU are!
You’ll Never Have To
- Self-sacrifice or prove your worth, (because you’ll already know it)
- Be impacted or afraid of the judgment of others (because you’ll know your own direction) and
- Get thrown for a loop, stuck in despair, caught in confusion, or be paralyzed by uncertainty again. Because you KNOW your purpose, your direction, and how to find and live from a place of true joy that transcends anything external.
Program Value & Investment
Purchased separately, this package costs $2,466, But stick with me, because you KNOW I’m not going to charge you that! This has been a super insane year, and I’m doing everything I can to make life more palatable for everyone.
This year only I’m offering the full program at it at $1,966, which is $500 off. And because I feel strongly that the world needs us all to become the best humans we can, if you sign up within 7 days, I’ll throw in two bonuses, that I normally sell for $300 each. So that’s $600 more that you’re getting for free!
Bonus #1 Intro to Lap Dance Virtual Course – Which is something you do for yourself, not for others (unless it brings you joy to share it with another, that is)! And it’s really fun because it gets you back in touch with your body and loving yourself.
Bonus #2 Voxer Support Package – Which gives you personal, one on one support for times you are frustrated or have questions and need a little boost. It literally means that I have your back and was with you every step of the way. Can you imagine how good that feels? When has someone EVER had your back like that?
Where Will YOU be, One Year From Today?
You know what life is like when you’ve lost your sparkle. You’ve caught a glimpse of what it can be like to recapture that sparkle and start living fully connected to your power, enthusiasm and worth. One year from now, where will you be? Living your sparkle, like you say during your guided meditation, or exactly where you are now, still waiting to decide? The choice is yours. All you need is Naked Self-Worth, through the proven 5-steps of FLAUNT!
I know you want it, and I also know that change is hard and that it’s a really big decision. That’s why I’m also giving you a free 30 minute discovery call with me, where we can talk and figure out what finding your sparkle looks like for you, and if my Life Choreography Package might help.
But my 2020 pricing and my 2 bonus gifts are only available through September 7th! Get your call booked right now. Go to www.calendly.com/loras-schedule and I can’t wait to visit. Have an amazing week, and always remember to FLAUNT!
Did you know that this is blog is apart of a four-post series that you can access as a Vlog (video blog) as well? Check them all out below and watch your sparkle soar!
- How to Find Your Sparkle, Reclaim your Confidence & Own Your Worth (Even if you’re a hot mess or feel so overwhelmed that you don’t think you can.)
- How to Find Your Sparkle, Reclaim your Confidence & Own Your Worth (Even if you’re a hot mess or feel so overwhelmed that you don’t think you can.)